Today after work I went to see that new movie, ‘Gods and Generals’. It’s the story of the first 2 years of the Civil War from the perspective of the South and the people who were affected most, the soldiers and their families.
As I sat there alone in the darkened theater, all I could think about as the story unfolded before me was you. I thought of how very much I admire you, how much I respect the man you are and all you have been through in your lifetime. I wished you were there with me so I could convey the infinite respect and admiration I have for your bravery and your attitude, your willingness to meet life on your own terms, head on, no apologies and no regrets. All you have been through, from the War and your wounds, to your accomplishments in your career, to your success in your business and your success in life, all these things impress me and open my heart to all that you are.
In the few weeks we have known one another, I have gradually allowed myself to become closer to you. I have slowly dropped my guard and let you in bit by bit. And I have no regrets. I realized this past week, while you were away in New York on that business trip, that I had fallen in love with you. And although the prospect of such intense feelings on my part frightens me to death (as I don’t know if those feelings are reciprocated), I cannot deny them.
You may never feel as I do; you may think I am nothing more than a passing convenience, a fancy or a whim. As for me, I am of the mind that you may be my Grand Passion, the man I have waited for my entire life to love, the reason for my being and my existence, the sun and moon and stars in my universe. How, oh how will I ever let you know this? What could I say, what could I do to let you know? There is nothing I can do, my hands are tied. To love you is sweet agony; the expression of such intense feelings is absolutely forbidden. You are married as am I. The mere thought of such feelings is beyond thinking, beyond imagination.
