[This particular story can be read as a stand-alone piece, but was written to respond to many, many requests for a further chapter to "The Ugly Duckling", which enjoyed so much positive feedback, (much to the astonishment of the author!). It is not composed for the Valentine's Day story contest, but it does use Valentine's as part of the setting - PS]
[This story contains a few incidental references to real people and places, but it is entirely a work of fiction; and all characters in this story who are involved in serious sexual situations are at least 18 years old - PS]
* * *
Alice stood beside the freshly covered grave, using her coat sleeve to wipe away the traces of the tears that had streaked her cheeks. The funeral and interment had been only yesterday, but she was somehow drawn back to the cemetery, to grieve by herself. Her father had died when she very little, and now her mother was gone ... gone to what J. R. R. Tolkien had so poignantly described as: "the loss and the silence." As she stood there, alone, some whitish grey clouds scudded across the January sky, and she pulled her coat lapels together against the chilly wind. In the freakish way of the winter weather in the city, yesterday, Friday, had been quite cold, while today was well above freezing, and the skiff of snow that was on the ground was turning into slush.
Her mother's life, she thought, had ended too early. She had always had poor health, and even a combination of constant care and new medications had been unable to forestall the inevitable. At least she had lived to see her granddaughter. Her younger sister Susan had produced this miracle last summer, and her mother's final Christmas was marked by the joy of it. Susan and Alice were not close, but the arrival of the baby did give her the chance to play the doting aunt, so perhaps the relationship would be more tightly bound in the future.
Susan, like herself, had gone into teaching, but then met and married an up and coming young lawyer. Susan was off on a full year maternity leave, but Alice suspected she wasn't going to return to her profession ... motherhood seemed to suit her better, and Dave, her husband, was doing very well with his career, and seemed more than happy to be the sole provider for his family. More babies, and more baby gifts, she thought to herself, smiling inwardly for the first time, were definitely in the near future. As she thought about her new niece, and her mother's untimely death, the juxtaposition of the two events became vividly clear ... the promise of a brand new life; and the finality of death ... as Tolkien had also written: "If this is indeed, as the Eldar say, the gift of the One to Man, it is bitter to receive."
She turned away from the grave, but not before taking a handful of wet earth from the top of a pile left by the excavating equipment, and then tossing it onto the low mound that covered where her mother now rested.
"Goodbye mom," she whispered through her tears, feeling more alone than ever before in her life.
* * *
Driving towards her mother's house, she couldn't help but to reflect on her circumstances. Thirty was fast approaching; her birthday was on Valentine's Day, and she still had no one to share her life with. Once, a long time ago, there had been a love ... a tender, young passionate love ... in the way that only eighteen year olds can experience it. Since then there had been a number of men in her life, and she had even slept with some of them, but somehow nothing had "clicked", so each relationship had somehow ended, with either she or he, or both of them, recognizing that this wasn't "it".
She pulled into the driveway in front of the now vacant story and a half house. It was one of the last small ones left in the district; the rest had been demolished to make way for large new dwellings, or renovated beyond recognition, as the gentrification of the well placed little community proceeded apace. Her mother had very little in the way of financial resources beyond the house, and Alice, as well as Susan and Dave, had helped her when she became too ill to work. Last year, she and Susan had had encouraged her mother to sell the house, because the lot it sat on was worth so much, and relocate to an apartment, but events overtook this plan, and she had died in her own bed ... in her own place ... that was comforting somehow!
Alice mounted the steps to the front door, and turned the key, stepping inside. There was a pile of mail scattered on the front mat, and only silence, to greet her. She and Susan, heeding Dave's advice, had decided to remove any personal items, but to leave the house furnished until it was sold. In the emotion of the days leading up to the funeral, she had frenetically cleaned out the kitchen and the fridge, but the upstairs was untouched. She went into Susan's old bedroom, and observed that her sister had been good to her word. The closet and bureau were empty. She debated about starting on her mother's things, but just couldn't bring herself to this today ... maybe tomorrow ... so she decided to do her former room.
She checked the bed; it was covered with a duvet, but not made underneath. That made sense. Her old dresser had very little in it, just some high school yearbooks and a few photos. She set them on top of it, until she could go to the basement and find a carton for them. Lastly she looked in the closet, there wasn't much there, just an old dressing gown, and behind it a garment bag. Unzipping it, she beheld her first prom dress, still a vision of blue organza dreams that shimmered in the light, as she took it out and laid it on the bed.
Seeing the dress brought back a flood of memories. Her first and only love, Christopher ... and some magical nights filled with romance. His parents had bought the dress for her; her mother couldn't afford such a thing. It was good of them to come to the funeral; and very unexpected. They were as unfailingly nice to her as they had always been, especially during her "Summer Place" romance with Christopher ... but the sadness was there, behind their eyes; Alice could see it.
After high school Christopher had attended the Royal Military College at Queen's University; his father had also started his career as a soldier. Once Christopher graduated, he received a posting as an officer in the Canadian Army. He had married shortly thereafter, and had one son.
But Christopher was gone ... dead ... just like her mother; the only two things in her life that she had loved. The Canadian contingent of the NATO forces fighting in Afghanistan were responsible for the incredibly dangerous Khandahar province, and along with their US and UK compatriots were very, very much in harm's way, unlike the European troops, and there were many casualties. Christopher had gone on patrol ... and never come back. His official status was: "Missing in action -- presumed dead." That was four years ago, and although his parents continued to hope against hope for his return, something about them, yesterday at the funeral, told Alice that the awful reality was closing in all around.
Rather remarkably, Christopher's son, Ryan, was in Alice's kindergarten class that year. In late August when she received her class roster, she was very surprised to see his name on it. Upon investigation, Alice discovered that his mother and stepfather had used Christopher's parent's address; they lived just a short distance away from her mother's house, in order to qualify him for the superior public school in the area; the one where she taught. Of course she didn't report this infraction; she would never in a million years deny Christopher's wonderful parents, who had always treated her so well, the opportunity to have their grandson enrolled in the highly sought after school.
Little Ryan reminded Alice so much of his father; it was like a ghost walking! Certain words, or gestures, even after all these years, took her back in time to that carefree summer; and, as Van Morrison had captured so perfectly: "making love in the green grass ..." There had been plenty of that, and so much else, between them as they explored first love.
Alice was never quite sure why something so intense finally ended. When they parted that September, they had agreed that it would be OK to see other people, although neither one of them looked very certain about the idea she recalled. As the years passed she saw less and less of Christopher, he was either away at school, or spending his summers at basic training, or on manoeuvers, and gradually, when they did see each other, it had become increasingly awkward, especially with the spectre of sex, or no sex, hanging over every conversation. By third year, during one of his brief visits home, they agreed to just be friends.
Alice had met Christopher's widow, Jackie, during kindergarten orientation, and she didn't seem at all like the kind of person he would choose to spend his life with. Christopher had met his wife at Queen's, she did know that, and they married quite quickly right after graduation.
As she looked at the prom dress, another memory, this time a pleasant one, filled her mind, and she smiled as she recalled it. It was the weekend after the prom. They had only experienced sex twice before, a very unsatisfactory first time in her basement on prom night; and a second more successful encounter the next day in Christopher's bedroom, when he managed to take much more time, so much so that she experienced an orgasm as a result of his caresses.
Her mother and Susan had gone away for the weekend, and she had received permission to have Christopher over on the Saturday night. Her mother probably suspected that her daughter was now intimate with Christopher ... no doubt it was written all over her face ... and she had therefore also likely decided that "the horse was out of the barn" in terms of Alice's virginity ... and, Alice thought a little ruefully, her mother could certainly see that she was totally smitten ... so perhaps her mother had just decided to accept that her daughter was almost a grown up!
Alice wanted to surprise Christopher, and so she put on her prom dress; and nothing else! When she lured him into the discovery that she was completely naked underneath the folds of the skirt, and then let him explore the more than ready womanhood of one very sexually aroused young lady, the desired result was obtained; the prom dress ended up in a heap on the bedroom floor, and they quickly engaged in a wildly passionate half hour on the very bed she was standing next to. Their lovemaking ended with them both reaching a climax together, and then lying tenderly in each other's arms, overwhelmed by the feelings of love and desire that had enveloped them. It was, she recalled, one of the best moments of her life ... and she would remember it always, for Christopher's sake, if for no other reason.
