I am so connected to him. So in tune to his every feeling, his every mood. So I knew that he was struggling. Struggling with loneliness and stress. I could feel it every time we spoke. Things have been a little strained between us, not because of anything that we were doing, but because of the direction that our lives were taking. When he told me that he was taking some time for himself and going to his cabin in the mountains, I smiled. It was a bittersweet smile though because I was feeling sorry for myself. While at the cabin he would not be available to me, but I knew he would be getting the much needed break from life for a while.
The day that he was to leave I woke up early. I was lying in bed and thinking about him. I decided that I would get up and sign on the computer so that I could say good-bye to him. I rolled out of my bed and punched in my familiar password. I had mail from him. Damn. That means that I have already missed him. I sighed, and resigned myself to be lonely for the weekend. I opened the mail and my heart lurched. There was no message, no subject. Just a link. Check out AOL driving directions. I clicked the link. I realized that he had sent me directions from my house to the cabin. I let the air escape my lungs. I didn't even know that I was holding my breath. What was he saying? What should I do? I couldn't call him to clarify, because I knew he would not get reception through the mountains.
In an instant, I made my decision. I was going. I was going to meet with him. I wanted this. I knew that he did too. I flew to the shower. My heart beating fast, I dressed and I threw a few things in a bag. I didn't know what was in store for us, but I wanted to be prepared. A black negligee, and a dress, as well as an outfit to come home in tomorrow in case I stayed the night. Another smile broke out on my face. I felt like a child on her birthday. I took the stairs two at a time in my excitement, and hopped into the car. I was off.
In just a few hours, I would finally be in his arms. Finally. I drove along in silence. No radio, no conversation, just silence. I realized that I really needed this break from life as well. What a beautiful drive. The streams flowing over their banks from the recent rains, the trees beginning to show their buds. I was so enjoying this trip, as well I would enjoy the destination as well. I finally reached the last mile or so and I was so giddy with anticipation. How would the first meeting be? Would we feel awkward, or would it be as natural as our conversations? I turned up the final mountain road and saw his familiar blue truck with the rack. I have seen it in pictures, and knew it was his. I maneuvered my car into the spot next to his truck and sat for a minute. I flipped down the mirror and took one last look at myself. Why I don't know, he has seen me in all my glory. I still cannot believe I sent some of the pictures that I did. I open the car door and step into the sunshine.
I stretch my arms up, and then I lean in to get my bag. From our conversations I know that it is a little bit of a walk to the cabin, it was too muddy to travel by car on the path. I had quite a lilt in my step as I made my way. It was heaven in the woods. And even if the meeting with Mike didn't go as I wanted it to, I still would not regret coming here to this beauty. Before I knew it I was within sight of the cabin. It was a great little place, not fancy, but definitely wonderful.
I heard the sounds of breaking branches and followed the noise. There he was behind the cabin clearing brush that had fallen under the weight of the winter snow. At first he didn't notice me, and I continued to watch him work. I am overtaken by him. Not by a feeling of love of at first sight, but a feeling of true contentment. We are so close, and now we will share special time, being alone in his special place.
I clear my throat, and smile at him. He drops the branch that he was dragging and smiles back. βHi babyβ he calls.