True Love Never Dies

He just couldn't stop thinking about her...to him she was perfect. Finally he had found someone to rock his world...and she did...she really did. When he was alone he thought about her body....how he ached to touch her...to feel her warmth...her energy and to look into her eyes...it was heaven...pure heaven.

Don had met Lila while on holiday just after his divorce and that was four years ago now. But he knew...he had known after the first conversation when she had let him inside her...into her mind...her personal space. She was the most sexually open woman he had ever met and spent time with. Right away he knew that she would be the sort of challenge he needed. She had a heart of gold and was very capable...the sort of person who didn't need to lean on anyone. In fact, he found that she was strong enough for him to lean on if he needed. But he was so happy right now...she made him feel so satisfied, that he felt like the strongest, sexiest man alive...she made him feel like a god...and she was his goddess...his fantasy...his reality...his life.

She had been a little reluctant to begin a relationship with him as she did not trust easily. But with each mind-blowing orgasm he had given her, her walls of doubt had come crashing down one by one. His mind often wandered to the times when his mouth was buried as deeply inside her as possible. How he loved to suck and nibble on her clit...to hear her moans of pleasure as he brought her closer and closer to orgasm...only to back off again until she calmed down. Then he continued just where he had left off until she was back on the edge of cumming again. Again and again he would do that, delighting in the sounds she would make...the way her soft moans would turn into hungry growls...then yelps...and eventually she was begging him not to stop and almost screaming in agony and ecstasy. His favorite times were when she would say his name over and over again. To hear this woman calling out...his name on her lips...this turned him on like nothing else had ever done before.

He constantly thought about what she was doing when they were apart. Was she happy? Was she busy? Was she thinking of him? These questions buzzed around his head all the time. He thought about her cooking or her face as she was waking up from a dreamy sleep. These thoughts amazed him with their intensity and intimacy. It was so unlike him to fantasize about a woman brushing her teeth or doing the grocery shopping...but fantasize he did...all the time...wishing he could be a part of her everyday world. She was always so busy...he imagined that she would probably not have any time for him anyway. Her energy levels were so high that she probably couldn't sit still long enough for him to ever get a really good look at those sexy eyes. He knew that her restlessness would drive him crazy after a while. Still he wished she could see what he saw...what he knew deep inside his heart.

They were perfect for each other in so many ways...a perfect match. But she only wanted him for a little while...not for ever. The knowledge of that hurt him very badly but he loved her too much to walk away. He knew how short life could be and how quickly opportunities could slip away. He had tried to tell her so many times to follow her heart and take a chance but she was very stubborn and would not be pushed. He had finally accepted that he would forever be standing in the sidelines and although his pride was in tatters, he still continued to love her because a part of her was inside him...in his heart and soul. But neither of them had any idea what life had in store for them. That is until that fateful day their world turned upside down.

Sunday, June 30th had started off fairly normally. After waking up and doing some chores Don had gone to visit a friend and then come back home for lunch. It was then that he had begun to feel terrible. His head ached and he felt suddenly weak like a new born foal. Finally he gave up and crashed on his bed for a midday nap. Two hours later after some really horrible dreams he woke up feeling no better. His head had stopped aching but he still had a hard time staying upright and still felt weak. The fact that he could not explain why he felt the way he did...gradually had him worrying...not for himself, but instead he worried if something had happened to Lila. They had a way of feeling when the other was down or hurt...like a psychic connection which was both beautiful and disturbing. Right now it was disturbing the hell out of him.

The first thing he did was call every hospital he could think of within possibility. Before every call he hoped desperately that he was wrong. By the third call his heart sank as his worst fears were confirmed. She was hurt badly enough to be in hospital so it couldn't be good news. When he asked about her condition he was instantly reminded of his lowly position in her life. Was he family? What could he possibly answer to that question? When he spoke the truth he was put in his place and told that only family members had access to that sort of information. Feeling lower than dirt, he began what seemed like a lifetime of waiting. He thought about going to her but knew that if she was well enough to know he had been there, she would not appreciate it. He did not want to deal with questions from her family as he was sure they knew nothing whatsoever about him. It was as if he did not exist at all...

He was only half watching the news when he saw what looked to be like half of her car. It was so badly crushed that he hardly recognized it. But he heard her name and that was all he was able to take in. Now he knew why his head had ached earlier...she was hurt and by the look of that car...it was pretty bad. He felt so powerless and backed into a corner. He wanted to run to her but that would be no good at all and raise too many questions. He decided to stay where he was and give it a little time. The hours dragged by and then another day turned into night but still he did not hear from her. Then he heard from someone who knew of a friend who had found out some news of her condition. She was in a coma with suspected head injuries and doctors were doing all they could for her.

He was distracted at work and he was irritable. He ached for her...to see her and feel her and hear her voice. He loved her more than ever with such desperation to be by her side right now. He was in a very bad way and felt a sense of panic which constantly nagged at him day and night. By the fifth day he could stand the waiting no longer and he jumped into his car to go to her. He couldn't even remember what sort of bullshit he told the nurses to allow him access to her but finally he was standing by her bedside. She looked frail and was hardly recognizable with all the bandages wrapped around her head. He fought back tears as he stared down at her sleeping body. He gently took her hand in his and examined the fingers that he loved. These were the same fingers that had stroked him with such tenderness in the past. He felt utterly lost.

He began to speak quietly to her with reassurance he didn't even feel. He made a joke or two so she would know it was him and once or twice he could swear he felt her fingers move in his hand. He couldn't imagine ever loving anyone more than he loved this woman. Suddenly he felt as though he had absolutely no right to be here with her and he began to get nervous. He started to look around to make sure nobody was watching him with her and his nervousness grew even more. Eventually he placed her hand back where it had been and bent down to kiss her cheek. He wanted to feel her face...to cup it in his hands like he did when he kissed her mouth. But there was no skin, just bandages and tubes and electrical equipment. He almost cried out with frustration as he clenched both of his hands, rolling them into tight fists by his side...getting ready to fight...

He wanted to cry...he was crying but he knew he must leave now before anyone became suspicious. With one more longing look at her he turned and left. He held on until he got to his car and there in the darkness, he let go of everything he had kept bottled up inside him for days now. He was bawling like a baby as he sat in his car, unable to start it and drive away. Maybe he could stay here for the night to be close to her. But that was not a good idea and he had to go to work in the morning. He drove home with teary eyes and an aching in his heart and throat, restricting his breathing. His mind was in a fog as he gripped the steering wheel with all his might. Once home he hit the bottle with a vengeance...not stopping until he had drunk the last drop.

He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or his lack of sleep which gave him a fuzzy head the next day but he got through work in one piece. He was restless and knew that he would make another late night visit to see her again tonight. When he arrived at the hospital the nurses practically swooped on him like birds to breadcrumbs. Apparently there had been some signs of movement since his visit the night before and this was an encouraging development. They almost pushed him towards her room this time. When his eyes focused on her he thought she looked a bit better. There was a little more color to the bits of skin he could see. Again he took her hand and when he talked to her he was definitely sure that he felt movement in her fingers. He even thought he saw her mouth move. Suddenly her eyes twitched a few times and then opened.

He almost fell down as her eyes focused on his. He couldn't move or call out to anyone, he was like frozen in shock. His mouth slowly moved into a smile as hers did the same and they stayed that way for what seemed like an hour. She must have moved some part of the equipment because it started to make high pitched sounds, alerting the staff. Instantly they were not alone anymore as nurses buzzed around them. Now her family would get notified and he needed to leave quickly. He promised her he would be back as soon as was possible and then left after squeezing her hand and her doing the same to his. This time it was tears of relief that filled his eyes and ran down his face. Finally he felt hopeful and the feeling was pure joy.

He rang from work the next day and spoke briefly to her nurse. He could visit again tonight but she was still very weak and could not speak. When he got to her bedside she greeted him with a big smile and a twinkle in her eyes. She squeezed his hand tighter than last time and now he could talk to her about everything that was in his heart and she could answer him by blinking her eyes. He spoke of his love for her and how he had felt when he thought he might have lost her for ever. Her grip tightened on his hand at that and he felt there was so much she wanted to say to him. He didn't stay too long so as not to exhaust her but he felt his spirits lifted and she seemed in a similar state. He left her on a definite high.

Nothing in the world could have prepared him for the shock he received the next day. A fatal blood clot on the brain had claimed her life and she had passed away some time that morning. He felt gutted...shattered and numb. How could it be when she had begun all signs of recovering? It just did not make any sense but then...life...and death often didn't. He had trouble accepting that she was gone because it felt like she was there with him still. He had lost all the hopes and plans for a future with her but he had not lost her. She was inside him...in his heart...in his soul...a part of what made him who he was now. He felt like a different person for having known her and shared what they were allowed to share together. He had learned so much and he could feel her with him all the time. If neither time nor distance could keep them apart then death certainly wouldn't either. Of that he was sure. He finally came to realize that people come and go but true love never dies.