There's no sex in this story and no BTB
The house seemed quieter when I came home from work, there was no reason it should be noisier since my wife wouldn't be home for another hour. The bedroom seemed different when I went up to change, nothing in particular was apparent. My wife Anna had been throwing up when I left, half my staff had been out sick making it seem like Covid all over again except people weren't dying.
After getting changed, I headed into the kitchen to start dinner. Anna and I had been taking turns cooking dinner since are youngest joined the military five months ago. Taking turns wasn't really working out since I was cooking most nights, especially for the last month.
I noticed the note on the table when I walked into the kitchen. In large letters in said, "sorry." On top of the note were two positive pregnancy test strips. Since I had a vasectomy ten years ago, it could only mean Anna had been cheating on me. She was in her early fifties, a little old to be carrying a baby to term I thought.
In my fucked up mind, that's where my head was running.
Trying to focus on something else, I headed upstairs. The bedroom had seamed different because all of her stuff was gone, dresser, closet, bathroom all empty. There must be some truth to the statement that men are stupid, she was cheating on me, got pregnant and moved all her stuff out and I never noticed.
Anna had been easy to anger over the last couple of months, maybe it was longer. I had tried to give her space and hide from her random outburst. I think the first true emotion I felt was relief, the war was over, no more skirmishes, no more cold shoulders, no more sleeping in the guest room.
The thought of sleeping made me wonder if he fucked her in our bed. I stripped the sheets and tossed them in the washer and I sprayed the pillows down with disinfectant and tossed them in the dryer. Tomorrow it was time for shopping, tonight I had to flip the king size mattress.
There are no other memories from that night. I refused to cry, what would I be crying for? She cheated on me, good riddance.
Lots of other shit creeped in the next morning after I called out sick for the rest of the week. Would she have told me if she didn't get pregnant? How long was her affair going on? Was I ever served sloppy seconds? Those thoughts were pointless.
My cell was ringing, my lawyer was calling me. Bill had been my parents' lawyer and our family lawyer for wills and all that shit.
"Good morning Jack, Anna called me yesterday saying you guys were getting divorced. Is that your understanding?"
"Anna left two positive pregnancy tests on the kitchen table yesterday with a note that said sorry. I had a vasectomy years ago so there's only one thing to conclude. To be honest, I'm having trouble processing shit since that, and her empty closets greeted me when I came home from work last night."
"I understand Jack, she never mentioned the pregnancy or the whys, just outlined her terms for the divorce, very generous terms for you by the way. I'm not committed to represent either of you although I've been your family's lawyer for three generations now. Do this for me Jack, let it sink in, maybe get drunk for one night and come in the office on Friday so we can go over her proposal. And Jack, you should protect yourself financially, close the joint credit cards and start splitting the checking accounts and whatever else you have. Also, bring a list of your financials when you come in.
Anna's settlement offer was very generous. My retirement and 401k would be left intact. She wanted half the value of the house when it sold or I could buy her out. Anna would keep her car which was leased in her name and the jewelry she accumulated over the years. If I agreed, Bill said he could represent us both and file the papers, we would be divorced in three months or so. I agreed.
My daughter Jenny was sitting on the front steps when I got home, it was a three hour drive from her school. She had been crying and was crying as I walked up the sidewalk. Jenny ran up and hugged me burying her face in my shoulder.
"You could have gone in hon, the keycode is the same."
"Mom called me last night and gave me the news, I'm so sorry Dad. I had my hand on that doorknob a dozen times in the last hour but I couldn't go in." We sat down on the steps again.
"Did you know dad?"
"Not a clue hon, I am the classic clueless husband." That started another round of tears and I began to wonder if she was my ally or her mother's.
"Did you know Jenny?"
"Not until she called me, and then a bunch of little things seemed to mesh together, little things she would say during our weekly phone calls that fell into place after I hung up on her. I was so angry at her. What the fuck was she thinking."
"Did she offer any why's."
"None, she said she had an affair and ended up pregnant. She added that she started divorce proceedings."
"Did she say who?"
"Nope and I asked. She said knowing who wasn't going to help anything or anybody."
We both had to pee, so Jenny finally entered the house she lived all her life in. I put on coffee.
"Why couldn't you come in Jenny?"
"This was our home dad and she shit all over it. There's something physically different about it."
"It took me awhile to figure out what was different. There are several pictures missing, all of our wedding photos are gone. There's a lot of our little knickknacks missing and little things from vacations and such. Also, the lithograph we bought on our honeymoon in Bermuda. I'm assuming your mother took them with her."
"That's odd, why take mementos of a marriage you destroyed? Do you know where she went."
"Nope, we use to have the cell phone tracker turned on but I haven't looked. What would be the point?"
"Can I look on your phone dad, I want to see her face when I ask her why she destroyed our family?"
Anna had turned the permission off on her phone and refused to respond to any of Jenny's calls or texts. On Sunday she had to head back to school. The house was too quiet after she left.
I had scheduled a meeting for my staff first thing Monday morning and let them know I was getting divorced and asked for their patience in the coming weeks if I was short tempered. Bob, the resident wise ass wanted to know about the last three years. My admin gave me a hug with a tear in her eye. Jesse stayed behind, which wasn't unusual for her. She was my right hand person and she was being groomed to be my replacement when I retired in five years or so.
"How can I help you Jack," she asked.
"There isn't much to do, the divorce papers are signed and moving through the courts, I'm going to buy out Anna's share of the house so I don't need to move or anything. Anna left me financially intact."
"What happened Jack, you never gave any indication that there was any trouble at home."
"I didn't know there was any trouble at home until I found the positive pregnancy tests on the kitchen table with a note that said, "sorry." I had a vasectomy a decade ago so I am not the father. Please don't share that with anyone."
Jesse had tears in her eyes as she said ok and left my office. My admin Cheryl came in right after with a fresh cup of coffee. I tried to get her to stop that years ago and gave up.
"Jack, if there's anything I can do for you, please let me know. There's a good counselor I can recommend. Don't try and be the tough guy cause this shit will eat you like cancer."
I took her advice and asked her to book me an appointment. The counselor was an older woman meaning about me age. I explained the divorce and she asked me what I wanted out of counseling.
"The thing that scares me," I said, "is the complete lack of emotion I have felt since I read the note. The only thing I felt was relief because she had been so easy to anger over the last couple of months and I had been trying to hide from her random outburst."
She said, "That's not unusual behavior for a man Jack, I'm sure this isn't the first time you've been hurt, maybe it was a girlfriend in high school. Men build up a shield so they can be the tough guy. Someday that shield will collapse and I want to see you after that happens."
She asked a bunch of other questions whether I was sleeping and if I was drinking and then sent me home.
Anna disappeared off the planet. Occasionally the kids would receive a letter from her, initially begging their forgiveness and she gave them an email address they could use to contact her. The post marks revealed she wasn't that far away. She stopped all contact with her parents and siblings. No one knew where she was living or if she had the baby. I was the one who told her family that she was pregnant.
Over the next two years, Jesse and I grew closer. Some people might refer to her as my work wife. It had never been unusual for us to take lunch together. I tried to do that with all my staff, Jesse and I just had more projects together. Maybe I was fooling myself.
There's nothing written about the loneliness after divorce. All those dinners with your spouse, breakfasts, snuggles at bedtime, kisses good night, I could go on and on how all those things just go poof. Dinner was with the TV every night, breakfast becomes a cup of coffee and the weather and the weekends are mind numbing.
I had hobbies, I liked to jog and workout. What I didn't have was someone to talk to, but Jesse started filling that roll. Most of our discussions revolved around work. We had always talked about our home life but after the divorce I didn't have much of a home life. Jesse filled that gap, mostly stuff her and her family did over the weekend. Bitches and complaints about her husband Denny started slipping in.
And I started the afterhours texting, maybe because I was so fucking bored and couldn't leave work at work. Great ideas would pop into my head, usually while jogging and I would send those ideas to Jesse. Sometimes those texts were eight at night or noon on a weekend. Sometimes Jesse would respond with a simple ok. But there were other times when there would be a series of texts going back and forth as we flushed out my great idea.
Everything in the world is a slippery slope, maybe that's how Anna ended up pregnant.
