The Pacage

Now it was the night of the dinner, and she was abominably nervous. Should she tell him tonight or leave it a while? He was so understanding she wanted to get it over with and be honest and open about it. But selfishly, she also wanted to get to know him better before running the risk of losing him. Ah well, she wasn't going to make any decision, she'd just have to let the moment take her.

Suzanne slipped into her black dress and watched as the sheer fabric settled round her breasts, clung to her stomach and flared over her hips. The doorbell rang, and she quickly added a choker and shoes before dashing down to answer it.

James' face said it all. She looked a million dollars. He took her hand and brushed a kiss onto the back as they stared into each other's eyes. He looked good too in tailored trousers and open neck shirt.

There's definitely chemistry here, she thought. Then she felt him turn her hand over and brush the palm with another kiss, which sent shivers up her spine and made her traitorous nipples harden again. She knew that they would show through the fabric of her dress, and sure enough she saw his eyes widen slightly and the corners of his mouth turn up.

What she didn't expect, and she thought she could get very attached to, was his quirky remark, "Nice to see you too!"

Suzanne felt herself blush slightly as she grinned at him. She loved the way his remarks were unconventional, and the way he then took her hand and lifted one eyebrow to ask if she was ready to go. She reached back for her purse and followed him out of the door. James opened the door of his car and she was conscious of his eyes on her as she slipped in and pulled her long legs in after her.

When they arrived at the restaurant he had chosen she realised it was the one she had always wanted to go to with the live jazz band. They were shown to a table in the corner near the band, which was playing Norah Jones' "Don't know why". She was telling him about seeing Stacey Kent live, and he commented on how clear her voice and diction was. Norah Jones had opened the restaurant named after her song, and had allowed them to use her song once each night.

While they were scanning the menu, they started exchanging basic information about themselves. He'd been to a private school, university and into computers. His face lit up when he was talking about the changes in direction in his career in computing, and it was clear he loved his job. She told him about her job as a teacher, and realised that he must see her love of the students in her face too.

As Suzanne began to realise that they were not only complimentary, but also had a lot in common, the fear of telling him about her secret grew.

When they were finishing the main course, he suddenly said, "Penny for them."

She was startled, and realised she had been miles away thinking about it. "Can we dance before we order dessert?" she asked.

He took her hand and she felt a tingle at his touch which made her even more certain that what she was going to do was right.

The package

The dance was a slow one, just what she needed for what she was about to say. "James, we really get along well, and I want to be completely honest from the start." She felt his arm tighten around her -- a good sign that gave her voice a little more confidence. "I need to tell you about my secret right now, because I don't want anything to come between us later. I've been hurt too many times." "There's nothing much between us now, and I'd like to get to the stage where there's nothing at all." His usual quirky response made her heart lift and she grinned up at him.

She saw his eyes grow stormy at the thought and realised that she wanted that too. Then she felt really serious as the importance of the next few moments invaded her whole being, so that he continued, "Hey, I'm sorry. Whatever you have to say, let me tell you that you are gorgeous and as of this moment I want to know you better. Of course I can't promise that my reaction to whatever your secret is will be what you hope, but I can promise that I will take you very seriously, and that I will discuss it with you even if it forces us apart."

Suzanne just about remembered to breathe. "You see," she faltered, "I've lived with this all my life. My father left my mother over it." She noticed that his face was as concerned as the first time he met her. "My mother made a stand for me and refused to let the surgeons cut me about, and my father couldn't live with it."

She suddenly realised that the seriousness of the talk had made them stand still, and he was saying, "Let's go and sit down. This is too serious to discuss dancing," while leading her away from the dance floor.

But he didn't take her to their table, but to a settee tucked away in one corner of the bar section. She was again grateful for his understanding.

"I wanted to say it with my head on your chest not looking at you," she said shyly.

He grinned his lovely grin at her, put his arm across her shoulders and rested her head on his chest. "A familiar pose for us" he commented. "You're as nervous as a kitten about this. I know it's really serious, but I WILL NOT dump you. You're on half term, and I can take the morning off tomorrow. We'll talk as long as you want, tonight and tomorrow, at least to start with. Now, if you can, I would be honoured to receive your confidence."

In many ways she felt better, but in one way it made it harder -- she desperately wanted to hang on to him.

"When I was born, the hospital thought I was a boy." Well that was the worst bit over. She sneaked a look up to find him looking at her with one eyebrow raised. "But it was also obvious that I was also a girl, especially as I grew up." She sneaked another look, half expecting him to disown her there and then.

He was looking a bit confused. Well he might be, she thought. In her anxiety, she rushed the next bit.

"You see, I am a girl, but I've got a dick." Well, that's it again, she thought, he'll be off and I won't ever see him again.

"Can I see?" Again he surprised her with his off the wall remark. It was his turn to blush bright brick red, and she loved him for it. "Oh, I'm so sorry. That was much too fast."

In response she just took his hand wordlessly and placed it on her crotch. She felt herself growing hard with the light pressure and warmth of his hand, but she was still a bundle of nerves.

"When I was at school," he began, and she was amazed that he sounded so normal, wasn't even discussing her 'package', and wasn't running out of the restaurant in disgust. "I had a very good friend called Hillhead. I was at a private all boys' school, and like all teenagers we were discovering, talking about and experimenting with sex. Hillhead and I experimented together." She noted the slight flush of his cheeks.

"It was very erotic and very satisfying to masturbate each other. And, once, we experimented with anal sex. I didn't much like it then."

Suzanne looked up at him. "What do you mean, 'then'?"

He smiled. "Like you, I'm not great with the opposite sex, but I had one girlfriend where the relationship was physical, and she liked putting her finger in me while we were having sex. That felt good, and I returned the feeling to her. I've often wondered what it would be like, now that I know it can feel good."

Suzanne was stunned. Not only did he seem relatively comfortable with her "package", but also he'd effectively asked her to try fucking him. Now she was rock hard, and her nipples were standing out like organ stops under her dress. She couldn't believe the intimacy of what he'd told her and how vulnerable it made him.

She cleared her throat and gasped out, "I think we should go home."

Only then did she realise that his hand was still in her crotch, and that several people were staring at them. But she felt as if she was walking on air. She couldn't give a fuck what they thought. She just smiled seraphically at them while James hailed the waiter and asked for the bill.