The Theory of Love

Author's Note:

Welcome back to The Theory of Love.

Originally, this was planned as a three-chapter story, but as I wrote, it grew. Some scenes ran deeper, new characters demanded a voice, and honestly, I was having too much fun to stop.

Chapter 3 became something much larger than expected, so much so that I had to split it, refine it, and let the story breathe. This version reflects the direction I believe is right for the series, and I hope you enjoy it.

As I did with Chapter 1, I made some light edits to Chapters 1 and 2 when preparing this release. I start each chapter from scratch, so some small adjustments to names, timestamps, or minor events were necessary for consistency. Don't worry--Chapter 3 isn't dependent on the new updates, and these tweaks shouldn't detract from your experience.

I post updates every Saturday on my profile. Follow me there to stay in the loop about upcoming chapters, projects, or any delays.

Now, without further ado...

Here's Chapter 3.

Happy reading.

----------

?????

----------

Everything around me looked big. Not skyscraper big, just big in that "the world has just opened up" kind of way. I took a deep breath, grabbed my overstuffed bag, and stepped out of the car. I was so focused on taking it all in, I nearly missed the soft "ahem" behind me.

I turned to see Mia standing there, arms outstretched, her baby bump clearly visible. In the passenger seat, Matilda--her girlfriend--waved with a soft smile. I nearly forgot myself as I turned and threw my arms around Mia without thinking. I waved toward Matilda mid-hug, both of us shedding a few tears as we pulled apart.

"I'm going to miss you so much, little sis! But just you wait--uni life will be the best thing that's ever happened to you! You might find someone special, or better yet, find out who you are."

She ruffled my hair and gave one of my twin tails a playful tug. I smiled, brushing my fringe back over my eyes and pulling the hood of my hoodie up.

Later, I wandered through what I thought led to the dorm entrance, but it turned out to be the campus library. First-day jitters were hitting hard. I turned towards a bench to sit down and reorient when a confident, friendly voice spoke from behind me.

"Heya! You look a little lost. Guessing you're also new here and looking for dorm reception?"

I turned around to find a group of girls with a variety of hair colours. One stood out in front, her platinum blonde hair shone just like the confident smile on her face, she was clearly the one who had spoken. I gave a nervous laugh and dropped the now-heavy bag to the floor.

"Yeah... you could say that. First day--just commuted here from four states away."

The lead girl approached, slinging an arm casually around my shoulders and pulling me closer.

"I can help you there. The girls and I are heading that way anyway. Don't be shy! We might seem intimidating, but we've been tight since high school. We don't bite."

As we walked toward the dorms, I could feel her eyes on me, studying me like a puzzle she already knew how to solve.

"I'm guessing you're the quiet, mousy type. Let me guess, you looked around and thought everything feels big, huh?"

Before I could answer, she tugged down my hoodie, revealing my fringe and twin tails. I heard soft murmurs from the others: "Oh wow!" and "Poor girl."

"Oh damn! Why is someone as good-looking as you hiding behind all this?" she asked, gesturing to my clothes and hair. "If you want, we can help you out--maybe even give you a makeover?"

My teeth sank into my lower lip. My brain screamed "run!" but loneliness held me still.

"Why..." I hesitated, eyes flicking to the other girls. "Why are you being nice to someone like me?"

The head girl sighed, tilting her head slightly, eyes full of false pity.

"Honestly? I just can't help but see that you need a real friend. I--well, we--can be those friends, if you're okay with that. I can see the fierce woman hiding under the fringe and hoodie. So how about it?"

She smiled warmly. "I'm Hannah Monroe, by the way. That's Rachel Adams, and that's Katherine Evens, but she goes by Kat." she said, pointing first to the brunette, then to the fiery redhead.

Hannah extended her hand towards me. "I don't think we got your name?"

The logical side of me screamed, Don't do it! But the lonely side--the side aching for connection--whispered, What harm could it do? They seem nice enough.

The lonely side won.

I took her hand and smiled.

"I'm Jessica. Jessica Mason. Freshman like you lot! Nice to meet you!" Our hands reached out and grasped as we shook hands. The excitement of making some new friends made me miss how Hannah's face slowly morphed into a grin that didn't belong on a new friend's face, but a hunter.

----------

Jessica

----------

My eyes snapped open, memories of my first day on campus yanking me from sleep. I lay there, my head resting on a fluffy pillow, as memories from that first day began to bleed into everything that came after. What a whirlwind of a year that turned out to be.

With Hannah's guidance, I slowly came out of my shell over my freshman year, and I blossomed. I went from the shy, introverted girl who hid behind a hoodie to become the confident, sassy woman who oozed sex appeal.

I still remember the week I lost my virginity. My birthday had just passed when Hannah orchestrated the whole thing, first setting up my first kiss with a varsity player, then 'borrowing' Nathan, Kat's closest guy friend, as a belated gift. It was the day after sleeping with Nathan that she and the girls officially inducted me into the group they'd formed back in high school: a pact they called "The Rule of Four."

I remember asking what it meant--It sounded like it was meant for four people, like D'Artagnan tagging along with the Three Musketeers. They assured me it was just a set of four rules they'd lived by since they started high school.

The rules, as they told me, were:

1. No attachments. No boyfriends. Friends before flings--no guy is worth the fallout.

2. Always protect the circle. What happens with the four stays with the four. Loyalty is everything.

3. Always be seen. Never be soft. We don't chase. We don't cry. We make them want us.

4. Share and share alike. If he's good enough for one, he's good enough for all.

They laughed when they said it. I laughed along, keeping with the flow.

Still, I went with the flow. Sophomore year became my coming-out party--I made myself known, racked up an impressive headcount. Not Hannah-level stats, but enough to leave a mark.

It wasn't until I met Tom in Junior year that I...

I flung myself upright, clutching my chest as I gasped for breath. After a few seconds, I managed to calm down, but my cheeks were wet with tears. The memories were catching up to me fast.

"Tom..."

My face scrunched up as every. Single. Moment. hit me in waves--shame, rage, sadness. My shaking hands moved up to cover my eyes, and I started to cry.

Not the soft kind. The ugly kind where the tears come with snot and drool, where your body folds in on itself and all you want is to disappear.

I had something amazing. I had found love.

It was just like Mia said on my first day: 'Maybe you'll meet someone special.' I had. I'd found love. And now it was gone.

I wanted to curl into a ball and waste the day away. There was no reason to move. No reason to try. Just sit in my room and--

Wait... my room?

My hands dropped from my face. The pity party screeched to a halt. I blinked and looked around.

I was... back. In my dorm.

I glanced toward my dresser. My disguise from our first date--wig and glasses--still sat there. And perched right on top, like a mocking little gremlin, was the rogue figurine I'd "stolen" from Tom. I reached out and cradled the figurine against my chest, looking down at it as a tear dropped on the deformed head.

"How did I get here...? I'm pretty sure I collapsed from exhaustion. Who--?"

"It was me." I jumped and turned, sharp and ready to confront whoever it was. "I brought you back here, couldn't leave you in the middle of nowhere." I froze as I saw Kat. She stood uncertainly in the doorway, her posture stiff, face torn between sadness and guilt, like she hadn't meant to be seen.

"Jessica..." she said softly.

"What are you doing here, Katherine?" I cut her off, every syllable sharpened by rage. "Haven't you, Rachel, and that bitch Hannah already wrecked my life?"

I stood, the sheets falling from my lap as heat surged through me.

"You came to see the fallout? Well, congrats! Mission accomplished! Tom's gone. You broke us. I told you all--I was done with the Rule of Fucking Four."

Kat flinched but didn't speak. Her silence just made it worse.

"You think I don't remember the rules?" I spat. "No attachments. No boyfriends. 'Friends before flings.' I agreed to that shit when I was younger and stupid and desperate to belong."

I paced as I spoke, the words tumbling out like venom.

"You remember that night I had my first kiss? Varsity guy? The very next night, I was on the couch... watching you snuggle up to Nathan."

Kat looked down, but I wasn't finished.

"Don't you dare deny it, Katherine. He wasn't just some guy. The way you were with him on the couch? That wasn't casual. That wasn't friendly.

So what the hell, Kat? Why did I have to fuck the one person you cared about just to earn my place?"

Her lips parted like she might answer--but nothing came out. She looked like she was warring with herself, emotions flickering behind her eyes. Then she looked up. Her face steeled.

When she spoke, her voice was so quiet I almost missed it.

"Nathan is..." she swallowed. "Nathan's my cousin. I'm in love with him. Or rather... I was in love with him. Nobody else knew. We kept it quiet. He was my first... and we promised we'd only ever be with each other."

She let out a long breath, one laced with realization more than regret.

"Ah, who am I kidding? I'm still in love with Nathan. And yes, you're right... the morning after you two had sex, and we inducted you into the Rule of Four? You were correct in your assumption. There's more to it than we let on."

She paused. Her eyes dropped.

"As far as Nate goes... I was upset. Angry. Pissed off. At both Hannah and you."

The thought stung, sharp and sudden. I pushed it down. My jaw clenched.

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you picked him," she said softly. "You had the choice. But Hannah... she made it a rule. She made it impossible to say no."

That stopped me cold.

"Wait... I picked him?" I asked slowly. "What are you talking about? Hannah said Nathan was on loan from you for my first time," I added, voice rising. "I never picked anyone! I almost backed out. But then Hannah told me you were fine with it--that you'd given your blessing."

Kat staggered slightly, like something inside her had just shifted--like a puzzle piece had finally clicked into place.

"We were both played," she whispered.

"I thought you picked Nathan. You thought I was okay with it. But it was all Hannah... that fucking bitch...

"Even if I never showed it,. "I tried to act like it didn't bother me. Like if I ignored it long enough, it would stop hurting. I told myself to just grin and bear it. And honestly, we even got along sometimes. But every now and then... I'd look at you and feel this weird tug, like I was staring at the girl who stole my future." she quietly said.

She turned away for a moment, her voice falling to a whisper.

"Sometimes I wonder if the Rule of Four was ever worth it..."

I stepped forward, gentler this time.

"Katherine... Kat... please. Tell me what's really going on. What is the truth? What is the REAL Rule of Four about?"

I waited for Kat's response--but she stayed silent. I wanted answers. I deserved them, after everything that happened. I pressed her for more.

"The way those rules were worded... they rolled off Hannah's tongue with such precise ease, like she'd been saying them for years before I joined. Like they were always meant for four people."

I paused, my voice shaking.

"Please, Kat. I know I fucked up--not telling Tom about the forfeit when I had every chance. But none of you had the right to let him find out like that. What did Simon tell him? And more importantly... why is Hannah doing this?"

Kat stood there for a long moment; eyes fixed on me--but not really looking at me. It was like she was staring through me, at something only she could see.

Then, finally, she moved.

She pulled out her phone and began swiping. I clutched the rogue figurine tight to my chest, fresh tears slipping down my cheeks.

Kat paused mid-swipe, her eyes catching on me, clutching the rogue figurine like a lifeline. Her expression softened, a flicker of understanding crossing her face.

"You actually love him, don't you?"

I blinked, caught off guard. "What?"

"Tom," she repeated. "You weren't faking it, were you? The whole month after you sent us the forfeit pic--the semi-ghosting, the distant looks whenever we met up, the forced giggles when Rachel or I told a lame joke. Us meeting you and Han.. I mean Tom" she let off a small giggle at that.

"He sure looked extra handsome when he dressed up, didn't he Jessica? I didn't even realise "nerds" had muscles under their baggy clothes! Tom must have been the exception, eh?" She offered a soft smile, a weak attempt at levity.

I didn't answer. I didn't need to. I knew she was trying to break the ice--and she wasn't wrong. Tom was hot, especially when we tricked the girls with his Hank persona. A loving smile adorned my lips at the memory, a smile Kat saw.

Kat nodded slowly, her lips pressing into a thin line. "That smile right there, I've only seen that once before."

She crossed the room and perched on the edge of my bed, as if standing was too heavy for what she needed to say..

Then she turned her phone to face me.

On the screen was a photo of a girl, maybe sixteen. Long blonde hair, bright green eyes, a soft smile. She looked like--

"Kat... who is that? And why does she look like me?"

"Her name is Lily," she said. "Rachel and I met her in our first week of high school. Hannah already knew her--even before any of us came into the picture. Thick as thieves. Practically inseparable. Kind of a no-brainer since they were childhood friends. Rachel and I joined them not long after. The four of us clicked instantly."

She glanced at me.

"And that's when we made the Rule of Four."

I sat still, letting the words settle. Urging her to continue.

"It wasn't... like what it is now," Kat went on, her voice distant, like she was unspooling a memory she hadn't touched in years. "The rules were jokey. Stupid. Stuff like 'steal a guy's hoodie' or 'see who can get the most Insta likes on a thirst trap.' Even back each other up if one of us needed help. It was all harmless."

She swallowed hard. "The one rule that remained consistent, even back then, was no attachments, no boyfriends. But it was more of a soft boundary than some twisted 'use guys for their dicks' manifesto. We were just figuring things out. Hannah, however, was different. Even with Lily as her best friend, she always had this... intensity. Like she was determined to be ahead of everyone."

Kat glanced away, then back.

"Lily was the romantic. Said she'd wait for Mr. Right, no matter what. Not even Hannah could pressure her. She used to tease Lily all the time--said she was dreaming. Meanwhile, she bragged about losing her V-card not long after her 16th birthday. Rachel and I held out for a while, but eventually lost ours at 17. Well... You know how mine happened. But Rachel? Sometimes I wonder. Hannah was... persuasive. If I had to guess, I'd say she probably orchestrated Rachel's first time as well, but Rachel never talked about it. And I never had the nerve to ask. But Lily? She stuck to it. Never cared about peer pressure. Never caved."

Kat paused for a moment. I saw her close her eyes before she continued.

"Then Lily surprised us all. It was prom night--our final year of high school. We were planning to go together, the four of us, having one last hurrah before heading off to uni. Hannah, Rachel, and I were waiting at the entrance, ready to set the town on fire. That's when Lily showed up... with a date on her arm."

She took a breath.

"That was the first time I saw Hannah lose it. None of us were prepared."

I raised an eyebrow. "I take it Hannah didn't approve of him?"

Kat gave a rueful smile. "That would be an understatement. In fact... you and she have something in common. Lily's man? Total nerd."

My eyes widened at that, this was becoming way too freaky, I looked exactly like Hannah's childhood friend, and we both fell in love with nerds?

"That wasn't all," Kat said. "While Hannah was mid-rant, demanding to know how long this had been going on, Rachel unintentionally escalated Hannah's anger. She pointed at Lily's hand and shouted, 'Lily! What the fuck is that?!' We saw it--her ring finger. Typical Lily smiled with that sparkle in her eye and told us he proposed on Pi Day."

My breath caught. That sounds like something Tom could've done.

"Hannah snapped. Launched herself at Lily, yelling that she was betraying the group. That she was breaking the rules--our rules. But none of us remembered making those rules. Not the way Hannah recited them."

"So what happened?" I asked.

"She left," Kat said. "Lily left the group. She told us she was moving states to go to uni with her fiancé. Hannah never forgave her."

Kat took a shaky breath.

"And that's when everything changed. The Rule of Four stopped being about fun. It became doctrine. Punishment.

No Attachments -- No Falling in Love.

Obey the Circle -- Loyalty Without Question.

Always Be Seen -- Always Be Desired.

Share Everything -- Even Partners.

We didn't agree to the new rules. We just... followed them."

"The version we gave you--the one with the stupid 'be seen, don't cry' stuff? That was a half-truth. We kept it light, on purpose. But after Lily left... Hannah rewrote the rules. She twisted them into commandments. No room for small jokes. Just complete control."

My heart pounded in my chest. Everything was clicking into place. Every unspoken glance. Every uncomfortable moment I had brushed aside, why was Hannah so desperate to... then it clicked.

"I was Lily's replacement," I whispered.

Kat nodded slowly. "You reminded Hannah of her. Same energy. Same spark. Rachel and I knew she missed Lily. So she'd shape you before you had a chance to get away. That's why she was so adamant about you losing your virginity quickly. But the process had to be done without breaking you fully... and without you falling in love."

"But I did fall," I said, voice cracking. "For Tom."

Kat looked at me, eyes wet. "Yeah... the Monday after you sent Hannah that pic, we saw your face. You said you were fine, but we knew. That was the face of someone falling in love. And Hannah? She lost it. Rachel and I just froze--she was that irate. Eventually, she calmed down, but she didn't have to say it out loud. We knew she was thinking about Lily. She tried so hard to keep our group together after Lily went away, even going as far as breaking me and Nathan up... to the point of making Nathan..." Her voice cracked.

I stayed silent as I watched Kat bring her hands to her face, wiping away the tears.

"Kat... are you still...?"

She cut me off before I could finish.

"Yeah. I never stopped loving him," she whispered. "He couldn't even look at me in the eyes after what Hannah made him do. That's why he transferred to a new campus before sophomore year, without even saying goodbye." She took a shaky breath.

"He never liked Hannah. He warned me, over and over. But I was so deep in it... I couldn't get out without burning the whole thing down."--She slowed down, gathering herself before she carried on.