"Dan?"
"Mmm..."
"You're meant to be up already, I can't keep doing this, at some point you're going to have to start getting yourself up in the morning." I was trying to be stern with him but failing hopelessly.
"Maggie?" His voice was scratchy with sleep.
"Now who else might it be at this time in the morning?" I said, making a passable attempt at mimicking his lilting Irish accent.
"Ah well, if you took me back then we wouldn't have all this trouble with early morning calls would we, and I could make you so happy all over again." I could hear the smile in his voice but I wasn't falling for his charm.
"If I took you back then I'd have to be dragging you out of bed every morning the same way I used to, and as for happy; we did have some happy times, but at the cost of my sanity. Whereabouts are you working this weekend anyway, just out of idle curiosity?"
"You're a tough woman Maggie Ross. I'm not sure; the boss has relegated me to covering the arty type crap so who knows." I wasn't but I was trying to be.
"Not so tough at all Dan, now I think you've got twenty minutes to get up and washed and out the door." I checked my bedside clock and confirmed it.
"It's morally wrong to make people work on a Saturday I tell you, but I'd better make a move, talk to you before the weekend is over, just so you don't miss me too much." He joked.
"You don't give me a chance to miss you, take care of yourself." I hung up quickly and snuggled back down under my duvet, dislodging the two tabby kittens that had made themselves comfortable in the warm space where my head had rested.
--
It couldn't be me. The person standing naked at the docks beside the Cutty Sark, her skin cast in a slightly bluish tone was definitely not me, Maggie Ross; former wife of Daniel and foster mother to two slightly deranged kittens, one African grey parrot and an assortment of tropical fish. It was six o'clock on Sunday morning; I should have been snug and warm under my winter weight duvet trying to ignore the two cats vying for pillow space on top of my head; but not this morning. There was only one person to blame, and it sure as hell wasn't me.
It was James Goodman's fault. I had been lead, duped and infected with his enthusiasm as he had conducted his first interview of the morning the previous day with Spencer Tunick. Not that I had ever heard of Spencer Tunick up until that point, my sole artistic experience consisting of multi-coloured finger painted pictures from various nieces and nephews, and the one or two Da Vinci posters in my bedroom. The fact that I was a thirty-something woman, independent, with one fully operational mind of her own didn't even merit a consideration.
I had been half way through my third pre-breakfast coffee, listening to the radio and blessing the fact that I didn't have to go anywhere for the weekend as the traffic reports came through. The soft voice of the traffic reporter faded out and I heard the dj announce the latest song on the play-list, after which he would introduce his special guest for the morning. He was giving nothing away, going silent as Billy Idol's 'Hot in the city' filled the airwaves; I cast my eye out of the window at the trees being bent back and forth in the stormy weather and thought that it must have been a feeble attempt at humour on the part of the dj; hot in the city my ass, if it wasn't for the fact that the calendar was flipped over to June I would have sworn it was the middle of October.
I heard the thud of the mail on the mat behind the front door and stopped short of getting up to retrieve it as the dj introduced his guest.
"If you haven't already seen the billboard posters plastered all over the city, and you haven't seen any of his television interviews, then where the hell have you been? Spencer Tunick is here and he needs your help... yes you lot! He's giving you the chance to be part of his next work of art, excuse me, 'installation', but I'll let him give you the details himself." The dj sounded hyper and as Spencer Tunick started to speak, I was still wondering which particular drugs he was taking.
Slowly, almost without being aware of it, I felt myself being drawn into the world of Spencer Tunick. When he spoke of the different countries he had worked in, the thousands of people he had persuaded to shed their clothes, I felt as though I had been denying myself the simple pleasure of being completely naked in public, free of inhibitions, with only the breeze to cover my skin and cool my blushes. I found myself listening intently as he made a plea to the population, asking for people from every ethnic background, all shapes and sizes to make their way to the Cutty Sark the following morning. I mentally checked my social diary, realising quickly that I had a clear spot all the way to Christmas, which meant that I would have nothing to stop me being there. I quite fancied myself as a piece of art, even if I would only playing a miniscule part in it; the only thing that troubled me slightly was that he wanted everyone that turned up to get naked. I was a goddess in the privacy of my own bedroom; Spencer Tunick would single me out, declaring that he had found his muse, and I would turn and smile enigmatically at him before disappearing into a writhing sea of naked flesh. Well, there was nothing wrong with my imagination at any rate.
--
I wasn't even close to being the first person there, which was kind of heartening, but I found myself scrutinising every female in sight to see whether I measured up to them or not, making myself feel better when I noticed their little imperfections; not that I didn't have any of my own. I was only too aware that the perky breasts I had proudly flashed at Daniel during my twenties had drooped slightly; they were more rounded than they ever had been before. My hips were a little plumper than I would have liked and I had spent a good half hour the previous evening, craning my head over my shoulder to get a rear view of my ass in the mirror; wishing that it were a little firmer and tighter. In the end I had to console myself that everything changed with time, it was the same for everyone. It was obvious that the men present outnumbered the women, but the cold had taken its toll and more than a few had a hand or two covering their rapidly shrivelling penises. I counted my blessings though, because it seemed that the stormy weather that had kept us company for the better part of the week had fizzled out leaving the air cold and damp and the skies slightly overcast.