"What am I doing here? This is wrong. I should go." But no matter how she tried to rationalize to herself what she was doing there, she couldn't take her mind off the task that lay before her. This *was* wrong. It was breaking every rule in the book. But she just had to see; she just had to find out what it was like.
She approached his office door, shaking with a mix of fear and excitement. Could she really do this? She had to know; so she would do this.
She knocked softly on the semi-opened door. He wasn't really expecting her, but she didn't think he'd mind. He was probably in a constant state of expectation, what with all the innuendoes flying.
"Come in?" he sounded a bit confused. Who would come by now? The day was almost over.
"Julian? Hi. It's just me." She flashed him an alluring smile and tried to compose herself. She wasn't counting on him looking so attractive. He always made her nervous. But in a very twisted way, she liked it.
She stood there staring at him, memorizing everything about him. His soulful brown eyes, his chiseled features, and his brown wavy hair all had a strange effect on her. To her, he was the most attractive worker at the college, and she lusted after this man. She had since she first met him.
"Adrian. What can I do for you?" When she didn't immediately respond, he took the time to admire the young beauty. He had never seen anyone quite like her. She was tall, slim and utterly gorgeous. With her light skin, deep green eyes and long black hair, she stood apart from everyone he had previously met. He form was one most women would love to have: long, slim legs meeting a narrow waist and a healthy bust line. She was, in fact, they type of person you love to hate.
Despite her looks, she was one of the most intelligent, amusing and overall delightful people he had the pleasure of working with. And that was why he was attracted to her. He knew, because of the "rules," he shouldn't be, but couldn't help it. She just had that essence about her: men wanted her and women wanted to be her. But right now, there seemed to be more to her than before.
"Are you feeling alright, Julian? You look a bit odd." Her sweet melodic voice filled his small office.
"I'm doing just fine." It wasn't a complete lie. "This is a pleasant surprise, Adrian. What's going on?" Just looking at her, he could feel that familiar sensation in his lower stomach that had kept him up many, many nights. Christ! Not now!
"I need to talk to you about something kind of private. Do you mind if I shut your door?"
"Of course not." He didn't know exactly how wise that was, but he couldn't very well say so to her.
She stepped all the way into his office and shut the door behind her, cutting off all noise and movement just outside his office. She knew she was crazy for doing this. But now she was at the point of no return.
She stood facing the door for a moment longer trying to control her flying thoughts. It was now or never...
"What I wanted to talk to you about... this is hard. Okay. See, I like this guy, and I think he kind of likes me. And I want to try to take things to the next level, but I'm not sure how." She was still facing the door, afraid to look at him and see the questions in his eyes.
He stared at her back for what seemed like eternity. Did he hear her correctly? She was trying to talk to him about her personal life? Strange.
"Okay. But why come to me? Wouldn't your girlfriends be able to help you better than I could?"
She took a deep breath and slowly turned around. Finally she looked into his eyes and saw the true confusion there. Inwardly, she smiled to herself. He really didn't understand, did he? She let her carnal desire for him show briefly in her eyes as she devoured his exquisite appearance. As quickly as it was there, it was gone again.
"I could go to my friends, but they wouldn't understand. I think you would."
Now he was getting confused. And a little bit angry. How could she possibly think to talk about her private life with him? She obviously didn't realize how much he desired her. She obviously didn't realize how close he was to jumping her right there. Of course he wouldn't understand. He would never understand how someone at youthful and desirous as she could be so blind.
"How would I understand? I'm no longer in college with the pressures of college love. I really think you should talk to someone else about this." He was starting to show his agitation.
"No, I really think you could help me more than them. See, they guy I like... well, it's difficult to explain, really. There are many obstacles keeping us apart. And I think that once we acknowledge them, things will be alright."
He stared blankly at her. She couldn't possibly be taking about him, could she? No. That's just his lust taking over his mind. But she was so gorgeous standing there staring at him.
"W-Well," he stuttered. "What kind of obstacles are there? If you guys really like each other, then they shouldn't matter too much. Right?"
Why was he helping her have an affair with someone else? "This guy" was most likely a married man looking for a quick piece of young ass, not fully knowing the girl he was going to fuck. Now if that guy she was into was him... Ah, but he couldn't think about the impossible. Tonight, when he was home, he would think about the two of them together and get off. His usual ritual for as long as he cared to remember. That's the best he could hope for. That's the best he would get.
"That's what I think too. I'm so glad you feel the same way. It will make this next part much easier. The big problem is that this guy... well, it could jeopardize his career if we were to be caught. But I think that it would be okay. I mean, we would be discreet and no one would know about it. This is assuming, of course, that he feels the same way I do. I don't even know how he feels about me."
"Adrian..." he started. The mere mention of her name on his lips melted her. He was looking down at his desk, avoiding eye contact with her. Softly, he continued. "He would be an idiot not to return your feelings."
Her heart was beginning to race. She had thought about this moment for two years. Two fucking years. Now it was time to make her dreams a reality.
"Do you really think so, Julian? I mean, I'm really scared to tell him."
Still looking down he replied "If the guy has any sense in him, he'd feel the same way. Adrian, I really shouldn't be saying these kinds of things to you. You're a student. I'm not. I could get my ass fired."
"I know, but thanks for talking to me. You really helped me out."
"You're welcome, but I really didn't say a whole lot. I guess you figured it out on your own." Good. Now she would leave and this torture would be over.
"There's just one more thing I think you should know."
She waited to see what his reaction would before doing or saying anything else. When it was obvious he wouldn't say or do anything at all, she continued.
"This guy..." she took a deep breath. "This guy is you."
Silence. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. This girl, this student, this gorgeous creature, desired him? Closing his eyes, he recalled all their previous encounters and wondered how he could NOT have known. It was so obvious looking back. Twenty-twenty hind sight. Go figure.
"Adrian... I don't know what to say. Honestly I don't. I guess I could start with 'I feel the same way' but that's really so clichéd." He took a long breath. "But what are the chances that it could actually work?" He looked up at her. Damn, but she was exquisite.
She walked toward his desk where he was sitting. He could smell the faint fragrance she always wore. "Ralph Lauren's Romance" she once told him. It suited her perfectly. That feeling in the pit of his stomach increased. What was he going to do now?
"You just told me that if two people feel the same way about each other, what would the obstacles really matter? And you admitted to me that you feel the same way. Julian..." she paused looking for the right words. "If you really want me to go, I will. But just promise me you'll think about what I've told you. I want you. And now I know you want me too. It could work. We could work. Just think about it, okay?"
Feeling utterly defeated, she started walking back towards the door. She tried so hard not to let the tears form in her eyes. Her want for him had somehow managed to grow into a need. And he just shot her down. What a fucking life.
"Adrian, wait. I don't want you to go. I think we should talk about this." What more could he say to her? He wanted her. She wanted him. It all seemed so simple. When she still hesitated, he told her, "Shut the door, Adrian."
Never one to disobey orders, Adrian did as she was told. But she still could not face him. Her emotions were not yet controlled enough to face him, face his rejection. She never should have taken such a stupid chance. How would this affect their professional relationship? She couldn't even fathom the thought that she might have to start working for someone else, but that's what this could lead to.
"Look at me. Please."
Adrian slowly turned away from the door, but kept her eyes on the floor. A few more deep breaths and she should be okay. Breathe. Just breathe. She finally lifted her head and instead of seeing contempt or disgust in his eyes, she saw his desire. Christ Almighty. What had she done?
He stood from his chair and closed the distance between them. He was now standing over her, looking down into her pale face and deep eyes. He lifted a hand to turn off the lights and lock the door. The room was almost completely dark, except for the faint light streaming through from the crack between the door and the floor. Though it wasn't much, it was enough to see so that they wouldn't kill themselves. He laid one hand on her shoulder, and caressed her face with the other.
"Julian. I thought you wanted to talk." Her voice was meek as she tried to still the slight tremors raking through her body caused by his gentle touch.
"Adrian, you are so beautiful. Tell me this isn't a dream. Tell me you want me."
"Julian..." she began.
"Tell me Adrian. Please."
