This is my first story. I want readers to vote and comment, just keep that little bit of info in mind.
To my editor, Ben:
You are an angel for putting up with my shit and slight-perfectionism. Without your help, this story would suck.
To my readers:
This is going to be several chapters and a slow build-up. In other words, this ain't a quick fuck. If that's what you want, go somewhere else. There isn't even any sex at all in this first chapter. If you're into the characters and their story, then I think this will be for you. At least, I hope so.
*
The book bag slung over Shirley's shoulder drooped lower and lower with each step she took. The work from her seventh grade classes was weighing it down. She passed a group of teens standing in a group on the cracked sidewalk smoking what was very likely a not cigarette. They were laughing at vapors and clowns that only they could see. Judging by the smell, Shirley guessed it was pot.
"Hey Shirl. Wanna puff?" one of them asked before he fell on his ass.
"Fuck off." She kept walking, ignoring their laughter. Shirley had to get home soon so she could get to studying. She had a big test coming up in Social Studies.
As she walked Shirley thought back to why she was always working so hard. It was all for her mom.
Shirley's mom died when she was a toddler. Every day Shirley spent time to replay memories of her in her mind to ensure that she never forgot her. Her mother had been wonderful despite their situation. She was a popular prostitute with many kids in her broken down apartment. She tried to keep her line of business from her children by introducing her customers as their uncles. Needless to say, they had a lot of uncles. When she wasn't working, Shirley's mother made time to care for her children. She loved to read stories to them, watch cartoons and play games with them, and take them places.
One day, Child Services came by. Apparently the dilapidated apartment the family lived in wasn't good enough and there were too many children. It didn't matter how good of a mother she was. Shirley remembered all the crying and screaming that had gone on when Child Services came to take them away. Shirley had managed to hide in a kitchen cabinet and waited until everything grew quite. She had opened the door and looked around. Shirley could still see the mess that had greeted her. Furniture was turned over, glass from some unknown source was strewn across the floor along with various debris. In the middle of it all, curled up in a ball on the floor, was Shirley's mother. Everything was deathly silent as Shirley made her way over to her. Shirley had touched her shoulder and her mother had looked at her with tears streaming down her face. When she saw Shirley, she grabbed her and held her tightly against her chest as she sobbed.
Shirley remembered what her mother always said, "You've got to do what you've got to do. Sometimes it sucks ass, but it's got to be done." That had become Shirley's motto, too.
When her mother died from AIDS, Shirley was sent to live with her aunt and uncle. Her real uncle, that is. They resented having to care for her and never made it a secret how much they hated her. Shirley almost forgot when her birthday was, because they never even mentioned it. The last time Shirley received a gift, a hug, or even a few kind words was when her mother was still alive.
Shirley sighed and adjusted the book bag on her shoulder. She was almost home.
Shirley had been to see Dr. Mendhelson yesterday on her way home from school. She had a bad feeling she was pregnant. A blood test was taken and Dr. Mendhelson said he would call as soon as the results came back.
Shirley walked towards the front steps of her house. The door flew open to show the murderous looks on her aunt and uncle's faces.
"Get out and never come back. This isn't a whorehouse," her aunt spat at her.
Shit. He called...I am pregnant.
Shirley mentally shook herself. She'd deal with that later. "You're kicking me out just because I'm
pregnant
?"
Her aunt glared at her. "If you weren't fucking your teachers to get good grades, then you wouldn't be pregnant."
Shirley felt as if she'd been punched in the stomach. She earned those grades with hard work and countless hours of studying. She'd never have sex with one of her teachers or anyone else to get
anything
. Shirley glared back at her aunt, fighting hard to keep her anger in check.
Shirley ground her teeth together, her voice coming out strained. "I told you what happened."
Her aunt's laugh was a sharp and unpleasant rebuke. "You expect us to believe
that
?"
Her uncle snapped, "You made that pathetic rape story up so we wouldn't kick you out. It won't work. If we kept you, by the time you graduated and left, babies would be climbing out the windows. Like mother like daughter."
Calm down. He's just trying to make you angry,
Shirley told herself.
Her uncle continued, "By getting rid of you we're saving ourselves hundreds of dollars."
Shirley cut her uncle off. "You can't even wait for me to have the baby?" Again, her aunt laughed at her derisively. Her uncle sneered.
"Of course not." Her uncle said. The condemnation in his tone was unmistakable "The sooner we get rid of a slut like you the better. You didn't think we actually cared about you, did you?" They laughed as though the best joke in the world had just been told. Shirley reminded herself that murder was against the law and that giving birth in a prison was no way to bring a child into the world.
Fine
, she thought as she walked away.
I'll do it all by myself. Nothing new there.
As she walked down the street with her book bag slung over her shoulder and a baby just beginning to grow in her stomach, Shirley started making plans. Inside her back pocket was the $125 she managed to save over the past six months performing odd jobs in the neighborhood. Shirley always carried it just in case she should get thrown out on the street by those assholes.
Her first course of action was to walk a few blocks and then wait to catch the next bus. Shirley figured that she could ride it to the next city, or maybe even farther. Once she got to a likely city, she would find a homeless shelter to live in until she had enough money saved up for something more permanent. Next, she would find a job. All she had to do was lie about her age. Whether anyone believed her wouldn't matter. Nobody would be able to check up on her. Nor would anyone pass on the opportunity to wring long hours of work out of her and cheat her on her pay. As long as they didn't cheat her too much, she'd have to accept whatever she was offered.
Shirley sat down on the cast iron, bus stop bench and placed a hand on her stomach. It was scary to think that a child was growing inside of her. Shirley was only twelve years old and had just been kicked out of her home. Sure the place had sucked, but it was all she had. Now it was gone. She didn't have any friends or family to help her. She didn't have an income or a place to live, didn't know what giving birth was like, and she hadn't even been given a choice about getting pregnant or losing her virginity. Shirley had been raped. Her virginity had been taken from her.
"Getting on?"
Shirley jumped. She hadn't heard the bus pull up. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to hide her fears. She learned early on to never let anyone see when you're afraid.
Shirley paid her fare and took a seat on the nearly empty bus. She looked through the glass as sceneries flew past her window, without seeing anything at all. All she had was the useless schoolwork in her book bag, the money in her pocket, the child in her belly, and herself.
Shirley took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.
You've got to do what you've got to do. Sometimes it sucks ass, but it's got to be done
. She wasn't the only one relying on herself anymore. Whether she was ready for parenthood did not matter; it was going to happen. For the sake of her child, she knew she must to build something out of the rubble that was now her life. Only Death himself could stand in her way. And if he was reckless enough to try, he damn well better be ready for the fight of his life.
