The Odd Couple 1

Author's Note: This story is based on the unlikely pairing of two friends of different sexual persuasions. The names of the characters have been changed to protect their identities, and a liberal dose of literary possibility has been applied to fill in the gaps as to how their romance grew and blossomed. Enjoy the telling.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Hey, girlfriend! Why are you so glum in a bar full of cheer and very merry men?" chirped an annoyingly chipper voice.

"Oh, hi, Dru. I was just thinking about this and that; people and things," Mana replied reflectively as she glanced at a slender, slightly effeminate but definitely handsome man who slid in her booth with his mug in hand. "I'm just trying to figure out my life over a pitcher of beer."

"Well, you look like you've been drowning your sorrows -- and doing a pretty good job at it. Let me help you by topping off your mug and then filling mine before buying the next pitcher," Dru murmured as he freely helped himself to her beer as he settled in. "Are you expecting Faye, your pixie of a main squeeze, to join you?"

When Mana didn't look up or respond other than taking a deep swallow of draft brew and then hanging her head over her mug, Dru knew the source of his friend's dark mood. "Mana, my good-looking cosmopolitan girlfriend, has something happened between Faye and you? Come on, 'fess up. Tell me your problems and I'll tell you mine -- cross my heart and hope to die if I don't."

"Oh, my god, Dru," Mana sighed, "Why don't you just leave me alone and let me wallow in my misery? You know that you are a pretty nosy bastard?" When her friend just beamed a sickening grin of agreement, Mana relented and whispered, "Faye -- has left me. There are you happy? I got a text message -- from the airport. She said that she was flying to Phoenix -- transferring to another job -- and starting a new life. While her text didn't say this, the damn thing screamed that she was doing it 'without me!' I called her but she had turned off her phone, and I must have blown out her voicemail, pleading for her to tell me why -- for her to come back -- but, nothing. I think she has blocked me."

"Ouch! That was cruel! I would never have expected that from Faye because she seemed so sweet and dainty. God, the two of you were definitely the mismatched twosome with her being a petite Japanese geisha and you being a Hawaiian-Chinese-Portuguese basketball jock who towered over her by over a foot. Hmmm, you know that when the word gets around, the gossipmongers are going to say that you were probably too rough for your dainty heartthrob.'

"Ha! Order that other pitcher, Dru," Mana barked. "I don't give a shit what people think because they would be all wrong." Draining her mug, she paused as the waitress placed a new pitcher on the table, and then continued once her companion filled up their mugs, "Dru, this is just between you and me, okay? Despite what people may think, Faye was the butch of our relationship and I was her bitch. The little dyke used and abused me soon after seducing me, but, God, I was so much in love with her that I let her treat me any way she wanted. I guess that why her leaving me hurts so much."

"Why that little Jap cunt! How dare she treat you like crap! I know it doesn't seem like it now, Mana, but you're better off without her. Don't worry. A looker like you will soon find someone special. Until then I've got your back, girl, because that's what drinking buddies are for. Right?"

"Thanks for the kind words and offer, Dru. But, you don't really know what it's like to be dumped... abandoned... discarded without a second thought by someone you loved and thought loved you."

"You'd be surprised, Mana, you'd be surprised. I know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. I have -- am having -- first-hand experience on what it's like to be left."

"Huh? Dru, what did you just say? I 've been so engrossed with my self-pity that I didn't notice that although you seem upbeat, it is a bit -- 'forced.' Are things between you and your boyfriend, Tony, okay?"

"Yeah, well... oh, who am I kidding? Tony did a 'Faye' on me. He took off and left only a short note... on a damn post-it, no less. Hey, I wasn't sleeping with the dude because of his literary ability. Tony, however, made it quite clear that he couldn't take any more of my bossy and clinging ways, and needed to bail on me."

"But, I thought Tony was..."

"No, just like you and Faye, looks can be deceiving. A lot of people assumed that because Tony was taller and really built... god, did that son-of-a-bitch have some hard, cut muscles... that he was the dominant and I, the wimpy pretty boy, was his submissive. If anything, Tony was my 'girlfriend' and loved being my bitch -- or so I thought. At least you know where Faye went -- I have no clue where Tony is. The only thing I know is that he took all of his things and some of mine -- and ain't coming back."

"Oh, wow, Dru. I would have never guessed. I'm sorry that I wasn't more perceptive... and sensitive to your hurt..."

"That's okay, Mana. Let's face it. We've got to cut ourselves some slack. We've both had our hearts ripped out of our chests by those whom we thought loved us. It hurts like hell, but fortunately, we've got each other. As the old saying goes, 'Misery loves company.' So, how about you and I tie one on as we lick each other's wounds... god, that sounds so obscene. Are you with me, girlfriend? Okay, then drink up, and let's console each other. I say, 'Fuck Faye and Tony!'"

"You're right, Dru! Here, here! To hell with Tony, the Bastard, and Fay, the Witch! Long live Dru and Mana!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Wow, dinner was really great, Dru. I wouldn't have been able to whip up such a delicious meal on the spur of the moment and with what little I had in my cupboard. God, it's the best I've eaten in a while."

"No problem, hunny-bunny. You're my one and only, and I've got to take care of you. Plus, downing shots of Crown before, during, and after dinner makes any meal taste good. It was a good thing you had two bottles stashed and just waiting to be drunk."

"You're lucky you came banging on my door tonight. If you had come tomorrow, there's a good chance that one of those bottles of Crown probably wouldn't be there."

"You know, Mana, you shouldn't drink alone... especially when you've got a willing partner in sin who's available to drink with you any time of the day. Hmmm, speaking of drinking, I've been meaning to ask you why you've recently been so 'unavailable' whenever I've asked you out recently. Mana-girl, I've got to tell you that your excuses really suck. What gives, sweetie?"

There was a pregnant pause as Mana grabbed the bottle and shifted to her couch. Pouring herself a shot, she gulped it down before reluctantly sighing, "Dru, people are talking about us now that they know that Faye and Tony are gone. You know... about us 'going out'... the gay and the lesbian... the proverbial 'odd couple. Boy, have we set tongues wagging. People are wondering if we're somehow... 'getting it on'... if you what I mean."

Dru almost choked on the shot that he had just tossed down and gasping dramatically, staggered to join Mana on her couch. "Say what? They think that? Hmm, this the first I've heard about us... but, then again, guys don't think the way you women do. If the thought enters their simple caveman minds, guys would just ask straight out, 'So, how's the 'lez' in bed?' So far, no guy has asked me that question about you, Mana.

"Oh, my god! I can't believe that people really think that we've become the dreaded "B" as in LG

B

T -- bisexual! How strange. Hmmm, given our external persona... you being the butchy jock and me being the foppish pansy... which is totally different from our bedroom orientation. Hmmm. I wonder what they think we 'doing' to each other."

"Dru, can you crack open that other bottle of Crown? I'm buzzed right now and if this talk goes where I think it may go, I'll be thoroughly confused and in desperate need of getting smashed."

"Owww, just twist my arm, girl, to open another bottle of fine spirits to share with a good-looking bitch like you."

"Do you really think I'm attractive? You're not just bullshitting me, are you?"

"Does the sun rise in the East? Damn right! You're gorgeous, Mana. You're a six-foot caramel-skin Amazon... with long mahogany hair... warm brown eyes... a cute nose... and luscious lips. Your boobs are full and heavy but amazingly firm. When you roll that into your flat but soft stomach, nice hips and buns, and great legs, you're a goddamn beautiful!

"And if that wasn't enough, your habit of wearing the least amount of clothing as possible which really adds to your sexuality. When you're braless in your bare-midriff tops with your low-riding shorts hang on your hips, you're out-fucking-standing wet-dream come true. And to make matters worse, you pull all this off without even trying... so casual and damn nonchalant. Are you attractive? Goddamn right you are!"

Mana sat there stunned by Dru's pronouncement. Her eyes widening as her mouth fell open, and then as if by reflex, she quickly tossed back a shot of Crown. "What the hell? Are you attracted to me?"

"Shut your mouth! All I said was that you are simply a fine-looking woman. And while we're at it, what do you think of me?"

Filling up her shot-glass and taking a swift gulp, Mana looked Dru in the eye and said, "You're handsome, you son-of-a-bitch... but so goddamn 'pretty' that many a girl would love to jump into the sack with you if you were of the other persuasion. While you're not bulging with muscles like the steroid-enhance ass-wipes who hang around you, you're a lean-mean cut of a man. Now that I know you, I can understand why you're the man on top instead of the one spreading his butt cheeks and begging to be buggered. Do I think you're attractive, sissy-boy? Yeah, I guess I do."

"Wow, Mana! But since we are sharing secrets, I've got to ask you...have you ever gotten it on with a guy?"

"Huh? Well, I'll tell you, if you tell me. Okay? Then the answer is yes. When I was in high school, a lot of the guys were intimidated by my physicality, my athletic prowess, and my damn height. The only guys who weren't, were my fellow jocks. The only problem with them was their Neanderthal mentality, manners, and approach to women. I lost my virginity in the back of a pickup truck and endured a lot of painful sex and other abuse with one particular prick of a bastard. But, each time that we did it, it just didn't feel 'right' if you know what I mean.

"It was then that I met Faye who seduced me with sweet talk, a gentle touch, and a taste of her feminine intimacy. I wasn't until I was hooked to womanly lovemaking and had fallen for Faye that I discovered her true nature... which wasn't that much different from my jock-boyfriend. She was just subtler and far more addictive. There -- now what about you, Dru?"

"Okay, here it goes, Mana. I never had problems attracting women; however, once they found out that I wasn't into them, I became the proverbial 'male-friend' who was good for arm-candy, shopping and confiding in. That is until I met Sissy who was several years older than me and extremely pretty. With cat-like cruelty, she made me her plaything just to indulge her warped sense of self-worth. God, that cunt would tease me into agonizing rigidity, torment me until I begged for release, and then condescendingly let me come all over myself. However, in the end, I got my revenge on Sissy when I seduced and butt-fucked her sweet younger brother, turning him into a flaming fag.

"Since then, I have found that many he-men and hardcore jocks are open to the 'manly' experience. God, nothing beats sodomizing a hard-body or letting him suck me off. I know that this sounds twisted, but I give my sexual partners what they want. Yes, Mana, I pleasure them... but, only on my terms.

"Shit, did I just say that? I sound like a fucking dick. Hey, Mana, I must be shit-ass drunk to blurt out what I just said. I should go before I ruin a good evening with you."

"No way, Dru! You're slurring your words, and can barely stand. Shit, you couldn't drive even if I would let you. Shit, who am I to talk? I'm blitzed too and on the verge of passing out. Sorry, Dru. But I don't think I'm in any shape to drive you home. Maybe... you should stay here tonight."

"Mana, you've got a studio that is damn small. Where would I sleep? Shit, for that matter, where do you sleep?"

"We're sitting on my bed, Dru. This couch folds out to a double-size bed, and we could ... er..."

"Yeah, that's one problem among many, Mana. The two of us in bed together. I don't know. Maybe I should sleep in my car...

"You drive a two-seater sports car, Dru, and a tiny one at that! I think we'll be okay so long as you don't try any funny stuff...

"Mana, I'm more afraid of you molesting me than me doing you. However, there is one other major problem that I must bring up at this time -- I sleep in the nude. I know it sounds weird but I'm not making it up. I get extremely hot if I wear anything when I go to sleep. If I did, I'd end up tossing and turning all night, and I wouldn't want to do that in bed with you."

"Well, I'll be damned -- who would have 'thunk!' I don't want to shock you, Dru, and I ain't bullshitting you when I say that, but I sleep naked too! Huh, as you might have already guessed, I don't like the restriction of clothing and try to wear as little as possible. It goes to say that when I'm in bed and alone, I don't wear anything at all. Still, I don't know just how comfortable I am with you seeing me in my birthday suit."

"Mana, you've got to be kidding? I've seen you in your skimpy bikini which left very little to the imagination. Do you remember that time when we went snorkeling and your bikini top had a wardrobe malfunction? Your bodacious boobies were jiggling all over the place before you could get those babies stuffed back into your itsy-bitsy bikini bra. Do you really think I could forget what your eye-opening tits look like?"

"I wouldn't talk if I were you. As I recall you sprouted one hell of a boner in your swim trunks that time. Ha! You didn't think I noticed you as I struggled to get my bikini bra under control. I thought you had a fricking speargun between your legs!"

"Hey, in my defense, there are times when a guy...even a gay guy... has a spontaneous and unwanted erection. It is just one of those male things that happens and can't be controlled. You know -- like 'shazam!' But, a hard-on doesn't necessarily mean that a guy is turned on."

"But, were you turned on when you saw my tits? Tell me the truth, Dru."

"Mana...I plead the Fifth Amendment and refuse to incriminate myself. Hmmm, on second thought, maybe I should sleep on the floor..."

"Get real, Dru. Once I pull out the bed from this couch, there won't be enough space in this tiny studio for you to comfortably stretch out that puny five-six frame of yours. You'd have to sleep under the kitchen table, and even if you did, it would be a squeeze and extremely uncomfortable.

"Hmmm, I tell you what, Dru. Maybe if we agree to some ground rules, we can have tonight's slumber party. First, we value each other as friends and don't want to do anything that might jeopardize our special friendship. Agreed? Good. Next, we have no intentions of becoming sexually involved. Okay? Right. Lastly, maybe if we sleep back to back, we can sleep naked with minimal intimate contact. What do think?"

"Hmmm, I like your sleeping arrangement. We can, however, further minimize unwanted stimulation and unnecessary embarrassment if I use the bathroom to undress while you set up the bed. If you have a spare toothbrush...what...in the medicine cabinet above the sink? Great. When I've undressed, I'll wrap a towel around my hips and come out to slip under the sheets before taking the towel off. Which side of the bed do you want? The side closest to the bathroom. It's yours."

"Okay, Dru, while I'm using the bathroom, would you turn off the lights? By darkening the room, I can just come out in the buff and get into bed with you. How does that sound? Okay. Let's give it a try."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I want to thank you, Dru, for being there for me after Faye dumped me. You are a good friend and don't know what I would have done without you. That guy I used to date would have taken advantage of my vulnerability and been all over me with only one thing in mind -- screwing me. You, on the other hand, never once took advantage of me. Instead, you were caring, tender, and extremely patient during the last six months that we've been hanging out."

"Jeez, Mana, don't make me into a saint 'cuz I ain't one. But I do believe that a guy can have a female friend without getting it on with her. I've got to say that whatever I gave to you, I got it back many times over. You haven't toyed with or used me as a certain bitch in my past. You were just yourself... no pretenses... naturally sensual... especially when it came to flaunting of your incredible tits. Ha! I knew that would get you! I can't let your head get too big or else I might get pushed out of this bed.

"Mana -- I don't know about you, but I'm really hot. No, no, I'm not sexually turned on. I'm just hot body-temperature-wise. Laying here next to you under the bedding has 'heated' me up. Because the room is dark and we can't see anything and much less each other, would you mind if I kick off my side of the bedding so that I can cool down. You don't mind? Thanks. Ok, here goes. Aaah, that feels so damn good..."

"Hmmm, Dru, I know that this may sound strange but I'm still confused and a bit stressed out. What? No, not because of you... well... to some degree. Ooh, I know that sounds weird, but I'm really confused about my life and where I'm going. If it hadn't been for you, I don't know what I would have done. And yet, while you have been delightfully comfortable, you have also been disturbingly uncomfortable. Oh, I know I'm babbling, but I just can't find the right words...

"Look, I know I stated earlier that we should minimize intimate contact, but right now I need some tangible reassurance that you'll be my friend no matter what happens tonight. Since you're no longer under the sheets, could you hug me? We'll have the bedding separating us so technically we won't be getting really intimate, will we?"

"I would love to, Mana, but you're six inches taller than me and that might prove a bit physically challenge for me to hold you. Hmmm, how about if I roll over so that you can hug me to you? Okay? Here goes...

"How's this? Are you comfortable? Hmmm, this feels good. You know, Mana, this is nice. I love snuggling. Hmmm, and your neck smells simply incredible, and you feel... oh no... damn it! What? Why am I pulling away? Well, I didn't anticipate that in cuddling with you that I would be laying on your boobs. Oh, fuck! I had better get off you because I'm sprouting one hell of an erection. What? No, Mana, I'm not doing it on purpose. Sometimes the little head down there doesn't listen to the big head up here."

However, before Dru could move, Mana locked her arms and legs around his body, pulling him to her. "Don't move, Dru. Calm down. We have a light blanket and bed sheet between our bodies. I'm fine with your hard-on...no. really, Dru. I don't mind your dick pressing against me. Just let it be. Nothing will happen if we don't let it happen."

"Okay, Mana. It's just that I've never been in a situation like this before. It is really weird being hugged by a woman... lovely but naked one... with just a couple layers of thin material between us. Still, it isn't so bad...."

"Yes, it's nice to have and hold someone you care for. Hmmm, speaking of which, Dru, earlier you told me in embarrassing detail how attractive I was. Yet, when I asked if you were attracted to me, you didn't answer and somehow changed the subject. Are you attracted to me?