Chapter Seven
Tori's week-end was a strange combination of happiness and trepidation. She completely enjoyed the time that she spent with her dad. Paul took her to the famous Pier 39 and she did all the tourist - like things. She ate the largest strawberry she had ever seen, she rode the carousel, she saw Alcatraz and even bought some psychedelic fingernail polish. When they got back home, Tori convinced her dad to invite Stella to join them for dinner on Sunday and this time Tori went with them. It was so much fun to see the two of them flirting and teasing one another. Tori truly hoped her dad didn't let Stella get away.
But whenever her dad mentioned her job, Tori felt her shoulders tighten in tension. Then she would find herself thinking about Jake. In fact, every time her mind wondered, Tori found herself thinking about Jake. She hoped that they could work out their differences soon, because, the way it was, she was spending way too much time worrying about him. She figured that once she had their relationship ironed out, then she would quit thinking about him so much. At least that was her plan.
On Monday morning, Tori found herself thinking about Jake again, as she put on one of her new dresses and added her open toed sandals. She found a barrette from some past time period of her life and managed to use it to enhance her haircut. She even used a light touch of make-up. Looking in the mirror, Tori liked what she saw. She realized that she was glad Jake wasn't blind because maybe he would like what he saw when he looked at her, too. Tori shrugged off the thought and headed to work.
After Tori let herself into Jake's house, Beatrice handed her a cup of coffee as she passed the kitchen. When she got to her desk, there was a pile of work waiting for her. On the top of her stack of paperwork, there was a note from Jake, asking her to come to his office first thing.
Tori made her way down the hall and knocked on the door to Jake's office. She heard the muffled "Come in." The room was still all dark except for the computer screen, but Tori was familiar enough with it now to be able to confidently move over to the chair she used.
When Tori was seated, Jake said, "I want to apologize about last week. I didn't handle your concerns well. I wasn't expecting you to catch on so quickly. That's not a reflection on your ability to deduce the obvious, it was merely my own way of convincing myself that it was possible to interact with another human being again. I had planned on telling you when the time seemed right. First, I wanted to give you the opportunity to get to know me a little better, though. But I shouldn't have lied to you. I made you feel like I was toying with you and I'm sorry."
Tori sat quietly, wondering if she was supposed to respond yet. She certainly didn't want to say that what he had done was ok and all was forgiven. But she also didn't want him to feel too badly. She really did want to be his friend and she didn't want that relationship based on shame or guilt.
Going over the options in her head, Tori finally settled on what she wanted to say. "Jake, maybe you could tell me what it is that you wanted to tell me eventually. That way, I would know what it was that you wanted me to understand. And I wouldn't be left in the dark - so to speak."
There was a sigh that seemed to be torn from Jake's heart before he spoke again. "Tori, I don't know where to begin. It's an ugly story and I don't really want to tell it. But you deserve to know why I am the way that I am. Then you can decide if you want to keep working here.
"When I was a kid, I can remember my mom and dad screaming at lot at each other. I can even remember my mom and I sneaking out of the house one night to run away. But my dad caught us. Over the years, my mom had more broken bones and claimed to have walked into more doors than I can even count. Then, when I was eight, my mom left to go to work one morning and she never came home. That night, my dad hit me for the first time, telling me that it was my fault that she had left.
"Without my mom being there to protect me, my dad started using me as his punching bag. As I grew older, the abuse got unimaginably worse. Then, when I was sixteen, after a particularly bad night of my dad and his buddies using me to relieve all their stresses from the work week, I woke up to someone knocking on our trailer door. When I crawled over all the passed out bodies and opened the door, I felt like I was looking at an angel. There was this woman standing on our front steps. She was older, beautiful and had the kindest eyes I had ever seen.
"This lady took one look at me, then a look past me at the scene behind me, grabbed my arm and pulled me to her car. After we climbed in, her driver sped away like demons from hell were chasing us. Turns out, this woman was my grandmother - my mom's mother. She had been trying to find us for years. I told her about mom leaving and she just snorted her disbelief. Apparently my grandmother thought my dad had killed my mom and hidden her body.
"My grandmother had legal custody of me before the day was out, even though it was a Saturday. The woman was wealthy, powerful and loved me. Life changed completely for me. Instead of cowering in fear or having to lie about what was happening to me, suddenly, everything was like a fairy tale come true. I had a safe home to live in, a grandmother who loved me, new clothes to wear and I was going to school regularly for the first time in my life.
"It was on the way to school one morning that my dad managed to ruin my life. My grandmother had pressed charges against him, so he was running from the law. As I walked down the street toward school, a car pulled up beside me and my dad yanked me into it. Since I was headed to school, nobody missed me for the entire day. Which meant that for almost eight hours, my dad was free to do whatever he wanted to me. And what he wanted was to disfigure me as much as possible.
