I love pickles. Sweet, dill, big, small, I have a passion for pickles. Therefore I was overjoyed when I met the pickle lady. I chanced upon a farmer's market one Saturday morning in a new part of town. At least it was new to me. There was the obligatory table displaying jars of pickles in various shapes, sizes and flavors. There was a small hand-made sign saying The Pickle Lady and, behind the table the pickle lady herself.
She appeared to be on the far side of 50, like me. She had blonde hair, a buxom figure, a round face and a warm smile. I walked up to her table and said, "Are these pickles for sale?"
"Absolutely," she replied. "Would you like a sample?"
"Sure," I said, "which one would you suggest?"
"What kind of pickles do you like?"
"All kinds," I said.
"Ah, a man after my own heart."
I smiled at that and thought I might also be after her body. I sampled several and bought a couple of jars. As we finished the transaction I said, "Does the pickle lady have a name?"
"Polly," she replied, "Polly Pickle."
"Seriously?"
"Yep. I married a man named Pickle. He was of Italian descent and I believe the original family name was Piccolo but, as so often happened, it was shortened when his ancestors arrived at Ellis Island. Apparently the person who registered them had a sense of humor."
"My name is Dillon, Dillon Sweet, but my friends call me Dill."
"Dill Sweet," she replied, "what an appropriate name for a pickle lover."
"Exactly."
"Well I hope you enjoy your pickles and come back and see me. I'm here every Saturday morning."
I did enjoy the pickles and I was there, bright and early, the following Saturday. As I approached her table she gave me a big smile and said, "Mr. Sweet, it's nice to see you again. Did you enjoy your pickles?"
"Indeed I did," I replied, "and I've come back for more."
As I sampled her wares we chatted and I asked her, "Are you married?"
"Used to be," she said "but my husband died several years ago. How about you?"
"Same as you, used to be married but my wife passed away about six months ago."
"I'm sorry to hear that," she said.
"Thank you," I replied.
"Well, enjoy your pickles, Dill."
"Thank you, Polly."
The next Saturday I was back at her table again. She smiled and said, "Mr. Sweet you're becoming my best customer."
"So it would seem," I said, "do you give discounts to good customers?"
"I'll have to think about that," she said. "I've never done that but that's not a bad idea."
She pondered for a moment and then she said, "Instead of a discount how would you like a demonstration?"
"That sounds interesting," I said, "what did you have in mind?"
"Are you doing anything special this afternoon?"
"No," I said.
"Then why don't you come out to my place and I'll show you some of the amazing things I can do with pickles."
"Sounds good to me."
She gave me directions to her house and I left with a smile on my face and some questions in my mind.
Her house was out in the country. Her directions were good and I soon found a small house at the end of a quiet lane. The house appeared to be well-maintained and it was surrounded by rows and rows of - you guessed it - cucumber vines - also well maintained.
As I got out of my car she came out onto the porch.
"I heard you drive up," she said. "Thanks for coming."
"Thanks for asking," I replied.
"Let me show you my cucumber plants and then we'll go inside for a glass of iced tea, or something stronger if you prefer," she said.
"Sounds delightful."
She gave me the tour, explaining the various varieties, pointing out which were the best for each pickle variety, even a bit of the history of cucumbers. After a while she said, "Well it's getting rather warm out here. Why we don't go inside where it's cooler."
"Show me the way," I said.
She laughed and said, "Follow me."
I followed her into her house. It was small but very neat and tidy and not at all fussy. She apparently was not one of those women who believe in nick-nacks and that was, to me, an admirable trait.
"Very nice," I said.
"Thank you. What would like to drink. I have iced tea or cold beer. Name your poison."
"I'll have whatever you're having," I said.
"I think I'll have a beer. As they say, it's five o'clock somewhere."
I laughed and she went into the kitchen, returning shortly with two steins of beer. She set them both down on a coffee table in front of the sofa and sat down, From the side by side placement of the steins I deduced that she wanted me to sit beside her so I did. I took a taste of the beer and then another and remarked, "This is excellent beer. What kind is it?"
"It's home made," she said.
"Really? It's excellent. You are a woman of many talents."
"Thank you," she said, "it's refreshing to meet a man with good taste."