The Plough and the Stars
© 2018 1r1shman101
Note to Readers: This is one where you're really better off reading
Part 1: The Studio
first. Much of what happens here doesn't make real sense without it. Plus, you'll be missing a really good hand job.
*****
"See, the, thing is," Tess says, "Irish girls are Goddesses of the hand job."
We're sitting, me, Tess and Lizzie, in the Plough and the Stars, a bar on Mass Ave in Cambridge that's been a student dive since the 1960's. It's the first time the three of us have been together since my night modelling at their studio. Sitting at a booth with a pitcher of beer, Tess beside me on one side, Lizzie sitting across. And naturally, given what had happened three nights ago, the subject was hand jobs.
"It's the Catholic thing," she went on. "We're brought up, any kind of sexual anything is a sin, except two married people doing it for the express purpose of tryin' to procreate. And I don't know how much even they're supposed to enjoy it. I'm pretty sure if they like it too much, the whole thing slides over into sin. And birth control, Jesus, don't even think about it. I don't suppose a feller can even pull out and come on a girl's stomach without putting both their immortal souls in danger."
"Jesus," Lizzie half-whistles. "So, where's a hand job come in?"
"Well, sure, there's a hierarchy of sin, in't there? Your hand job's just a venial sin, I'm thinking. Hell, all us Irish bints think that. It's all outside the business, y'know. You get to stickin' it inside a girl, you cross over to mortal right away. Then god forbid you get hit by a truck before you get to Confession, you go straight to hell, you don't pass go, and you burn in flames for all eternity."
"But, even then, there's a hierarchy of penetrations, ain't there? You put it in her mouth, that's a mortal sin, but maybe not so bad a one. You get flames a few degrees cooler maybe. But there's a debate among us women about the other two possibilities: I mean, is it worse, theologically, you stick it in a girl's fanny, coz that's the procreative act outside of marriage, or if you try to stuff it up her bum, just because that's where poop comes from and it's just generally disgusting?"
"I vote for the vagina," I say. "Theologically."
"Yeah, well it's a iffy thing. Mostly the girls who don't fancy the rear entry'll tell you that's the worse sin. But I think that's just coz they don't like it. Not every girl does, y'know."
"So, the most of us grow up givin' hand jobs by the dozens to the fellers. Every Irish girl's got a clean soul and strong wrists."
"Well," I said. "You do give a good one."
"Well, give your cousin some credit. It was when she was pressin' down yer bottom there, that yeh came like a fookin' faucet, boyo."
I nod, lift my glass to Lizzy. My balls all but aching from the memory the two of them touching me.
Liz smiles back, drinks.
I feel the strain between us.
Come inside me, little cousin. It's alright, I want you to.
Beneath he table, Tess has reached over to give a little squeeze between my legs. Under the fabric, I'm already reacting. But her hand is already gone.
"Hey, Lizzie, luv, come over this side, willya?"
Liz drinks more, then gets up, comes around and slides in beside me, sandwiching me between her and Tess.
"Here," Tess says, half-audibly over the voices of students and Van Morrison on the juke box. "Watch this." Then slides her hand across my leg and pulls down my zipper with her thumb and forefinger. And then, with her forefinger only, fishes inside, finds the flap of my underwear, and then finds me. Hooks me like a fish and pulls me out into the atmosphere. Elapsed time: about four seconds.
"Jesus," I say and pull back involuntarily within the narrow confines of two girls, a table and a booth. I push Tess's hand away and stuff my half hard member back inside. "C'mon, people will ..."
"Ah, only if you're loud and make a row about like. Like you're doing now."
I look around. The bar is full of Wednesday night students. Nobody looking at us. My dick has done its appearance and panicked retreat unnoticed.
Even so.
"Jesus, Tess," I say.
"Ah, don't be such a bollix, Tommy. I told you, we're Goddesses. Been doin' since I was just a lass (though of age, o'course, she laughs), and I can get a feller off unnoticed under any table."
I look at her, at Lizzie beside me. I do not feel like daring a Murphy right now. Or a Riordan.
While Tess, in an expansive mood, leans back along the booth against the wall. Grins. Says, "Sean McFain, for example, one of me favorites. In CCD class. That's the Confraternity of Catholic Doctrine - for you Protestants, that's night classes on the catechism for us heathens who didn't go to Catholic Secondary. That's high school, inn't, for you?"
Liz murmurs yes. I am aware of her shoulder against mine. Her leather jacket against my shirt. The light, incessant pressure of another human body against mine.
"So, basement of the Church, I'm sitting at this long card table with Sean and two other kids. And I'm bored to tears, been goin' to this crap for years and, like any good Irish girl, don't believe a word of it, so I reach over, unzip him, and pull out his dick for him.
Now, he was a good Catholic boy, Seannie. One of them been an altar boy all the way through school and, for all I know, still readin' the Epistles in Mass to this day. I doubt anybody'd ever touched his dick for him but his ma to wash it. And, Christ, he damn near screamed. I says, "Shut the fuck up, Sean, if yeh know what's good for yeh." And by now, I got me hand on him, he's hard as a rock, and he's a kid y'know, the two of us just weeks away from getting' out of Secondary and never havin' to go to this stupid class again. I mean, virgin birth, can you believe it? But isn't he so shocked to have me grabbin' his little Johnson, I didn't give him five strokes and he shoots off like fuckin' fireworks and half stands up, near knocks over the table.
"The priest up front is talkin' about the Beatitudes or some fooking thing. He looks at us. The other kids look at us. And I'm sitting there, lookin' all virtuous but with me hand still on Sean's pecker down under and Sean's just jizzed the whole bottom of the table. And I'm thinkin', Oh Jesus, we're fucked to hell now and what'll me ma say? And doesn't little Catholic Seannie just look at the priest like a fookin' trooper and, "Cramp," he says and sits back down. And the old priest and everybody else in the room none - including the two kids sittin' right next to us - any the wiser. So I give him a little squeeze and just tuck the wee feller back in where it belongs. And we go on learnin' about the virtues of chastity.
"He was a champ, that kid. I was as proud of him as if I was his own mother."
And, goddess-like, forms a small ring with two fingers and moves them up and down through air.
"So, tell us, Tommy. When'd you get your first hander?"
Beside me, Liz lifts an eyebrow.
"In college. I think."
"You think. You don't know?" Liz asks. Three beers in, her voice has become more languorous. She leans into me. I feel her breast through her coat against my arm, her warm breath on my cheek.
"Well I dunno if it counts. It started as a hand job. But then it turned into a blow job. At the end."
"So some girl wanked you, but ended up suckin' you off?" Tess asks. I have never met a woman who talked so casually filthy. Even with my "wee feller" back safely inside my pants, she was making me hard without touching me. Shave-headed, small tit, freckle sprayed girl. And on the other side of me: Lizzie - her somewhat more capacious breasts assaulting me through leather and my thin, cotton shirt.
It's alright, Tommy, I want you to.