Chapter 19 ==== On the Way Back Home
One of the benefits of seeing Frederick is I usually come home with a carriage full of his cured meats. I think there is enough to last the entire Winter. Thankfully, he also opened up a few bottles of wine for me to sip through my trip back home. The Chianti goes well with one of his more peppery salami and the Speck too.
It is more chilly now than it was a week ago. If only I can have a nice, hot, bowl of soup with the Bresaola and hot bread. A warm hand to hold would be even nicer. But I do not know if I would get that chance when I am back.
If Gracie and I could get through this Winter, maybe we can go to the places Frederick and I have been to years ago. We would sip a different bottle of wine each meal, taste the local meats both cured and cooked, try the seasonal fruits and vegetables, enjoy the many types of coffee and tea, see the beauty of every land and join in on any local festival there is at the time. I want to give her great moments to remember for rest of her life. The question is if we can do all this and still have a possible affair in the future?
What if one day, one of us stops having feelings for one another?
It is possible that a series of events can lead to that. The gap becomes wider and wider. The distance between our hearts does not tag onto the same line or route any more. Nobody would want to get into a relation of any sort hoping to fall apart later. Sadness would usually follow after the end of any relation. Unless it was a bad relation to begin with then the ending would be a breath of fresh air.
Can two hearts grow farther apart over time that easily?
Would I become sick of every other habit she has?
Would she be sick of my habits?
Will there be something to come along that I find more important than her?
Where and when do we give up on one another?
I wish that I can find out how many elderly couples are actually happy with who they have been married to and put up with for a few decades.
What is their secret to a long marriage?
What keeps them together rather than strangle one another?
Are they ever too busy to care or does being busy makes their heart grow fonder for more time together?
Will we find out that we are really not fit to be together?
How compromising we are now may not always be that way in the future. If one of us becomes less inclined to meet half way then there has to be a reason. There has to be some sort of pattern to build up over the months and years for it to reach that level. It is not an over night matter which is what makes it difficult to detect.
Instead of dining at a local restaurant this time, I had ordered dinner to be sent to my room. I was hoping for more quiet time, but that did not happen since the couple next door were having a yelling match. If only I knew, I would have eaten else where.
It made me wonder if Gracie and I would be the same way years from now. From what I could hear, it sounds more to me that the husband was more fed up with the wife. I do not know how often they quarrel, but whether this is one of the few or many, it is not a healthy relationship.
"For once, can you not leave me in peace?
Can I not read the papers without you constantly nagging at me?"
"Well I would if you did everything right. I am always the one to pick up after your mess. Who do you think keeps the house clean?"
"I will consider where I put my clothes and personal items a little more. Will that make you happy and stop nagging so much?!"
"No! It is not only that. You drink too much and you are out at the pub too often. It is as if you do not want to come home."
"Well do you blame me?
I come home and the first thing you do is nag nag nag. You think I want to come home from a long day at work to hear that?
Would it kill you to learn some new recipes?"
"You are saying my cooking is not good enough for you? Is that it?!"
"It does not hurt for you to add a little more fat to the food. Some bacon maybe or fried fish once in a while."
"I am only concerned about our health. If you want to die due to clogged arteries then be my guest."
"I think I will die of a massive headache first with all your nagging!"
"This is the thanks I get for trying to keep you healthy, the house clean and making home cooked meals for you?!"
"You think I am not doing my part by working long hours at the factory?
Do you ever thank me for going through the infernal house of the devil every holiday season?"
"How dare you! My mother's house is not a place to be mocked!"
"I was not referring to the house itself."
"Well if you did not like to go then why did you?"
"If I did not then you would nag me to death. When I do get to the house of fire, I get to hear more nagging from the devil herself who never thinks I am good enough for you. All this nagging runs in your family."
"After all that I have done for you, this is how you treat me?!"
"I should be asking the same. You are not exactly all that. If I knew that I would be married to a nag then I would have stayed single."
"Are you saying that your life would be better without me?!"
"I know it would have been much more quiet."
"You are heartless!"
"Me, heartless?
I take some time off from work to go with you to see your Aunt Beatrice and you call me heartless?
There are better things I can do on my free time than to be out in this weather visiting your relative. I could have let you go on your own or have someone else go with you, but no. You had insisted that I come along with you and here I am. What thanks do I get?"
"Well it would not look proper if you were not with me to see Aunt Beatrice. She would have thought that you did not care about me or worse. We do not need her to have the wrong impression of us."
"Does it really matter what she thinks about us?