James clicked the Sign On, settling back in his black leather chair, staring at the monitor on his iMac as the internal noise and sound of the telephone connecting to the Internet played through his speakers, James all the while thinking about who he was to be this evening. He had been using the Internet for nearly 6 years now, and had a pretty good understanding as to who people really were when he talked to them.
Fit, young, single blond cheerleaders usually meant teenage boy or married men, not that he criticised them, hey, he had been his fair share of blond single cheerleaders lusting after a 'normal' man to satisfy 'her' desires. He tended to avoid the School Girl rooms as that just lead to trouble, and usually just sat in the chat rooms watching the world pass by, reading profiles, occasionally sending a message out but rarely getting a message from anyone he cared to talk to.
A sad fact was, he thought watching the connection finish and the welcome screen come up, was that he tended to spend 70% of his time talking to single guys, probably a good 20% talking to single 'girls' and if he was as smart as he thought he was, that last part talking to actual women. And more than once he had thought if all that time talking to men was making him a bit odd; He smiled, he was odd anyway.
James saw known of his friends were online and shook his head, another night alone for him, he thought. He clicked on the chat room key and followed his way through to the private chat rooms, basically, an area for people to talk about their sexual kinks and desires. It always brought a smile to his face seeing the amount of guys who wanted to be dominated and led around by women, peed on by women, treated like shit generally. If the feminists groups could only spend more time in here, they would know they had won. Still, AOL was a place to escape reality, he felt like being a school girl tonight, see if he could tease some bloke into revealing himself to her, then maybe report him or just wind him up.
The BBW room, he saw scrolling up the room names, single unhappy people, he thought. He had never visited this particular room; Neither Big, not considerably beautiful and certainly not a woman, well, not tonight anyway. He clicked on it anyway, bored and desperate for a chat and entered, staring at the names scrolling down the screen. It took him by surprise the colour and first, and general atmosphere of the room, all these women so happy and greeting, sending those xxx kisses and hugs, so accepting of others.
James usually split those on AOL into two groups, perverted men and others. Despite trying to be part of the others, he was a male and had been called perverted on here more than once but never tried to be that way, to him, he couldn't see the point on lying on here if he was ever to meet them. He wasn't a good liar and felt this reflected when he talked to people. Most called him a decent guy they'd like to meet. But the sad fact was that all his life, he had only had one long-term relationship, and that had ended badly.
James, to coin a phrase, wore his heart on his sleeve, he went into all relationships with the intention of them being the one, not content or satisfied with short term flings or casual sex. He knew it sounded clichΕ½d, and had been told that when he had said that to people online, that the idea of casual sex was a turn off to him. And that was partly true, he did have needs he had to satisfy, sadly relying on his hand now to please him, but despite the possibility for several one night stands and flings, he couldn't bring himself to go through with it.
Fear, perhaps, fear of the consequences, that they would consider him a let down. But in his heart and soul, he knew there was more to it than fear. To James, sex was special, despite peer pressure from those around him to just do it, get more sex, he didn't want to. He wanted to be with someone special, some one who meant something in his heart he could share himself with that person.
Which was why he had only been in one long-term relationship, he thought to himself, his head leaning on his hand, watching the numerous conversations going on in the chat room. He looked at those entering and leaving quickly, and those that stayed for a while before leaving. Most were male screen names like, BIGDAVEBIGCOCK or STUDSTEVE, typical names but ones that probably had met and slept with a lot of girls off here. Would that help him? LARGEONEJAMES perhaps, did women really like that.
He reached for the glass of water on his desk and stopped, his eyes looking at the screen name that had just entered, XXXLINDA44XXX. A woman, he thought, ok, but why had that caught his attention. He moved the mouse and clicked on her name, bringing up a message box and typing in hello, hoping she wouldn't be turned off by his rather colourful? Youthful? Profile, one he had created through boredom.
The lady replied a moment later, 'Hello to you'.
James read over her profile. Like those in the room, she was a BBW that declared you either liked her or not but asked not to be offended because of her size. James understood that, as a kid he had been a bit on the larger size but thankfully had grown upwards, his body shaping out nicely. He wasn't thin, but wasn't large, what he considered medium size, sadly, not one that attracted girls when he went out.
She loved cats, had a daughter and was single. A single, older mother, in 6 years of Internet talking, he had never spoken to single mothers, well, not honest ones anyway. Most single 'mothers' desperate for an affair turned out to be married fathers in search of porn. But for some reason, she seemed genuine, he considered for a moment that large woman normally didn't lie; he shook his head. One thing he had always been taught was to be tolerant of others, show them respect if you expected to be shown it. She was a large lady, but she was honest, loved cats, which he himself did, and seemed like a nice person.
James began to speak to her, not as his usual flirty self, the one that he guessed most girls on the Internet had seen and read before, and from guys much better at this than him. She asked his age, he gave it and she was hesitant at first, there was a sizable age gap between them, she told him she was 44, he was 20, and normally he might have walked away then but something was drawing him to this woman, her honesty, her personality.
He considered these his best qualities, his honesty and, not charm, but he knew in general he had a decent personality, one which people felt they could trust. When he saw this in others, he was drawn to that, he connected to those qualities in a person. And despite being a BBW, a married mum who was twice his age, he felt himself being drawn to her, a connection developing he had only felt once with Kelly his former girl friend.
When he glanced at the clock at the top of the computer screen, he realised he had been talking for over 3 hours, and it was now 1.16 am. But when she continued to ask him questions about his past, he couldn't help but notice, finding out facts about this woman. Aspects about her he couldn't help but find cute or alluring. If it was possible, he felt he was falling in love with this single mother, despite his pre-conceptions at the start of the evening about her size and personality, she was a decent, ordinary woman, he was a decent, ordinary woman, and then the big question came.
DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE she asked. Ordinarily, James sent out a fake picture unless he felt he could trust them. He felt he could trust her, and for only the third time in 6 years, sent his picture to her, the one taken a month earlier, one he felt showed the best side of himself. She would now either walk away or like it, but for the first time, it was out of his hands. A few second later, he received an email with a picture of her.
