Scott and Victoria grow closer through a loss
----------[]-----[]----------
The week after her home pregnancy test showed positive, Victoria saw her Ob/Gyn, Dr. Winston. He confirmed her pregnancy and estimated a due date. Since this was her first pregnancy, he talked to her about symptoms she should worry about and a few she shouldn't. He had them in a small brochure as well.
About a month later, I was in the bathroom and had just gotten out of the shower to get ready for work when she screamed. I ran into the bedroom and she was standing by the bed with blood on her hand and running down her leg.
I tried to remain calm for her sake, but inside I was full of fear. We got her dressed and raced to the hospital, where an Ob/Gyn on duty examined her and talked to both of us.
"Victoria, you have had a miscarriage. I suspect, based on my examination so far, that you have no pregnancy tissue left inside you, which is great news. I want to take a few minutes to confirm that, though, but first let's talk about your feelings."
I sat and listened to this wonderful doctor, who was soft-spoken, matter of fact, but conscious of how Victoria felt. She was emotionally crushed.
He told her a miscarriage this early was often thought to be a problem with the egg or the sperm getting a bad copy of DNA. Somehow, her body may have recognized that. Perhaps it was not a viable conception. Maybe it didn't respond properly to inputs from her body. It's possible the egg was in the wrong location. For whatever reason, her body decided to terminate it. It's a natural process and no one's fault.
He then took a few minutes to examine her more carefully with a small video probe. He pronounced her clean, with no further treatment needed.
Victoria asked whether she had done anything wrong. He smiled, put his hand on her shoulder and told her no. It was not her fault, just nature's way of correcting something that went wrong in conception.
"Doctor, I need to ask something. I have a background I'm not proud of, but I used some drugs for a few years. Mostly uppers. Fortunately, I never got into hard stuff like heroin. Could that be the cause of this?"
"I doubt it. Here's what I think you two should do. This is what I would do with my wife in this circumstance. Go away for a wonderful relaxing weekend. Go for long walks together. Sit together and kiss. Don't worry about sex or trying to get pregnant right away. It's fine to have sex, just don't make it your goal to get pregnant. Your body will sort things out and pregnancy will happen when it's ready. Reconnect and find solace with each other.
"If you aren't pregnant within six months, go see Dr. Winston, but I think you'll be pregnant, and the odds are good you will have a normal pregnancy."
We got her checked out of the hospital. Of course, she got the wheelchair ride while I went to get the car.
Victoria was crying as we drove home. I had no idea what to say, but I began to see the wisdom of his advice. I had an idea.
When we got home, she walked into the house normally, showing no signs of trouble.
"I want to take a shower, then I'd like you to hold me."
While she was in the shower, I called Liz and gave her the news. I also explained what I had in mind to follow the doctor's advice.
"Scott, thank you for calling. I don't want to rush over and elevate her emotions. Just let her know we've talked and I'm available if she wants to talk."
Of course, when Victoria came out of the bedroom in her robe, I told her and she called Liz. She told me later her mom had been upbeat about it and told her she had two early miscarriages like that and immediately got pregnant again. One of them that followed a miscarriage was Victoria.
She seemed a little brighter when she got off the phone.
I also called my office and talked with the senior partner. He told me in no uncertain terms I was not to show my face in that office for a week. He knew my secretary had a handle on all my current work, and he would reassign or reschedule the work as appropriate.
"Scott, I don't want you to misunderstand. Your most important duty right now is your wife, and I will be sorely pissed if I catch you trying to work on anything for the next week."
"Thanks, Jack. I really appreciate your support."
Victoria and I sat on the sofa, or rather, I sat, and she laid down with her upper body in my arms, facing me.
"Babe, I know you're disappointed. We're both disappointed, but millions of women miscarry every year. I appreciated what the doctor had to say. It may have been me who sent inadequately trained sperm into you."
She smiled through her tears. "I just had a visual of a sperm heading to war with a helmet too big and a uniform that doesn't fit. Almost a funny movie."
I started laughing. "We should propose it as a plot."
"I love you, Scott. I'm sorry this happened, but I've gotten through worse things, by far."
That was music to my ears!
"I agree. Remember, you are the most courageous and strong woman I know."
I held her for a few minutes and then shared my idea.
"Remember the first time we took my boat out and you asked about the cabin? You went down to look at it and came back smiling. Were you having sexy thoughts about us down there?"
She blushed visibly. "I was. Really erotic thoughts. I saw that bed and thought of being there with you inside me as the boat gently rocked during the night."
"I was thinking we could take the boat out for 2-4 days and spend time doing whatever we want. We can sleep on the boat, explore the lake and various islands. We can sunbathe. You can even avoid tan lines this time."
"Don't you need to go to work?"
"I'm under orders from Jack to spend the next week with you, and he told me he would be seriously pissed with me if I tried to work on anything during the week. He's making sure everything I was working on gets handled."
"That's so wonderful of him! I need to send him a thank you card. Scott, I think that sounds wonderful. Let's take the boat out and stay as long as we want. I'll ask Mom to take Roscoe for the week, unless you want to bring him."
"It might be fun to take Roscoe. If we decide to have sex, I'll lock him in the bathroom."
"Chicken!"
"You're right. Your turn to be on top."
It did my heart such good to see her humor showing through!
We made a shopping list for groceries. The boat has a compact kitchen, but it's basic. We planned on food for five days. If we decided to stay longer, we'd stop at a landing with a store nearby.
"Bring your bikini, Babe."
"I will, but I also have one you haven't seen yet. Remember when I described two suits as conservative and not at all conservative? Well, I don't know it's official designation, but this one is way past the not at all conservative bikini you've seen. Maybe I'll even bring some lingerie, just in case I can't keep my hands off you!"
"Are you going to be able to miss class?"
"I'll email each of my professors. One nice thing about being a senior, an older senior at that, is they will go out of their way to help me."
