I always stood with the others, a silent guardian of the nursery. Taller than the others they all looked up to me. Until the men came. They carried chains saws and cut me along with many others nearby. Then we were tied up tightly in a biting plastic net and piled on top of each other in a trailer, where we stayed for what seemed like days. But it was so dark I couldn't tell. Then we were sprayed with some kind of paint, apparently to make us even greener. I mean we're freaking evergreens, how much more green can we be??
Anyways, from the trailer I was eventually propped up against a wall, where a little fat man in a parka and toque tried to sell me to everyone. But most looked at my price and passed me by. I was the biggest tree there. I longed to stretch my branches out, but I was still bound.
My needles were nice and soft. A few times people touched me and smiled appreciatively but none bought me. I could feel myself start to droop even though I tried to keep up a strong face.
And then a very pompous man came straight up to me; he never even spared a glance at the others. He didn't even look at my price tag. Just picked me up and said, "I’ll take it."
Then the man tied me to the roof of his truck, and after a fast but cold drive we arrived at my new home.
There I finally got my branches free as he cut the plastic away. Unfortunately my branches were still cramped so it took me a while before I could. But oh it felt glorious. It felt so good that I barely even noticed the little spikes that he drove into my stump. I did notice the nice cool water that tasted faintly sweet as he poured it into the bowl I was standing in.
I sighed contentedly, at least as much as a tree can, and stood there proudly as they began to put on the lights and garlands, the tinsel the tickled and the crystal ornaments that I held up high so they don't get knocked off by careless people.
And then I prepared for my first night as a Christmas tree. It was dark in the house and after everyone had gone to bed when the maid came out and sat down on the couch. She was wearing a maid outfit like none I had seen before. The skirt was so short that it basically didn't exist, black stockings covered her legs, and even form where I was I could see down between her cleavage.
She had only been sitting for a minute when the man who bought me came out in his robe. He looked at her and then let his robe drop. Revealing a very noticeable erection. My branches shook as the maid dropped to her knees and began sucking on him. He looked at me briefly, smiling that silly smile guys get when their dicks are being sucked.
I wished I could do something to alert his wife, but what can a tree do? The lights! I quickly turned on all of my lights, quickly illuminating the room and catching the two adulterers. He was so stunned that he fell over crashing into the glass coffee table and shattering it. She knelt there for an instant as if she was still sucking before she realized what had happened.
"What's going on out there?" I heard his wife say and then she came into the living room and saw it all.
She was silent for a minute that stretched to eternity, and then said in a very quiet but edged with anger voice, "get out, both of you."
The man tried to say something, but one glare form his wife and he stayed silent, he got his bathrobe and was going to the bedroom before he realized she meant get out now!