The Perils of Love

We left the airport and headed straight to the Family Night festivities at Sunny's campus. Even though it was my third time there, it was as if I was seeing the place with fresh eyes. That I was no longer a student, added to the fact Sunny was my betrothed, gave me cause to live vicariously. We all enjoyed scrumptious snack-sized bites and delicious sweets from dozens of eateries and bakeries around town which catered the event. I think the only time Sunny and I weren't holding hands was when we were eating or going to the bathroom.

As late evening drew near, we made our way to Sunny's brand-spanking-new dorm building for a quick tour. Sunny showed us around then asked us to wait in a lounge while she returned to her room. I noticed she was carrying her backpack when she returned. As we walked to the parking lot, Jerry popped a question I hadn't considered and wasn't expecting.

"What hotels have you stayed at here?"

My mind raced when I saw Sunny's eyes fly wide in a panic. I didn't want to lie to my future father-in-law or give him any reason to doubt what I'd told him in the airport.

"I've stayed at the Best Western. They have decent rooms with king beds. There was a pull-out sofa, too."

It was a completely honest answer.

"That happens to be where we're booked. You drive."

He tossed me the keys to their van. Everyone loaded in, and I drove us all to the hotel I'd only stayed in one night. I noticed the parking lot was almost full, and a bit of panic set in because I'd forgotten to book anything anywhere.

My fear was amplified even more when the front desk clerk said as we entered, "If you don't have a reservation, I'm afraid we're full. We've got some blocked rooms which will be released at eight o'clock, but there's a few already on the waitlist for them."

Jerry checked in, then I went to the desk prepared to beg for my life. I was hoping they'd have a room on maintenance block they'd let me take, considering I didn't care if the heater wasn't working, or the TV was on the fritz. Then I remembered what my supervisor had suggested and offered the clerk my business card.

She said, "You're in luck. We keep four rooms on reserve for our corporate accounts. I was about to unblock them in about a half hour. Would you prefer a standard or suite?"

"What's the price difference?"

She tapped keys, then said, "Your company rate is the same for both."

I wagged my eyebrows at her, and she laughed.

"

Duh

! Of course!"

I chuckled lightly as she finished registering and checking me in. My heart finally slowed. Disaster averted! I had assumed I would stay the night with Sunny in her dorm room. I hadn't even reserved a rental car because Janette said they'd pick me up at the airport.

After I'd collected my key, I returned to the group.

"Mr. Keller, I have some news about your cattle. I might have found something. I'm in room 314. Once you all get settled in, come knock. I'm in a suite, so there should be plenty of room to spread out papers."

"A suite, huh? Fancy."

"Yeah. Corporate perk."

"That must be rough," he said with a chuckle. "Give us ten or fifteen minutes."

"I'm going to wait with Gary, Dad," Sunny said as we all walked to the elevators, JJ holding my hand.

The Keller family, sans Samantha, exited the elevator at the second floor. As soon as the doors closed, Sunny let out a deep sigh and said, "Oh. I thought we were

dead

."

"Yeah, me, too. I was about to freak out when your dad asked that question. I couldn't say, 'The last two nights I was here, I shared your daughter's bed in her dorm room,' now, could I?"

We both laughed in relief.

Room 314 was at the end of the corridor. I unlocked the door and we entered. It was a touch cool inside, so I ticked the thermostat up two degrees after turning on several lights.

"How did you manage to score a suite?" Sunny asked, scoping out the room which had a kitchenette behind a bar-like counter separating it from the front lounge-like room. The bedroom was down a short hallway past the bathroom.

"You're not going to believe this. My boss … you know, the one whose crotch you wanted to kick? I told her I needed to be away this weekend because I wanted to make damn sure she didn't have any surprises waiting for me like the California trip.

"She asked what made it important, and I told her I was planning on proposing to you. When I said where I was going, she informed me the company has a sales office here in town and that this chain has a corporate benefit. All they'd need to see was my badge or a business card. It completely slipped my mind to reserve a room! I'll bet every hotel around here is packed. And we got here just in time, too. If we'd have waited thirty more minutes, this room would have been gone."

I took Sunny into my arms and kissed her tenderly.

"Oh. My. God," I sighed.

She cooed dreamily, "What is it, baby?"

"I just properly kissed my fiancée for the very first time." I kissed her again. "Were you surprised when you saw me come off the plane? Are you happy?"

"Yes. And

hell

yes."

"Sunny said a curse!" I said, emulating her brother's squeaky voice.

My mimicry made her laugh. "JJ is such a goofball."

She smiled at me and settled her head on my shoulder as I stroked her warm bottom.

"Can I tell you a little secret?" she whispered so closely in my ear I could feel her breath.

"Absolutely."

"I'm horny."

"Why do you tempt me like that, woman? You are so

evil

," I growled at her, pinching her butt.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye. "I brought a bag."

"I'm beginning to wonder if that might be a bad idea," I admitted to her.

The incredible events of the day, added to what my fiancée said, made me doubt my discipline.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize. We need to be strong for each other."

"I guess I should ask if our boundaries change now that we're engaged."

I sat in a chair and thought about it. She'd posed a good question. We started chatting about it, and, of course, that was when there was a knock on the door.

I hoped like hell I wasn't blushing from the very intimate discussion Sunny and I were having about our self-imposed rules because a bright-red face or a delay could look suspicious.

I quickly opened the door, invited Sunny's parents in, and gestured toward the table.

"So, what have you found?" Jerry asked.

"I wouldn't take this for anything other than a complete outsider's analysis of data."

I withdrew the papers from my bag to organize my plots in rows and columns on the table.

"See here, here, and here?" I asked, pointing to where the trends on each began to diverge. "All of these trend backward, including Arby. These four don't follow the prior norms. But you already know that."

"Yeah," Jerry agreed, putting on his reading glasses.

He leaned forward, studying the plots with his arms folded on the edge of the table.

"Mr. Keller, is it at all possible someone could have switched Big Jay for another bull? Like, maybe swapped ear tags?"

Jerry reclined against the back of his chair and stared at me over his glasses.

"I don't see how it'd be possible. The tags are designed to be tamper-proof."

"That's what I've been told," I said. "But ears aren't."

He removed his glasses, maintaining his gaze. "What are you suggesting?"

"Again, sir, I'm a nobody when it comes to cattle. But I'm pretty good with numerical analysis. The spouse of one of my coworkers was a cattleman in Texas. I asked him to review your registration papers, as well as my theory, and he agrees with me. He told me it's happened before, and people have gone to jail for it.

"He told me how it's possible to remove a tag and surgically place it in another bull's ear and suture the slit around it. He said it takes less than a month to heal and for the fur to grow back around it. If you razor-shaved the ear, you might find a telltale scar."

Janette put her hand on Jerry's arm. I saw him turning red.

"Jerry, the dates line up. Remember?" she said.

"Yeah, I remember."

He stood from his chair and started pacing the room, rubbing his brow.

"Dad, what is it? What's going on?" Sunny asked.

"Sherman Grant. It was him. It had to be," he began. "Grant offered me stud fees for Big Jay. He trailered him to a farm in Nebraska. When he brought him … or

whatever

back, I noticed scabs on his ears. Grant said Big Jay had gotten caught in some loose barbed wire. I had no reason to doubt his explanation."

"You didn't notice he looked different?" Sunny challenged.

"You're the one who named him, Samantha," her father countered mildly. "Did

you

notice?"

She sheepishly shook her head.

"Well, the only way to confirm it is a DNA test, and we don't have anything to use as a reference sample for Jay."

"Yeah," Janette said, "we do."

Jerry looked at her with surprise on his face.

"I think I still have a few of his AI straws in one of the LN

2

tanks."

"You

what

?!"

"I know," she said, holding up her palm toward him. "You asked me to destroy all of them after Arby was calved. But … I haven't. I'm pretty sure at least two of them were collected before you sent Jay to Grant's place. I can check the codes when we get home tomorrow."

"Oh my

god

!"

Jerry ran over and pulled Janette off her seat and hugged her tightly, lifting her off the floor. Her legs swung like she was a rag doll. She squealed happily at his actions.

"Oh, that's

perfect

! Thank you, hon!"

He kissed her squarely and deeply, and I reflexively turned away from the display.

When their affection ended, Jerry asked, "Gary, does this hotel have a bar? I think I owe you a beer."

"Uh, I don't think so, sir." I smiled.

"Well, some other time then?"

"Yes, sir."

He laughed. "Would you

please

stop calling me that?"

"No, sir." I laughed, too. "Not yet."

"When you're up to it, please call me Jerry. That'll do for now."

"Yes, sir."

"Samantha, you've found yourself one hell of a good guy."

"Yeah, Daddy, I know," she said to him with a wide smile.

All four of us sat around the table while Janette and Jerry discussed a plan. He described how people who steal cattle usually take them straight to market or auction for sale. Big Jay would not likely be sold because he was a prize-winning bull. Before he was taken, many of his offspring had sold for premiums at auctions, so he believed the Grant fellow probably had him squirreled away somewhere enhancing his own herds. If Jerry could prove it, then all of Jay's progeny, regardless of where they were, would be deemed Jerry's property.

After an hour or so of conversation, Jerry asked Sunny, "You ready to head back to your dorm? I'll drive you over, or Gary can use the van and take you."

"No, Daddy, I'm not going back there tonight," Sunny said.

"I don't know if we can fit you in our room unless we have JJ sleep on the floor," he countered.

Sunny remained silent but maintained solid eye contact with her father. They stared at each other for several moments.

Janette calmly said, "Come on, honey. Gary and Sunny haven't seen each other in months, and I'm sure they want some time alone. It'll be okay. Let's leave them be."

She looked at me and added, "We can all meet for breakfast downstairs at eight o'clock. We'll take you to the airport afterwards. Sunny, remember what we talked about, okay, sugar?"

"Yes, Mama. I promise."

The two left the suite, leaving me standing there in mild shock as the door closed.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you just tell your father that you intend to stay the night in your boyfriend's hotel room, and he simply walked away? Your mom, too?"

"My

fiancé's

room, Gary, but, yeah, so?"

"I figured he'd come unglued!"

"No, that happened when I told them you were flying me to visit you back in June."

Of course, they knew she was coming to visit me, but it completely failed to cross my mind she might have told them she was staying with me in my apartment instead of a hotel.

"What happened?"

"Dad didn't talk to me for several days. Mom wasn't much better, but I sat them down, reminded them that I'm twenty years old and responsible for my own choices. I also assured them that you are a proper gentleman and I a lady, and I promised them you and I had sworn to each other we'd remain … well,

chaste

. That's the conversation Mom was referring to a minute ago."

"You said it like that?"

"Not in so many words, but yeah. It was the most innocuous way I could think of. I also told them that you've never once pressured me. That kinda brings us back to what we were talking about before they came. The rules of engagement, pun intended."

"The last thing we were talking about was how

this

is still allowed," I said as I walked her over to the bed, sat down, and pulled her onto me.

We were intimate with each other in our own way and stayed awake together for several delightful hours. Yeah, I know it sounds boring, but we satisfied each other in ways which allowed us to maintain our premarital commitment.

Yes, I remembered to call my parents. My mother was thrilled when the first words out of my mouth when she answered were, "She said yes!"

So, at this point, I'm going to speed up the clock a little. I've got decades more to cover.

Sunny and I were able to get together another half-dozen times before we were finally wed.

For the Thanksgiving holidays, I drove all the way to her place where I was exposed to the eclectic extended family tree from which she'd branched.

I'd been raised in urban and suburban environs. A huge chunk of Sunny's family was, to put it politely, very … rural. There had to have been about a hundred of them at the family reunion and dinner. I was well-received by most of her relatives, but not all.

At the Thanksgiving Day potluck, I was carrying plates of food for Sunny and me to a table when I was tripped by one of her older cousins who was "only having fun," and about broke my arm in the fall. The paper plates released their contents all over the floor and my clothes, and the asshole would have gotten his jaw or nose broken if not for Sunny's father who had been sitting nearby. He grabbed my arm, mid-swing, pulled me back, and intervened before I did something to embarrass Sunny or her family. The cousin reluctantly left the event at the urging of his own father, Janette's younger brother.

The following Christmas, Sunny spent two weeks with me. We spent most of our time planning our wedding, picking and ordering invitations, registering for gifts, and all that good stuff. We drove to my previous home and stayed just shy of a week there.

We did several more "out and back" trips through the spring. Every time we met, our giddiness at our upcoming nuptials increased. Both of us were incredibly excited. My mother and sisters hosted a bridal shower over Easter weekend at my former home. I couldn't be there because I was out of the country, but Sunny, her mother, and sister drove the distance and stayed the weekend there. Jerry and JJ stayed behind.

I flew to Kansas City for the big weekend. We decided the wedding would take place there since it was the epicenter to most of our extended families. Instead of commuting back and forth consuming four hours per day in a car, I stayed in the city and helped arrange things there while Sunny tended to things closer to her home.

I want to mention some things as a preemptive strike to any "You're such a jerk" thoughts.

Three of my buddies agreed to be my groomsmen, and they walked down the aisle with two of Sunny's very elegantly dressed and closest friends and younger sister as bridesmaids. It was a tad odd to see a twenty-three-year-old man walking down the aisle with a young teenager, but we hoped the notes in the program explained the strange pairing. I could barely breathe when I saw Sunny beginning to walk down the aisle, holding her father's arm as he escorted her. Her dress was beyond the definition of beauty.

She'd added highlights to her hair which were stunningly beautiful to the point I wanted to weep as she drew near. I can only say Sunny eclipsed the world with her grace and poise as she approached me at the altar. I was damned-near emotionally overwhelmed from the beginning.

But … yeah.

But

.

The whole event was practically a disaster in every sense of the word. We'd block-reserved twenty rooms for traveling friends and family at a nearby hotel. It was a prominent national chain. They had a few "Pardon our dust! We're improving things for you!" signs around the property. They were re-roofing the building the Friday of the rehearsal. Many of those traveling to the area had already checked in.

Well, the construction workers caught the roof on fire. Somehow, they overheated the tar they were applying. There wasn't any significant damage, but the smoke and smell were horrible, and the inconvenience created for our guests being evacuated for two hours was a bit off-putting.

I don't remember whether it was Sunny or I who laughed it off with a "Well, there's

our

wedding disaster."

Every bride in the world would probably say they had one sort or another, of course, all being relative, but ours weren't over.

We also discovered the photographer Sunny had hired fell ill and had subbed out the job to "a friend." Okay, life happens. No big deal. The substitute didn't show up for the rehearsal. Little deal. The big deal came when, six months after the ceremony, we still hadn't received the pictures and had to hire an attorney to threaten him. Most of the photographs were absolutely horrible. Many snapshots taken with the point-and-shoots used by relatives were better.

I remember the night after rehearsal, just before midnight, Sunny and I talked in the hallway outside my hotel room before she sequestered herself away, observing the custom of the bride not being seen by her groom on the wedding day until the walk to the altar.

Before we parted, Sunny asked, "You aren't getting cold feet, are you?"

"No freaking way. Why would you ask me that?"

She kissed me tenderly, and I held her close. "Only making sure, baby. I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"Okay, my love, you're about to turn into a pumpkin. You'd better go."

She jogged to the elevators then turned and blew me a final kiss before the stroke of midnight.

Saturday arrived. It was the

Big Day

!

The schedule was: Ceremony at 2:00pm. Formal reception at 3:30. Dinner and dance party from 6:00 to midnight.

We opted to use a prerecorded version of Mendelssohn's "Wedding March," because the church in which we were married didn't have an organist or an organ. There were also a few other tracks we selected for various portions of the ceremony. I'd dubbed them all to three separate brand-new cassette tapes.

We'd hired a talented pianist to play while the guests were arriving. Pachelbel's Canon in D was to be played during the unity ceremony, and Beethoven's Ode to Joy during the recessional. We'd listened to her play at her house and her renditions gave us both goosebumps.

That was the plan, except someone at the church, apparently not knowing there was a wedding on the calendar, decided the grand piano needed some sort of minor repair so it was out of commission. The only other piano in the building was a horribly out-of-tune spinet in the kids' choir room.

I thanked my lucky stars the pianist had provided us demo tracks on tape, and I gave it to the sound guy.

Halfway through "Canon in D," the audio went dead. I saw the pastor staring at the man in the booth. Nothing happened. The sound guy shrugged heavily and mouthed the word

Sorry

!