Addiction: is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling, sex, shopping) that can be pleasurable but the continued use or act of which becomes compulsive, obsessive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships, or even health.
Addiction was the only term I could think of to describe my need for Sebastian. I personally believe I was far beyond the stages of compulsion and obsession. My life in general has never been the same since I met him. I was rereading over the definition once again and checking off the symptoms in this self-help magazine. However, after contemplating, there could be worse things or substances to be addicted to, such as drugs, alcohol or possibly shopping but my fix is Sebastian.
It was Sunday night and I was currently attending an all girl's night at Jessica's apartment. Girls night generally consists of the four of us, some cheesy romantic comedies, endless wine, snacks, messed up manicures and following it up with relationship gossip. It usually ended with us hungover and lounging on the couch. Some of our past incidents involve myself being passed out in the bathtub, possibly covered in my own vomit.
Originally I had no intention of coming. However, after my friends complained of not seeing me enough and threatening to come over and kidnap me; I literally had no choice. I can hardly blame them after blowing them off by using my never ending list of excuses such as: the flu, homework, projects or just too tired.
My friends weren't the only victims of my lies and excuses. I have used more than enough excuses with Mason as well as my Father. So far every one of Mason and my study sessions and friendly movie outing have been either reschedule or altogether canceled. As for my Father, he is just satisfied if I call him or make some kind of appearance by his office before he is off designing his next project.
It has literally been nearly a month of nothing but Sebastian and me. I was feeling like a permanent fixture within his life. I truly feared that I was on the borderline of being clingy but he shut down that thought immediately when he complained we didn't spend enough time together because of his large caseloads and my classes. However, when we do get to spend time together, he usually goes all out.
Sebastian has taken me out on a total of 11 dates. We've been to the Movie Theater, plays, dinners, and even to Potomac beach. Initially in the beginning of our relationship his idea of us spending time together consist of taking me out to dinner and coming back to his apartment and having sex. Lately, every date so far has literally felt like a new experience and Sebastian has been surprising as well. Since we defined our relationship he has become like a totally different person.
"Emma!" I heard Carmen call out for me. I glance over into the kitchen where the three of them were gathered close together over a pot on the stove. They looked like the three witches from Macbeth as I looked at their slime covered facial masks they were sporting. "Stop sulking and put the dam magazine down." Carmen frowned and placed her hands on her hip. She was determined to have me participating.
"You can go a day without lover boy," Jess stated firmly. "Now get your ass in the bathroom and put that dam facial mask on. When you're done, bring your ass back here and help us cook this dip," she said.
"Of course your majesty," I chuckled at her request. I then vanished into the bathroom where I spied that sticky, slimy gunk that is suppose minimized pores and make the face glow. I smeared my face, enjoying the fresh smell of mint and lavender. I chuckled as I glanced at myself in the mirror.
I wondered what Sebastian would think if he saw me right about now. Sebastian was not very happy about me not coming over tonight and switching up plans last minute. He had cleared his afternoon schedule to spend quality time with me. Today was going to be our first date that I got to plan. I was going to take him to see "One Flag" which is a historical Civil War film he had been wanting to see. I was then going to follow up with dinner at Port James which was a seafood restaurant, since he enjoyed seafood.
"Emma!" Rose startled me out of my one on one conversation with my mind. "If you stare at the mirror any longer you might fall in," Rose teased.
"I hope not," I chuckled.
"Are you still thinking about him?" She asked me.
"How can I not," I said. Like a true junkie, he was my fix. All Sebastian had to do was call and I came running and falling back into his arms.
"Come on, a little separation will do you some good," she said. "Haven't you ever heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder?" She led me back into Jessica's living room where they were now turning on the movie. Tonight's actress would be Julia Roberts which consist of three to four favorite films starring the actress. On the last girl's night the honorary actress we picked was Sandra Bullock. I settled into my seat, preparing myself for heartfelt laughter's and tearful scenes.
Three movies and three whole bottles of wine later we had finally completed the movie marathon. We were currently lying around Jess's living room gossiping about our relationships.
"So Brandon's been hinting about us getting married," Carmen slurred. Carmen was considered the lightweight when it came to us drinking, so it was no surprise she was drunk before us.
"Really!" Jess screeched.
"Yup!" she said. "We were getting hot and heavy and I was riding him and he moaned out for me to marry him," she chuckled.
"What did you say?" Rose asked.
"I..." She was attempting to gather her words. "I called him a... asshole! I couldn't believe he would assume it was okay for him to blurt it out while we were having sex. How am I supposed to tell my parents or my Nanna? That I was riding his dick and out of the blue he asked me to marry him," she fell back on the sofa giggling. We were in an uproar of laughter.
"That would make an interesting conversation," I stated. "Men are just idiots," Jess said.
"Tell me about it," Rose sighed. "I got accepted into MED school next year, but now Michael all of a sudden wants to try for a baby. Can you believe that?" she asked. "After years of being married, he all of a sudden wants a baby." She drained her glass and slammed it down on the table. She was pissed, I mean she put her dreams of being a doctor on the back burner for Michael and now they are finally financially secure and now he pulls this shit.
"I hope you told him no," Carmen said to her. "You have been wanting to be a doctor all your life," I said to her. I remember when she called me about two weeks ago letting me know she got into the medical school program at Williamson. She was so excited to start next semester in the fall.
"I told him I would see," she said.
"If it were me, I would have told him no and to kiss my ass for an explanation," Jess chuckled.
"Don't get me wrong, I love Michael and I do want kids but, I can't help thinking that he dislikes the idea of me being a doctor as well. As though he wants to be the only bread winner and he is a bit insecure. He almost seems jealous because not only was I accepted for early admissions, but I received a scholarship," she said.
"You could try to do them both," I stated.
"Be for real Em," Jess said. "Men expect us to do this and that, but never giving a flying fuck when it comes to our dreams or wants." I couldn't help but think back to my parents, mainly my mom. She had wanted to be a lawyer, but put it on the back burner when she discovered she was pregnant with me. It would probably be difficult for Rose to become a doctor as well as a mom at the same time but it is not impossible.
"Men... can truly be so confusing and demanding creature," I chuckled.
"So she speaks," Jess teased. "I thought we would never hear detail about your new budding romance. We only get to hear the detail about him and you from Carmen." "She is even secretive with me," Carmen said with expiration. "It's like pulling teeth to get information on him." "I..." I was tempted to come right out and say to them that I wasn't seeing Mason but I hesitated. Sebastian and I were official and dating somewhat publicly, but I don't think we're at that point of telling our friends and family.
"What has it been, about a month now?" Rose asked.
"Yes, Tuesday will make it a month." A smile graced my face as I thought about Sebastian and my first date. I wonder if Sebastian believed in celebrating anniversaries. "Is it normal to celebrate the one month anniversary?" I asked them.
"Of course it is, usually its dinner, exchanging of cheesy gift and it usually ends with sex," Carmen advised me. "Although I think you two have the sex down pack, you practically fuck like jackrabbits." Before they could get on the subjected of my sex life, I quickly focused the conversation back on Carmen and her possibly getting married. Before long we were riled up on the subjects of a Bachelorette party ideas, male strippers, and possible wedding venues.
It was one in the morning when we all began to wake up from our little cat nap. Rose had already left a few minutes ago because she had an early shift at the hospital. Brandon was on his way to pick up Carmen. I would have caught a ride with them, but I didn't want to head home. I called for a taxi because I knew there was only one place I wanted to go and that was Sebastian. I had been missing Sebastian nearly all night and I truly just wanted to be in his arms. The taxi pulled up with fifteen minutes and drove me directly to the Biltmore.
Upon arrival at the Biltmore, I went directly up to his penthouse. I used my key and quietly open the door. I was startled to see him wide awake and sitting on the couch watching the History channel. From closer examination, it seemed to be a documentary on the events of WWII. Sebastian glanced over at me before proceeding to turn off the television and approach me. He then leans down and kiss my lips so very tenderly. I sighed, his name with satisfaction and he slowly pulled me in his arms.
