This story goes in Romance? Even though there's lots going on here: exhibitionism, spanking, threesomes, divorce, and more... I still feel this one belongs in Romance. Hope you'll agree.
***
I had enough. Thirteen years of marriage down the tubes, just because that asshole can't keep it in his pants. Bangs every fucking woman that bats an eyelash. I was livid it ever got this far. "I should have divorced you ten years ago, the first time this happened. You remember, right? Back when you SWORE to me it would never happen again!" Brian wasn't saying a word, just hanging his head in shame while he stood naked in front of me. The cum-drenched woman -- the one who I caught him with -- raced out of the room before facing my wrath. Not that she was the problem. I wasn't mad at her. Just the asshole she was fucking. "I want you out of this house tonight!" I demanded, stomping the floor.
"Aw, come on, Janice. You know that's unfair."
"Unfair?! What the fuck is wrong with you, Brian? Unfair? You're literally banging a goddamn stranger in our -"
"She's not a stranger!"
Silence hung in the air after he said those words. Finally, I responded, "That doesn't make it better, Brian. That makes it worse. Go move in with her, then."
"I can't do that, Janice. Look, I messed up. I'll do anything. We can go to therapy. I'll read those books you wanted me to read last time -"
I held my hands up. "Shut. Up." I allowed that unsettling silence to hang again. I didn't want to listen to his voice, much less encourage conversation. "You know what, Brian. You stay. I'll go."
"Wh... what?"
"I'm taking a vacation, Brian. I'm going to think about things, specifically my future. When I come back, you need to have decided whether you want this house, or if you are willing to let it go. I don't fucking care, but one thing is for certain, we won't be together anymore."
"Stop talking crazy, Janice."
"I mean it, Brian. Wrap your head around the fact that you and I are finished."
"What makes you say that? I can be better!"
"Brian, a rock could be better. Everything we've built, you just shit on. Zero respect for me!"
"Janice, I swear I'll make it up. I'll give you a pass!"
"A pass? What the fuck are you talking about?"
"A pass. Go out. Cheat on me. I deserve it!"
"I don't need a fucking PASS to get laid. I could get laid any time I want. For fuck's sake, Brian, look at all the shit I go through to look good for you! Brazilian waxes, workouts five times a week, swimming two nights a week. That's fucking effort! And I do it because I enjoy looking good for my man. Until now, anyway. It's clear you don't appreciate it. But I could have found someone anytime I wanted, Brian! I never needed a pass! I actually respected you! That's why I didn't do it. Why, for fuck's sake, why did you?!"
"Janice, please." Brian was on his knees, tears streaming. "I'm such an idiot. I didn't mean to hurt you! I'm sorry, I swear, I'm so, so sorry..." He was pulling every bullshit apology from the Cheater's Handbook of Bullshit Apologies.
"You know what? Let me show you how much it hurts. You want to give me a pass. Fine. I'll take it."
"You... you will?"
"Don't think for a minute this means we're getting back together, Brian, but I will allow you to experience this feeling."
"What do you mean?"
"I'll keep you posted. Don't expect me back for a while. At least a couple weeks!"
I didn't bother packing. Instead, I just picked up the keys to the Bentley and marched out the door. A shopping spree sounded good. It would give me time to clear my head and think about what I want to do with myself. I know I don't want to be with a man who deceives me, and Brian has defined himself as that kind of man. I don't care how thick one's skin is. Being cheated on hurts. I wanted to lash out, to hurt him, but I tried to push those negative thoughts back and instead focus on me.
It has been a long time since I truly felt loved. Not just emotionally, which I thought Brian and I had, but also, physically. The thing is, when I walked in on Brian and his mistress (whoever she is), I got jealous. They were both soaked in sweat, obviously having spent considerable time and energy in the act before I stumbled onto them. She was just finishing sucking him off when I caught them. Not just sucking him, but really going at it, and he was thrusting hard, helping her work it. If it were anyone other than my husband, I would have found it very hot. I could tell they were satisfied, and it has been so long since I felt that kind of raw, sexual emotion.
Going without meaningful, engaging sex does something to you. Or rather, it doesn't do something for you. It leaves you with this emptiness, not just in your heart, but also like in the pit of your stomach. In your soul, you know you are missing something, almost as valuable as air. Life isn't right without it.
Brian and I were both sophomores in college when we met, equally driven and spunky. It seemed like a no-brainer we were meant for each other. By our junior year, we decided we were done with school and by sheer luck (and a bit of networking), I was asked to design the logos and merchandise for a sporting goods company. That company happened to go viral several months later and I piggybacked for the ride. Not that I didn't do my part. Brian and I both did, working our asses off for them. A couple years later, Brian secured another anchor client that brought in seven figures a year in business. Our little advertising agency now has over a hundred active clients and a staff of nine, not including Brian and myself. Not bad for college dropouts.
I remembered back to the night when Brian and I met, a mixer at the fraternity where he had pledged. Like many frat parties, things got out of hand. This guy named Todd Hampton kept hitting on me. I wasn't interested, but the more I drank, the more I let my guard down. Somehow, we ended up in the upstairs hall, and Todd began groping me under my shirt, trying to pull my tits out of my bra. I fought back (in that half-assed, timid-college-girl-who-won't-assert-herself kind of way) when Brian stepped up, making quick work of my assailant, decking him to the floor. He knocked that asshole out cold. It was the first time a man ever stood up for me like that.