Total Commitment

My girlfriend and I quickly went in an interesting direction with our relationship. She wore the pants, and I didn't. This wasn't something which took much initial evolution, we met through a mutual friend who thought we would be perfect for each other. On our very first date, she said to me, "Some of my friends would say that I'm an acquired taste, but I would argue, that if you can't take me the way I am, then in the long term you are not going to work out." I asked what she meant by that and she said, "I like having a man around. It does feel right. But everyone says that a good relationship is all about meeting in the middle, compromise, and communication." She then flagged the waiter over and said, "Here is an example." She ordered dinner for both of us. She smiled and said, "I don't compromise. To be honest, I like not compromising. I usually don't even know I'm doing it, but when I am it is deliberate. I want what I want and what I don't want I don't put up with."

I told her, "Look, I'm always feeling like I'm dancing around. I've gone on dates where we negotiate some place we both like and then 5 minutes into the movie, park, sporting event or whatever she tells me she doesn't like it but then won't leave for whatever reasons. I hate that."

She smiled at me and said, "I can guarantee that won't happen with me."

For the next few months, our relationship was pretty much exactly this. When she decided I was moving in, I moved in. She went through my place and picked the few things she liked and told me to get rid of the rest." Her place was nicer and her stuff was nicer so this made sense.

While she definitely had been open from the first about how commanding she would be, there was a definite progression happening where she did things like hand me a list of chores and when they were to be done. I liked things clean so none of this was unreasonable. While some people might be unhappy with there being an unfairness to my doing all chores, she had been upfront about it being her way or the highway, so I was happy because it wasn't something unexpected.

My life was fairly simple around her. We had sex which matched her personality. Very much her on top, her show. It happened when and where she wanted. I didn't mind this even a tiny bit. I didn't have to read her moods and there was no undercurrent about my not being romantic. The few times I did go out of my way to be romantic she said, "If I want something I'll take it or buy it." as she threw my flowers in the garbage. Some people might see this as being mean but in her case, it was her wonderful clarity which made me quite happy with this situation.

My life was quite simple in that we were both into exercise so we did this together we both ran, did yoga, and worked out. Our travel was generally limited to nearby places to do one of these exercise things. Both of our ideal "Nights out" was sitting with a book, fucking, or my giving her a long massage. Distance travel wasn't a thing for either of us as we both had extreme travel childhoods as a common background. Neither of us could be certain of how many countries we had both been to before age 10.

I was just cleaning up dinner when she surprised me with a question instead of a command. "Would you mind giving up your finances to me?" I was more startled by it being a question than the question itself and I said as much, "I'm more curious as to why you have to ask?" She got a bit of a faraway look and said, "It's not the money. I've got piles. And, both of us earn more than we need. But well..." She got a faraway look and said, "Well.. It's about control."

I said, "Done. I trust you." There was definitely an emotional sexual aspect because less than 5 minutes later she was riding me hard and when she was extra exuberant she would strangle me with her hands. Normally, this was just enough pressure to make it extra clear as to who was on top, but tonight I was starting to see my vision darken. I put my hands on her wrists but she knocked them away. I just let myself go and I'm fairly certain I came harder than night than ever before. The only way to describe what she was doing was hate-fucking me. Even more, that night she would wake me up jerking me to hardness and ride me some more. On and off it was maybe 6 separate hard fucks.

In the morning I looked at my neck in the mirror and I could count the individual fingers and her thumbs in the bruising on my throat. Both of us could choose to work from home as much as we wanted and today was certainly one of those days. I transferred my bank balance over to her and had my work change the deposit details to her. Of course, she made no mention of how I would get money and I didn't ask.

A month later we were watching a movie when I just asked, "You get off on my not having any money." She looked at me for a bit and said, "Quite a bit." She then looked concerned which wasn't something she did often and I jumped in, "I'm not wanting to change it back. I just was curious."

She seemed quite happy with this and she started stroking me but wasn't going any further. This was a very common situation with her conversations; not just ones where she clearly had an agenda, but sometimes she would just be asking me about work, or even discussing a book we had read. She said, "I've generally been honest with you. But I have actually restrained my controlling side. No boyfriend has even come close to putting up with me to this point." I was breathless but could still sense this was important when I said, "I love your control. I love it so much that I feel guilty. I wonder if you ever want me to push back, to be the man, to be your equal." She stopped stroking me and said, "I would hate if you did those things." She then resumed stroking I said, "How have you been restraining yourself? The money thing?" She said, "I don't know what my limit is for control." I said, "You've got my money, you've got my income. And you've got my heart. I'm not sure what more there could be?"

She said, "Let's say you've had enough. You could walk out that door right now. Go stay at a friend's. Get your work to deposit your money back in your account and you will be back on your own two feet in a month or less."

I said, "Are you proposing some kind of bondage thing?" She said, "While that could be fun. That isn't what I want. I haven't really got a full picture. I just know I love this and I want more."

She then climbed on me and we weren't discussing rational things for the next hour.

The next morning we were lying in bed and I said, "I could quit my job." It took her a few beats to see where I was going and she said, "That would be cool" and that was done. I didn't even waste any time. I wrote an email on my phone to my work saying that life events more important than my work had come up and I was quitting with immediate effect. I handed her the phone and said, "It's for you to press send." She didn't even hesitate and sent it.

I pointed to my dick which was rock hard and said, "I should be freaking out right now but instead I'm about as aroused as possible. She then ran a wet finger along my dick and said, "Guess who literally gushed as they hit send."

This then kicked off a morning of fucking, taking pee and food breaks and fucking hard some more. Around noon she rolled off and went to her work. I just lay there and reflexively got up to work myself when I just laughed. Instead, I kicked off an exercise program which was another notch higher than usual because I now had the time.

I just came in from a run when I found her sitting at the table with a folder. She said, to me, "I've been worrying that we are on an edge. You are the perfect match for me. But I still want more. I'm sort of hoping that this is the point of no return. She then slid the papers over to me. The first one was a very high interest rate loan with a company which was her pet name for me. I said, "I don't understand, are you looking to give me an allowance through loans?" She licked her lips and said, "No, it isn't much money and it is a one-time thing, what I'm looking for is debt bondage. You were saying how you asked if you wanted me to lock you up. Well, this is better. Read it carefully." I then realized this was a form of student loan. This would mean it would never expire, and I would be fucked financially. Even worse it was 30% interest which was the legal limit in our region. I did some mental math and said, this more than doubles every 3 years. This is over 20k but why such a specific number?" She said, "I want you to go to school for me. I want you to take a massage therapist course. Your massages are good, but I want even better."

I thought that this was getting weird in a way which gave me feathers and I said, "When does the course start?" as I signed the loan documents. She smiled and said, "First class is tomorrow at 7 am." She then lifted up a backpack from under the table and said, "Here are all your textbooks and supplies. There is some study material you are supposed to have familiarized yourself with before tomorrow." Ironically, as I studied late into the night she came over and gave me a shoulder rub.

Over the next 6 months, I mostly attended academic parts of the course on anatomy and other health-related issues. This somewhat annoyed my girlfriend as she had hoped to benefit immediately. She then surprised me with another student loan document. I asked what course she was adding on and she said, "Cooking." And thus, I found my days entirely full. My cooking courses initially were at night, but we were happy as the rewards for both of us were immediate, my palate became much more sophisticated as I explored many different types of cooking. At the same time, I often had to cook two meals a night as one would be a repetitive one from my course where I cooked soup after soup after soup during the soup phase, while I also cooked a separate meal for her to eat.

Finally, I was in the part of the course where we were learning the physical parts of massage therapy. She was super happy as we explored Swedish, Deep tissue, stone, shiatsu, and others. The odd part was trying to pretend with my classmates to be enthusiastic about finding careers from our courses.

Using new fictitious student loans we significantly upgraded our home facilities, I could cook almost anything with our cooking supplies, and we had a full micro spa in a dedicated room.

This might seem somewhat onerous for some people, but my girlfriend's body was athletic perfection. We both stayed in very good shape, so I had the stamina to work her body hard, and she had the body I loved to explore. Plus, as she put it, I was a happy ending masseuse; except in my case, I loved the happy endings as well.

By the time my two years of school were up, I asked her one day, "My courses are just about to end which means I'm supposed to start paying my loans. How do you want to proceed with that? As you know the amounts have hit numbers where even with my old job I would have trouble even with the interest payments. The kitchen reno, was, to use a pun, icing on the cake."

She had mostly given up any pretence of not entirely controlling my life but this time she hesitated. She said, "I want to let them ride a bit. Let the interest build quite a bit. I will give you a pathetic amount of money and I want you to make a few payments, but fall way behind. I'm thinking when the time is right I can get a judgement against you. The interest keeps building, but you are entirely dependent on me from that point, not that you really have any options anymore. I would like it if you would write my loan company some nasty letters. They will add some colour to how aggressive I could be with garnishments. Say something about leaving the country or whatever."

I took a deep breath. While I was cool with this, the idea of a judgement against me just was unsettling; but I also found it freeing in a weird way. If she wanted me so dependent on her, then she also was in this for the long haul. In a perverse way, it seemed to make her as committed to this as I was. What made it more exciting was she had never even hinted at an out. She never threatened me as to what would happen if I left. But she had also never hinted that I could get out of this in any way.

She still managed to surprise me. The time a real-estate agent showed up to show her place. For a moment I wanted to start making sure they had the right place, but this was so her style that I just let them in.

I was fishing for information when I mentioned the agent to her. She said, "I could tell you where we are moving, but I won't."

I had a small fear that she may have had some weird intent to leave me behind, but I knew in my heart that this relationship was exactly what both of us wanted. The place sold and the movers came. This was a full-service move where we stayed in a hotel while they packed everything. She encouraged me to pack light. I had very little for the week we stayed at a rural hotel near the beach. I basically had swimsuits, shorts, t-shirts, sandals, underwear, and a hat.

As we packed our stuff into the car she asked me to only wear my tight small bathing suit. I, of course, complied wondering with anticipation as to what she had planned.

I had sold my car the day I attended my last class and wasn't surprised when we didn't return home. We drove into the remoter part of our region and we pulled off the side into a park by a river. She brought out a disposable BBQ and told me to get cooking. Using the random assortment of food she had purchased I had little trouble making something fun. My main problem was cooking while only wearing a tight small bathing suit. The heat and occasional hot splatter made me even more acutely aware of my near nakedness. When I was done cooking she piled all the coals onto the fire and got it going much hotter. Once it was going full flame she pulled out a folder of documents. She put them on the table and I could see it was any paperwork I had, like a driver's licence, passport, and a few others. There weren't many as I had long closed my bank accounts and other such attachments. She said, "Do it."

I looked her in the eyes as I dumped it into the fire. It sounds trite but I definitely saw this fan some flame in her eyes as well. She then said, "I left your bag and clothes back at the hotel with a note for them to send them to charity." I had more of my long familiar feathers in my stomach as she watched for my reaction. She then said, "Now for a rebirth of sorts. I want your suit in the fire."

I didn't even hesitate as I dropped it to the ground and into the fire. My trust and dependency on her had long passed any point where some resistance of mine would help in any way.

She then came over and grasped my testicles. When she did this I knew she was in her super possessive mode. She stared deep into my eyes and she said, "This gift I have taken from you makes my heart sing, my world better, and I just can't describe it." She then pushed me onto the ground where we had a blanket and she rode me hard. In her condo, she had always stifled screams when she orgasmed, and those times we went somewhere like hiking she had certainly gotten vocal. But this time was like some kind of animalistic battle cry. She rode me grinding her pelvis into mine while screaming things like "Yes" at the top of her lungs. Then she finished and got up leaving me entirely spent. We packed up quietly and then she said, "Sit in the back."

I presumed this was because the windows were tinted. When she usually gave me commands she rarely explained why unless she thought it would be useful for my carrying out the command. So, I got in and we continued. I loved this new level of control and couldn't wait to see her new place. A while later we turned onto ever lesser roads, and then she handed me a key to undo the chain across the lane. I did and she drove through and past me. I felt so fantastically vulnerable as she drove past and kept going a short way. I took this as a sign to re-chain the lane. She popped open the front passenger door and I got in.

Knowing this was something she loved to hear I explained how being entirely naked in the woods, god knows where, was darkly thrilling. She was smiling as we pulled up to a house by a small river. It was a very nice medium-sized place with a little yard and the river and terrain steeply sloped all around. I carried her bags in and followed her in. The movers had everything roughly where it should go, but the kitchen was commercial grade and amazing and then she just stripped off and led me to a full spa. She lay on the massage table and I proceeded to use an unusual hot stone technique my fellow students had shown some of us online. Let's just say, she was screaming in pleasure some more very soon.

She recovered and was sitting in a bathrobe when she said, "There are no clothes here for you. If you break a leg or something and we need to take you to the doctor, you can borrow my bathrobe, but outside that, I don't want you wearing anything but the running shoes by the door; no towels, no bathrobes, nothing.

I could see in her eyes she was building up a sort of rage. Here rages weren't violent, but she would get super determined and this was one of the biggest I had seen. She then pointed to some yoga kneeling pads I could see here and there. She said, "Mostly I want you kneeling by my side or standing doing work. I don't want you sitting on furniture; ever."

Then I could see her looking at me to see what my reaction would be. In a way, this made me sad because I hoped she would exactly know me. I moved to the nearest pad in front of her. Kneeled and waited for her next instruction.