What follows is a tragedy and ultimately a love story. As in life, it contains some distressing events including a description of assisted suicide. Assisted suicide is a controversial topic and I thought long and hard before including it in my story and I am not advocating its use. It is included because it tells the reader more about one of the protagonists Emily. If you find this distressing please do not read on. There is also a metaphysical part to this story so if this is not to your taste be warned.
All protagonists in this story are over eighteen years old. None of the characters depicted are real and any similarity to real people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
As always, any grammatical errors or typos are mine alone. Whilst I am sorry that they happen, they are almost inevitable on a site hosting stories written by amateurs for fun. Contrary to what the occasional critic may believe, I proofread, many times over, what I have written. Unfortunately, however hard I try, something always slips past. Hopefully, any errors will not prevent readers from enjoying the story.
As I often do, I have included endnotes to explain the story's background to anyone interested. They are included to provide background to the story and sometimes to explain English slang to those readers not familiar with it.
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The Shepherdess
It is almost a decade since my wife, Emily, took her own life. The day she passed, she told me that she loved me and that she would wait for me in heaven, instructed me to live a good and happy life, kissed me goodbye, and drank a glass of burgundy laced with phenobarbital. Then, I held her hand as she lay back in bed and slowly fell asleep. For half an hour, I watched her chest rise and fall under the bed sheets until imperceptibly the movement slowed before she stopped breathing and died. It was only then that I let go of her tiny hand and kissed her forehead, and as I cried for my loss I knew that she was finally at rest.
***
I had known Emily for most of my life. We first met at primary school In Liverpool where we were in the same class. Back then, she lived with her parents on Penny Lane, and I lived not far away with my mum and dad on Church Road, less than half a mile away. Right from the beginning, we were inseparable, and even though we went to different secondary schools we stayed best friends and sometime during our late teens, we found we were dating each other. I don't know that we ever discussed it, but somehow, even then, we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We went our separate ways for a short while when we finished school. Amy remained in Liverpool to study history at the university, whilst I was accepted onto a degree course in physics at the University of Lancaster.
Lancaster is about sixty miles north of Liverpool and was just over an hour by train from Lime Street Station, so staying in touch with one another was relatively easy. Most weekends, one or other of us would board a train on Friday evening to return home on Sunday evening, Our preferred option was for Emily to stay with me in Lancaster because I had my own room (and double bed) away from the prying eyes of my patients, whilst Emily still lived at home with her mum and dad.
***
When I first moved to Lancaster, both Emily and I were virgins - although not for long. The first weekend after I moved, she arrived at my house late on Friday afternoon. I was sharing the house with three other guys and, fortunately, we had not had enough time to turn the communal living space into a tip. Nonetheless, Emily's "clean freak" and bossy sides showed themselves. She spent several hours cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, and then a further half hour hoovering and dusting my room before she declared herself satisfied.
"Do you have clean sheets and pillowcases?" she asked.
"I've only slept on them for a few days."
"I don't plan to lose my virginity in a bed with dirty sheets. Now go and have a shower. When you come back, get into bed, and wait for me."
She picked up a pillow, removed the pillowcase, and then my pyjamas from where I had left them under the pillow. She placed them on the armchair in the corner of the room and then smiled before speaking.
"You'll not need these... and you won't need condoms. Mum and I went to the GP, and I'm on the pill."
***
I stood in the shower and lathered myself. My uncut cock jutted out in front of me, and I covered it in soap and gently pulled the foreskin back and forth a few times. The moment when I would finally put my dick in Emily had finally arrived and I was both excited and frightened in equal measure. My apprehension was born of inexperience. We may have been going out a long time but the most I had ever done was touch her breasts under her sweater when we kissed in the back row of the cinema. I had felt her nipples harden before she took my hand away. I still remember what she said.
"Please stop before I can't control myself. I love you and I will sleep with you. But when I do, it will be in a bed with clean sheets, and we'll take our time. I'll not have a quick knee-trembler in some back alley like a cheap tart. I'm better than that."
Emily had taken charge, as she often did. Most of the time, it suited us both for her to lead and for me to follow, but as I stood naked in the shower it occurred to me that on this occasion I was the one with the penis and Emily would expect me to perform. I desperately wanted to make her happy but wasn't sure how to do It.
I needn't have worried. Emily made sure of that.
***
I lay under the duvet and waited. The room was toasty warm and smelt of freshly laundered sheets and lavender. Emily, organised as ever, had fed the coin-operated gas fire and had remembered to bring both one-pound coins and air freshener.
Shortly, the door opened, and Emily appeared. She turned and locked the door behind herself, before crossing the room and standing at the end of the bed. I saw a pretty brown-eyed girl with ruby-red lips and short black hair smiling down at me.
"Would you like to see what you're going to get?" she asked.
I nodded.
"I didn't hear you."
"Yes, please."
She slowly undid the buttons on the quilted house coat she was wearing, slid it over her shoulders, and let it fall to the floor. For the first time, I saw her naked. She was of medium height with pale white skin, tits the size of grapefruits, narrow hips a big arse, and fleshy thighs. Between them, I could see her hairless slit - Emily had planned well.
"You like?" she enquired.
"Oh, yes. You're beautiful."
She got into bed beside me, rolled over to face me, and kissed me. She smelt and tasted of strawberries and cream. As we embraced I felt her belly pressing hard against my prick, and she must have felt it too because, after a minute or so, she stopped kissing me.
"I want to see," she said and threw back the duvet.
Lying flat on my back, my penis pointed vertically into the air, and I saw Emily studying it.
"You're beautiful too," she murmured, before she leaned towards me and tentatively took it between her fingers.
"Do you touch yourself and think of me?" she asked. "Or do you watch porn? Don't lie. You don't lie well."
"Both," I gasped.
"Well, now you can watch me and then I'm going to give you something you can think about when you're alone."
With her knees bent and legs apart, she licked two fingers and placed them between her legs. Then, as she slowly rubbed herself, her fingers slid up and down my shaft. I moaned in pleasure and Emily's confidence grew. She gripped my foreskin firmly between her fingers and pulled it to cover the penile tip before retracting it to reveal the swollen engorged head - whilst all the while her fingertips moved in a circular motion against herself.
I had never known such pleasure, and as she continued to jerk me, she reached across, took two fingers of my right hand in her left, and guided them to her sex. For the first time, I felt her swollen bud, now slick with her love juice.
