Tanya was an amazing dancer. Sean, sitting in the audience, didn't know anything about dance, of course. But he knew that when Tanya was on stage he couldn't stop watching her. She seemed to have total control over her body, often bending and stretching into impossibly graceful poses and lines that were simply breathtaking. Sean was mesmerized. Of course, it helped that Tanya was very beautiful. Sean thought she must be Latina, with that beautiful mocha-colored skin that always looks smooth, and those strikingly large brown eyes. And an amazing dancer's body—taut and muscled, but still tantalizingly feminine. Unattainable beauty, Sean thought. The kind of beauty that he knew was beyond the reach of an average guy like him.
Waiting for the show to begin, Sean mused that he was not the type of guy who normally goes to a dance show. But Sean's cousin Jeff was seeing a girl who dances with Tanya, so Sean tagged along. Sean had seen her dance at a previous show and had actually met Tanya a few times, through Jeff and his girlfriend. It's not like Sean really knew Tanya, but they'd been introduced once and had been around each other on occasion. And here's what really killed him. Despite that unattainable beauty, she had the sweetest personality. Totally down to earth. Shy, even, as far as Sean could tell. When she was alone she could almost blend into the background. Well, maybe that's an exaggeration. Pretty girls can never really blend in. But she was a bit of a wallflower who sometimes seemed to stand on the sidelines, hesitant to approach a group. But as soon as she got near friends, her face lit up with a gorgeous smile, and those big brown eyes seemed to glimmer—no social awkwardness here. She had made eye contact with Sean that first time we met, and Sean's knees actually got a little shaky! So, when Jeff asked Sean to go to see his girlfriend's dance show, Sean agreed to go, knowing that Tanya would be performing.
While the crowd milled around looking for seats, Sean looked at the flower he held in his right hand. He rolled the stem between his fingers. What was it? A red carnation, maybe? Not a rose, but Sean didn't know anything about flowers. As he watched the flower spin in his grip, Sean wondered why he had bought it. In the lobby before the show they were selling flowers and Sean just drifted over to the table and bought one, almost without thinking about it.
"It's for your girlfriend," Sean lied, when Jeff asked why he had bought it. "You should get her one, too. I think that's what you're supposed to do at a dance show." Sean nodded to the parents and friends buying flowers for the dancers. In truth, Sean didn't know why he bought it. He wanted to give it to Tanya, but he doubted he had the courage.
Halfway through the second song of the show, Sean knew there was no way he could talk to Tanya, let alone give her the flower. She was the star of the show and even though there were a bunch of girls (and a few guys) with her, she completely stood out—Sean barely even noticed the people around her. Judging by the cheers, there would be a lot of people talking to her after the show, and he was too shy to approach her like that. Still, Sean just got lost watching her dance. When the song ended and the lights went out he just sort of sat there staring for a few seconds, then shook his head as if he'd just woken up. He turned on his cell phone and used the glow to look at the program—Tanya was in 4 more dances. As the show continued Sean just sat there counting down the songs until her next number.
The whole night, it was the same thing over and over. Sean sat there fidgeting until her song came up, and then he would just lean back and let Tanya sweep him along with her, almost in a trance. When she finished, it was like getting jolted back to reality, and Sean had to remind himself to applaud so he didn't look like he'd fallen asleep.
But Tanya's last performance was different. She had a dance by herself. The dance—and the performer—was the most beautiful thing Sean had ever seen! It was a slow, sad song, and Tanya poured herself into it. At one point Sean thought she might actually cry, and that actually caused Sean's eyes to well up a little. It was pretty embarrassing, and it snapped him back to reality for a moment, but Sean realized it was so dark in the auditorium that nobody could see him anyway. But the moment was lost and the song ended, and Sean kicked myself for being so sentimental and stupid. How could she have that kind of power over him?
After the show, all of the dancers came out to see their friends and family. Sean slipped away from his cousin and moved through the crowd a little. He saw Tanya come out and get hugs from several people. Two were probably her mother and sister (same beautiful skin and gorgeous eyes) but Sean didn't recognize any of the others. He had been hoping to see someone he knew so he'd have an excuse to be near her. No such luck.
"Nice flower, dumbass." It was Jeff. "Still haven't decided which guy you'll give it to?" Jeff gave Sean a playful little punch on the arm.
Sean blushed. He looked from Jeff to the flower he was holding loosely in his right hand, then back to Tanya. She was stepping away from most of her crowd of admirers to talk to one of the other dancers.
Now or never!
"Be right back." Sean said, walking toward Tanya, who was facing away from him and talking to the other dancer. "Excuse me, Tanya?"
She turned around and Sean knew he had made two mistakes. First, that stupid flower. Tanya was holding a HUGE bouquet and two smaller ones. What on earth was she going to do with one wilting little flower? His second mistake was looking in her eyes. Those big brown pools swallowed him up and he was struck mute.
"Yes?" Tanya asked, eyebrows raised. Not angry, but definitely surprised! And probably wondering when he was going to say something. Standing there silently and looking—he could only assume—like a total idiot, Sean racked his brain for something to say, anything to say, to try and salvage his dignity. He stuck out his right hand, holding the flower.
"The show was good."
What? The show was good? That's the best you can come up with?
The corners of her mouth tuned up a bit in the faintest hint of a smile, but she didn't really react in any other way. Blushing furiously and looking down to avoid those dangerous eyes of hers, Sean turned and walked away.
What on earth was I thinking? I'll never even be able to be around her now without being completely humiliated!
"Wait! Sean, right?" Tanya called out. Sean turned to see her walking toward him, smiling completely now. "Thanks for the flower. You're not leaving yet, are you?"
* * * * * * * *
The next couple of hours were a blur.
Late dinner with a few of the other dancers and their boyfriends? Sure! A ride home? No problem.
Suddenly, Sean was at the door of Tanya's apartment wondering what the hell he should do now.
The evening had gone too well—that has to be good enough for a kiss, right?
But Sean was terrified.
