Until Now

San Diego 1975

I'm well aware that a lot of what I'm about to say might make me sound like a creep, a stalker possibly even, but I'm asking you to hear me out for a moment. Just put yourself in my position as I tell you everything and then try to tell me how you would be any different.

I'll start with myself first, I don't want to go into this tale without you having a little bit of my background at least.

I was born as Leo Reginald in 1950 but have always been called Flex after having spent most of my childhood trying to show off anything I had or could do, usually with no success, making the attempts that much more memorable for everyone else.

Most of my childhood was spent in children's homes after my dad died in the Korean war and my mom was killed in a car accident soon after, leaving me to my own devices at just the age of five.

Things seemed to work out well enough for me though, by the time I was 18 and the U.S was just entering the height of their conflict with Vietnam I had myself enough cash saved from all my side hustles as a street kid being put to use by all the amounting drug dealers in San Diego to travel to Europe and witness as it rebuilt itself over the next years.

I met Luc during my travels through France, finding out soon after that that we had a similiar background and upbringing, connecting with him in a rare way then as he tagged along for the rest of my trip and joined me upon my return to San Diego at the end of 1973.

Not falling back into my old ways was hard at first when I returned, constantly being enticed by the easy cash and the rush that comes with crime but Luc had other plans for us, plans of his own that I was now a part of as he convinced me to open a shop with him near Mission Beach where we had everything a beach goer desired or needed.

It didn't take long for our business to find success, the demand for what we were selling combined with Luc's and I's smarts and charisma had people coming in and out and returning every day keeping us well busy over the next year and a half.

And then everything changed six month ago. The day she moved in across from where Luc and I were sharing an apartment to be exact.

I have seen many fascinating things and beautiful people, witnessed several life changing events, but nothing has ever quite intrigued me the way she does.

I tried to not watch at first, would turn away from my window or pull my blinds shut, but it became harder the more time passed. She lives her life in front of her windows, completely unaware of the world outside, or simply uncaring, I'm not sure.

I had never heard her speak a word, only heard her sing along to her music. Music that belongs to a collection that is impeccable and playing all day, filling the courtyard that separates my apartment from hers.

Nor have I ever spoken to her, not even sure what I would say to someone as flawless as her. She spends more time with no pants on than wearing any, walking around her apartment in just a tank top or t-shirt and underwear with either a joint or a wineglass in her hand and her curls tossed up into either a messy bun or ponytail. Every movement of hers is enticing, every stretch of her limbs alluring, and every glimpse into her life only left you wanting to see more.

I don't think she's always drinking wine though, it just seems to be the only glass she owns, in general she doesn't seem like she desires to possess many things, keeping her furnishing minimal. The only thing she seems to have a lot of is art supplies, and a lot of time to use them as she spends her days creating art pieces that draw me in just as much as she does.

Any other of her time seems to be spent staring off into space as she gets lost in thoughts that become visible in her face as the time passes until she will suddenly snap back out of it, always leaving me wondering what she could possibly be thinking about so deeply.

Luc says I'm in love with an idea of her that I've created over time, that's not it though, I just don't like not understanding things or people and will find myself overly fixated on it until I finally understand it completely.

She was my little mystery that I was able to figure out less and less as time passed, always switching things up suddenly just when I would start thinking I may have figured something out.

Which is exactly what happened last week, when she switched things up again, turning her music off for once and leaving the courtyard in a eerie silence that felt unfamiliar by then.

"She still hasn't moved." I said to Luc as I walked into our kitchen, only glancing at him as I passed the table he was sitting at as he read his book and sipped a coffee, his usual hangout spot on his free afternoons.

"Maybe she's sleeping." He spoke monotonously, peering over to me with bored eyes as he lifted his coffee mug to his lips. I shook my head at him as I poured myself another cup. "Who sleeps but doesn't move for over six hours?" Luc shrugged at me, already turning his attention back to his book. "Maybe she's dead then."

I pressed my lips together as I looked at him for another moment, wanting to come up with some kind of argument, but as said, she hadn't moved an inch from where she was lying on top of her bed with her back to the window in over six hours.

I went back to my room with my coffee and set it down on my desk, turning to the window that faced hers and watched her for another moment, trying to get my eyes to see if I could spot a lift in her shoulders or any other signs of her breathing.

There was a part of me silently pleading with her to turn around so I could get a look at her face but remained lying that way until that evening. I was going crazy by then with the idea that Luc had set in my head, unable to put my free day to any use as I spent most of my day going by the window to see if there were any changes.

By the time the sun was setting that evening I found myself sitting by my window with my desk chair, already having set my book aside long ago after my eyes kept wandering over to her room when I finally decided to do something, knowing there was no way in hell I was going to be able to sleep that night until I knew for sure that she was still alive.

"Hey." I called out quietly at first, waiting to see if any response would come from her before trying again, louder this time. "Hey. Pssst!"

I felt like I saw a movement in her shoulder and leaned forward in my seat, poking my head out of window then. "Hey, lady that has been in her bed all day, I mean you."

There was still no movement from her for another moment until she lifted her head from her pillow suddenly, staring at the wall in front of her as I let out another: "Pssst!" She turned around as she sat up, locking eyes directly with me as she leaned on her hands.

I jerked my head back for a moment, not having expected her to give me the hard stare that she was, looking at me for the first time then since she had moved in six months earlier.

She didn't say anything as she kept her eyes on me, only giving me a blank face as I leaned forward again and gave her my best attempt at a friendly smile as my nerves began to rise. "You alright over there? I was starting to think you might be dead."

She only furrowed her eyebrows at me for a second, still not having blinked as she stared over at me and brought her hand up slowly, giving me a small thumbs up before turning away again and dropping back down into the position she had spent the entire day in already.

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as I leaned back in my seat again, relieved that she was alive after all but frustrated that I was right back where we had started. I stayed sitting there like that until I heard my stomach grumble, having skipped dinner that evening and looked over my shoulder at the clock on my wall. There was still half an hour left until the food stand down the road closed, just enough time for me to run down there but not be in the bracket of rude customer that shows up last minute.

I gave her one last glance as I stood up, calling out to Luc then as I went to get my wallet and shoes. "I'm gonna go grab a bite downstairs, you want anything?"

"No, not today my friend." I heard him reply in his French accent from our living room down the hall, calling out to him one last time as I pulled the door shut behind me. "Alright, be back in a min!"

I couldn't help but rush as I headed to grab some food, making sure to grab a few extra burritos to take back home with me, somehow convinced that I would miss something if I stayed away for too long.

The hurry turned out to be for nothing when I got back since she of course hadn't moved an inch.

I looked down to the extra burritos in the bag in my hand, not sure if I should actually do what I was about to do but figured in the end that I didn't have much to lose at that point.

I whistled over to her as I leaned out of my window again, swinging the bag in my hand a few times as I aimed, throwing the food into her room successfully then just as she was sitting back up in her bed.

She watched the bag of burritos fly in through her window, following it with her eyes as it landed on the ground in front of her bed with a thud and kept her gaze for a moment before looking over to me with the same blank expression as earlier, once again staring at me in silence as I smiled at her. "You should at least eat something."

She stayed as she was for an uncomfortable length of time, her blank look slowly turning to a scowl before she eventually climbed out of her bed slowly came over to her window, still scowling at me as she pulled her curtains shut. "They better be poisoned at least."

I guffawed as I stood staring at her now darkened window, no less concerned for her than I was before then.

She kept her curtain shut until the next day, revealing that the burrito had in fact been eaten as the wrapper was still on her nightstand and she was back to her normal ways, filling the courtyard with music from Canned Heat and Kool and the Gang as she moved through her apartment once again ignoring my existence.

It wasn't until a few days later that I was confronted with another one of her hard stares even if it was only fleeting this time. Luc and I were just coming out of the local grocery shop having collected some things for the week when she came around the corner and right towards us, not having noticed us yet as Luc and I both stopped walking together.

She looked like she was on a mission as she rushed past us to head inside, stopping in her tracks suddenly then once she was in front of the door and looked towards a man that was coming down the sidewalk from the other direction. "Shit." She spoke quietly under her breath as she spun on her heel, looking directly at Luc and me with a hard stare for a second before walking past us again, heading back where she came from before she was stopped again by another man that looked like he belonged to the other guy and was now approaching from the other side.

You could see a flash of panic go over her eyes as she glanced back over her shoulder, making one last turn towards the street then try to make an escape that way.

It seemed hopeless though as a car pulled up in front of her, blocking her path as the two men approached and surrounded her, silently forcing her into the backseat of the car as they got in on either side of her before one of them gave the driver a single nod and they all left together.

"C'est quoi ce bordel?" Luc looked over at me, saying what I was thinking as we watched the car speed down the road.

What the fuck?

"I was wondering the same thing."

Neither of us seemed able to move as we continued staring down the road long after it was out of sight before finally making our way back to the apartment, theorizing what all of that could have been about.

Our questions were only added to as we sat on our balcony together the next evening and shared a joint, our way of bringing the day to an end, occasionally looking over to her still dark apartment and continuing to wonder where she could be or if we should maybe call the police.

What would we say though?

"Hello, our neighbor that we have never spoken to willingly got into a car with some scary looking guys yesterday. "

?

A car pulled into our courtyard just as we were halfway through our joint and beginning to feel that state of relaxation that's accompanied by the perfect touch of silly humor, quickly snapping out of then as I recognized the car and one of the guys from the day before as he got out to open the back door, pulling her limp body out of the backseat and dumping her there before returning back to the passenger seat then.

Whoever these guys were, they weren't good and they didn't seem to give any shits if anyone knew what they were up to.

I placed a hand on Luc's chest, pushing him back against our wall as I did the same, hiding ourselves out of their view as the car left again, leaving her behind exactly where he had left her.

Luc and I both knew better than to rush down, rather waiting together for a moment before he leaned forward slightly, poking his head over the railing to make sure the coast is clear as he spoke quietly. "I'm guessing we're going to go check on her?"

He was a firm believer of 'mind your business and don't take on anymore than you need to' but he also knew me well enough to know there was no way in hell I was just going to leave her down there, following me then as I headed back into our apartment.

"Jesus Christ." I let out a little gasp once we were down in the courtyard and were standing by her, kneeling down then to get a better look at her face, swollen and bruised from one hell of a beating, giving her a light shake after a moment then.

She was out cold though, only moving her head to the other side to reveal a split lip. "Check her purse for some keys." I said to Luc as I pointed to the bag by her feet, trying to get the panic that was rising in me to go back down so I could keep a clear head. As clear as I could in my state at least.

"No keys. And I don't think we should call the police either." Luc returned to our earlier thoughts, still holding her purse in one hand as he then held a handful of I.d.'s out to me with the other. I took them, leafing through them for a moment before I looked back down at her, still trying to decide what to do before I put the I.d.'s in my pocket and bent back down to her, grabbing her shoulders as I spoke to Luc. "Let's get her upstairs."

He followed my lead, grabbing her feet and hoisting her up with me, carrying her up the four flights to our apartment then as he cursed to himself under his breath.

That was all the help we was willing to give me though, returning to his ways of minding his own business as if his own life depended on it, leaving me with her in the living room and retreating to his room for the night as soon as we had her on our couch. "Let me know if she dies."

I dropped down on the armchair next to her and reached for the I.d.'s in my pocket, looking over them more intently this time.

There were 8 of them, each with the same image of her but with different names and birth dates ranging between the years of 1949-1951.

I wondered which one was her real one, if it was even really there, any of the names she was carrying suited her in it's own way. Ruby, Daphne, Annabell, Brooklyn, Janet, Joan, Helena, Mila.

I put them back in her purse eventually, hoping our snooping wouldn't be noticeable, and turned my TV on, trying to will myself to stay awake as I switched through the channels trying to find a station that hadn't stopped broadcasting for the night already.

I don't know how long I made it before dozing off in the arm chair, the only sign still coming from her being alive were her shallow breaths.

I ripped my eyes open at the unfamiliar feeling of something cold and sharp getting pressed into my throat sometime later and tried pulling back when I was looking directly back at her as she knelt down in front of me, glaring as she held what seemed to be a knife up to me. "Who the fuck are you and why am I locked in your apartment?"

She kept the blade where it was, ignoring my panicked flinch then as I brought my hands up, trying to show my innocence as I widened my eyes at her. "I'm your neighbor. I found you in the courtyard earlier and you looked like you could use some help." I pointed down the hallway as I continued to what seemed to be me pleading for my life as she hardened her gaze on me and leaned closer. "And the door's locked 'cause that's what people do at night, the keys are hanging right by the door. You can leave anytime."

She didn't move as she stared at me in silence before suddenly dropping the knife from my throat and taking a step back as she reached into her back pocket, pulling said keys out then and holding them up next to her head. "I know, I already found them, still doesn't answer how the fuck I got in here though." She pointed at me with the knife, giving me a small up and down with the blade as she raised her eyebrows. "No offense but I doubt you got me up here on your own."

"My roommate helped me." I shook my head as I gave her a pleading look, still holding my hands up. "We really mean you no harm, the opposite rather."

She furrowed her eyebrows as she gave me a contemplative look, keeping her gaze on me then as she gradually made her way past me and out of the living room. "The burrito place down on Grand Avenue is better just so you know."

That was all she said as she made her way out of the apartment, taking our knife with her and leaving me as I sat frozen in the armchair, dumbfounded over the whole exchange that had just taken place.

She was already back in her apartment by the time I went into my room finally, disappearing into her bathroom for quiet some time before heading to her bed where I had a perfect view of her from where I was lying in mine, noticing my knife on her night stand in the seconds before she reached for her light and his herself from my view for the night.

It was still there when I returned home from work the next afternoon, having left the shop in the hands of our summer help for the evening as I desperately needed some more sleep.

I dropped down onto my bed right when I got home kicking my shoes off behind me then as I pulled my pillow up under my face, turning my gaze to the window more out of habit than anything at that point. The knife was the first thing I noticed before my gaze wandered up to where she was sitting cross legged on her bed with a magazine in front of her but with her gaze fixed on me.

I blinked at her in surprise for a second, not sure if I was actually seeing right or was just delirious from exhaustion after several days of restless sleep. But no, she was in fact staring at me, and not scowling either this time, giving me the slightest hint of a grin as she climbed off of her bed and came over to her window.

She didn't say anything until I got up from my own bed and was standing by my window, leaning out to me then. "Thanks for the knife and everything else by the way."

I nodded at her, feeling tongue tied in that moment as we seemed to have switched roles as she kept her gaze friendly and fixated on me. "You busy or do you wanna come hang out?"

I was suddenly wide awake, giving her a small nod as I stepped back. "Be over in a minute."

I left my room to disappear out of her view before bending over as I let out a deep breath, trying to get my shit together before I went over there.

I took my time, not only because my feet didn't want to move any faster but because I didn't want to show up at her door panting like a loser after going down and up four flights of stairs to get to her place.

Her apartment door was open by the time I got there, filling the hallway with the scent of lemongrass and weed as it wafted out of her apartment, but she was nowhere in sight.