The Nude the Fat and the Lovely

It seemed as if someone had flipped a switch, and time passed almost in an instant to prom day. Beth's dress was completed in just a few days as Camille had promised, although the final design was a bit different from what we had discussed. It was still an amazing piece of fashion, and Beth was going to show it off with her new found poise, confidence and stunning looks.

Instead of Velcro, Camille had gone with buttons on the golden detachable portions, so the length of the slit could be adjusted per various dress codes, and once the lower portion was removed, the soft buttonholes were on the portion remaining, so as to not even be noticed. Another curious change, however, was a removable midriff section in the from of the dress which puzzled us all, except for Kylie. She smiled, knowing it was meant to be a maternity accessory, but even she didn't know why it was included in Beth's dress, unless Camille was trying to drop a hint or something.

Camille saw us trying to figure the mystery out, and spoke up.

"I thought it would be a wonderful way to show off that new, tight tummy of yours," she explained, "but maybe it'll keep them guessing as well."

I grinned in response.

"I like it." I said, nodding in affirmation.

"I love it!" Beth gushed. "I know I'll have to give it back after the prom, but it's beautiful! May I try it on?"

"Of course, Dear." Camille replied. "I was kind of expecting you to do so anyway, in the event I need to make any last minute alterations. I have a matching set of shoes as well. I know a designer that lent them for the event. Everyone's on board with making this happen, Bethany."

I stared at the brand on the shoes and my mouth dropped open.

"Those shoes cost more than this dress!" I exclaimed.

"I had them airmailed from Paris." Camille explained. "Be careful with them, Dear. That's real gold thread in the stitching."

Beth nodded, and disappeared with the dress and high heels; returning a few minutes later in full, up to the minute fashion. She was stunning, even without her hair being done yet, and I couldn't help but stare.

"You look beautiful." I said softly. "I can't wait until we get our makeovers on Saturday morning. You'll look absolutely amazing."

Beth smiled.

"Thank you." she replied, before turning to Camille. "And thank you too! And everyone else who made this happen as well! I can't wait to finally show off my new look in public!"

Saturday morning arrived soon enough, and Kylie took us to her hairstylist, with whom she had booked slots for Beth and myself as soon as they opened, to give us plenty of time to get everything perfect. I had already gotten my soft contact lenses several weeks earlier, so I was used to wearing them and wouldn't end up with tired and gritty eyes for the after party. I had also arranged for the rental of a glossy black Lamborghini Countach to make one hell of an ostentatious entrance to the whole affair. People were certainly going to freak when we showed up in style; chic and overly-flamboyant Italian sports car, the latest fashion and of course, the mysterious masks. Since I was the only one in school who could afford that kind of a car as opposed to renting a limo, I might be giving myself away - but even so - no one in hell was ever going to figure out who my date was!

We were greeted by the salon's owner, who had a pretty good idea of what she was going to do, but still needed some final input from us as to the exact look we wanted.

"Hi Laverne." Kylie greeted her.

"Good morning Kylie!" she exclaimed. "And who is this you've brought along? I thought it was Bethany and her boyfriend that were getting makeovers."

"It is." I responded dryly. "I'm Jack Cartier, and this is Beth. You may remember her a bit differently, and going by the name of Bethany at the time."

The woman's mouth dropped open in genuine surprise, as she finally recognized my beautiful girlfriend as the formerly overweight girl she remembered.

"I'm so sorry!" she apologized. "I genuinely did not recognize you. I like Beth a whole lot better than Bethany! Good lord, what a difference!"

Beth smiled.

"Thank you." she replied. "Jack made me realize who I really am, and we've been working on this look for several months now."

"The transformation is amazing!" Laverne marveled. "By the time I'm finished with your hair, your own mother won't recognize you! Speaking of that, what exactly are we doing? I know you want it colored, right?"

"Yes." I answered for her. "Less auburn, and more of a brighter, but natural looking shade of red. Maybe a shade brighter than Kylie's. I want it to compliment her green eyes and the emerald green and gold dress she'll be wearing. Can you do that?"

Laverne nodded. "Oh yes! I think I have the perfect tone in mind. Let me show you a sample."

She produced a lock of hair, and it was indeed, exactly what I had envisioned. It looked entirely natural in its shade -- unlike the do-it-yourself stuff that was available at the time - and it would indeed compliment the green of her eyes and dress.

"Awesome!" I said enthusiastically. "Now, what about her style?"

"Well, we traditionally do what's called an 'updo' for an elegant occasion such as a prom or wedding," Laverne explained, "but I'm thinking more of a mix of long hair and putting it up. It looks great on medium length hair. I can do a light wave for the long tresses, but have a portion of it pulled up and woven almost like a rope around her head. It will give a crown-like appearance."

"That's perfect!" I said enthusiastically. "It will look almost Gaelic."

"Yes, now that you mention it." Laverne replied. "You have a good eye, Jack. Have you ever considered getting into this business?"

"I have not!" I stated emphatically, drawing a giggle-snort from Kylie.

She smiled.

"And what about you?" she inquired. "That long, British rocker style bob needs to go."

"You tell me." I replied. "I have no idea. Whatever is the most current glam style, but also looks professional. I don't want a mullet or anything like that."

Laverne nodded.

"First, let's lighten it to a light warm brown, or even a dark blond, with some highlights." she suggested. "I think some feathering on the sides, and a bit of length in the back would look good on you. Here, look at this picture."

She pointed to a headshot on the wall, and I nodded in agreement.

"Looks good to me." I concurred.

A few hours later, our transformations were complete. It cost me about five hundred bucks, but we looked top of the pops, for sure. Once we were in our prom attire, we were sure to take the title of prom king and queen, not to mention the dance lessons we had taken that were going to let us own the floor. No one was going to believe it was really us, even after the reveal!

Kylie dropped us off at the rental place, and Beth and I entered.

"May I help you?" a flashy guy inquired.

"I'm Jack Cartier." I replied. "You have a Lambo waiting for me?"

He nodded.

"Yes, but I had no idea you were so young." he responded. "This is a really expensive machine. Were you able to secure a bond like I asked you to?"

"Don't need one." I said, plunking down a bundle of one hundred, $100 bills secured with a gold and white currency band, as the man's eyes bulged noticeably. "There's your ten grand, in cash, upfront. I also have a temporary policy from my insurance company to cover it, in the event some bonehead damages it in any way. And I'd like a receipt for that bundle of bills please, so I'd suggest you count it because I'm sure as hell going to when I get it back tomorrow."

"Yes Sir!" he exclaimed. "You got it, Dude!"

I spent the next few hours confirming my bookings with the DJ to extend his services past the prom, the security agency and the representative of the facility, to verify that everything was nailed down, and specifically, to give the DJ certain details of what I wanted played when Beth and I made our big reveal, and the slow dancing song to follow, as we showed off the results of our professional dance lessons, as well as the emcee handing the mic off to me as Beth revealed her own face. Then, the time finally arrived to make it all happen.

Beth descended the stairs in all of her transformed glory; styled hair, full makeup and of course, the dress and shoes to to complete her fairy tale look. Even the best rendition of Cinderella didn't have a quarter of what my redheaded princess looked like. She may not have been wearing glass slippers, but that Lamborghini was sure as hell going to outdo even the fanciest horse drawn carriage, when we pulled up!

"You look beautiful." I breathed, as I placed my arms around her.

Kylie nodded, and wiped her eyes.

"My little princess is all grown up!" she gushed. "And Jack, you are one handsome dude without those glasses and long hair. You two belong on the cover of a magazine."

"Thanks." I responded with a grin. "We'll see you there in an hour or so, right?"

I had asked her to be one of the chaperons at the after party, and Mr. Hunter had said it was fine for her to show up early and keep an eye on things at the actual prom as well.

"You got it." she replied. "Go make your grand entrance. Knock 'em dead."

While the prom technically started at 7:00 o'clock, students typically began arriving around 6:30 or so, to give plenty of time for those who rented limos to make entrances of their own. Too bad that this year, nobody was going to come anywhere close to us.

I pulled up to the front of the expo center that had been reserved for the prom, and we donned our masks, since it was illegal to drive with them on; at least for me as the driver. It had a couple of "halls" they rented out for antique, gun and agricultural shows and other venues, and I had placed the hall next to the prom on standby, to be certain we had plenty of room if we needed it. To make sure that two different schools didn't compete for space and parking, the owners would only rent out one hall for prom night, so it wasn't a big deal to reserve another one. I mean, who else would be having a function on a Saturday night, Shriners or the Elks?

It worked out well too, as the two spaces were essentially one huge room divided by one of those giant accordions that could be pushed to one side to open the entire thing up. I had no idea how many people were going to show up, but the entire school was invited, so I wanted to make sure there was plenty of room. The two spaces combined could accommodate 5,000 people, so I really hoped it would suffice!

The driveway of sorts that led to the main entrance was U-shaped and made a great dropoff point. Rather than push my luck and try and bypass everyone else and possibly appear overbearing, I pulled into the line to wait our turn, occasionally revving the engine from time to time, to draw attention to us in the event that anyone was completely blind and hadn't noticed us already. Most of the students who were already dropped off were hanging around the entrance; gawking and waiting to see who would exit the most bodacious car they had ever seen in person. There was a guy to essentially point everyone in the right direction, and I stopped alongside him; the electric window gliding down smoothly as he looked in.

"Howdy." I greeted him.

"Hey yourself." he replied. "We don't have valet parking."

"I'm not giving the keys to anyone anyway." I responded. "I've already made arrangements to park it by the front door."

"Oh, duh!" he exclaimed, clapping his hand to his forehead. "Expensive car and masks, sorry. Pull on through that ramp thing they use to load and unload onto the patio."

"Thanks!" I said, pressing a Twenty into his hand. "Pretend you parked it."

I carefully drove onto what looked like a wide handicapped curb access nowadays, and parked in front of the fountain adjacent to the main entrance. In this day and age, it would have had large steel pipes or concrete globes to prevent this from happening, but this was still back in the carefree days of yesteryear.

Everyone was milling about excitedly, as I revved the engine one last time, before turning off the headlights and ignition.

"On the count of three." I said to Beth. "One, two, three."

As if by magic, both of the wasp wing doors opened simultaneously and swung upwards on an angle, as opposed to gull wings, where they open straight up. I nodded at Beth, and we both exited the vehicle, the motorized doors closing behind us as if on cue. Actually, it was on cue, as I controlled them via the key fob in my hand.

Beth and I met up behind the car, and I placed my arm around her waist; escorting her toward the entrance. People crowded around us as we passed, trying figure out who we were.

"Who is it?" someone inquired. "Can you tell?"

"No," someone else replied, "but I was kind of thinking it was going to be Jack Cartier. He's about the only one who could afford to rent that car, but it sure doesn't look like him, and that definitely AIN'T Bethany Easton!"

I chuckled to myself at that last remark. Boy, were they in for a surprise! We entered what could be considered a lobby or reception area, and walked up to a cloth-draped table, where several women were taking our reservation tags and entry fees.

I don't how your prom may have operated, but we paid a reservation fee upfront to register for the event. For this, were given "golden ticket" keychains with our names on them, which we presented and then paid the entry fee to access the prom. I placed my finger over my lips in a "shh" sign and we both carefully showed one of the women our tickets so no one else might see our names and spoil everything. I then paid the balance due, and we were granted the go ahead.

Joe and Peg - or should I say, Mr. and Mrs. Hunter - were waiting by the door into the exhibit hall, and smiled as we approached them. We waved, but said nothing in the event someone might overhear us and recognize our voices. I had planned this all out very carefully, and didn't want to blow it all at the last minute.

"You two look amazing!" Peg exclaimed. "That dress is out of this world! And you look like Leif Garrett."

"Damn skippy!" Joe agreed. "You two sure know how to make an entrance!"

We both smiled back, and entered "the prom." We were greeted by the official photographer, who motioned for us to stop so he could get a picture of us. He snapped a couple of pics and nodded.

"I don't suppose I can get one without the masks?" he inquired. "No one will know who you are."

I leaned in and whispered into his ear.

"They'll all know soon enough." I replied. "Later on, why don't you drop by our table and get another one? You'll be here all night anyway. And by the way, you are cordially invited to stick around for the after party."

With that, I slipped him a picture of Andrew Jackson as well, and we proceeded. By the way, for those of you who think I was being cheap with twenty dollar tips, a regular candy bar only cost a quarter back then, and a full size went for fifty cents. Twenty bucks went a long way.

The DJ was already playing some music as we went inside, but at a much lower volume than he would be playing once everything kicked off. I escorted Beth over to his record table for some last minute coordination.

"Remember, once 'Mr. Roboto' starts, keep that light on us." I reminded him. "I'll make an address, then play 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA; again, keeping that light on us. I want us to be the focal point, okay? After the prom is over, I'll take over as emcee for the after party. You have that videotape I gave you, ready to go in a projector, right?"

He nodded.

"I sure do."

"Thanks!" I responded. "Oh, and see if you have 'She's in Love With You,' by Suzi Quatro in your record stack. I'd like that thrown in somewhere if you have it."

"You got it, Dude!" he said enthusiastically. "I have that entire album; not just on 45. I'll sneak in there a couple of times for you. Sure do miss her as Leather Tuscadaro on Happy Days."

I waved, and Beth and I headed over to the refreshment table to get some punch and bread sticks, as everyone else began filing in. The volume of the music increased slightly, as 'Don't Change' by INXS kicked in. Beth and I casually milled around as best as we could, knowing full well that all eyes were upon us. The tables each held four people, or two couples, and lo and behold, there were Amy and Ken all by themselves. Apparently, none of their friends had shown up yet.

"Are you up for it?" I inquired, as we both stared in their direction.

"Oh, you know it, Jack!" she whispered back. "It'll be all the better when they find out who I am, sitting right at the same table with them!"

We approached our nemeses, and Beth struck up a conversation in a genuine Northern Irish brogue, of which I was not aware she spoke fluently.

"Greetin's to ya!" she addressed them. "My lad and I are lookin' for a place to park our bums. Might we join ya for the evenin'?"

It was all I could do to refrain from bursting into laughter at her dialect. I was not expecting it, and it made her sound so much different, that she may as well have been another person. No one was ever going to believe it was her.

"Umm, yeah... sure." Ken stammered. "I'm Ken, and this is Amy."

"Nice to make your acquaintances." Beth replied. "I'd be tellin' ya our names too, but it might give away our secret. We're wearin' these raccoon eyes for a reason."

It was then, that it dawned on me that these masks resembled giant glasses, and even with the short hair, someone might recognize me. As if on cue, Amy stared at me like she knew it was me. Beth, however, kept up the charade.

"Well, I guess I can tell you his name, as he doesn't speak any English." she continued. "This is Klaus Meine. He's an exchange student from Dusseldorf."

I snickered a bit, as that was the name of the lead singer for the Scorpions.

"Germany?" Ken inquired.

"'Tis the only Dusseldorf I'm familiar with." Beth said with just a touch of the sharp Irish tongue.

It wasn't quite enough to be sarcastic, yet it was just present enough to make him feel stupid, which it did.

"If he doesn't speak any English, then how are you communicating with him?" Amy asked, folding her arms and looking straight at Beth.

"Aww, we're speakin' the international language." she responded. "It doesn't take any words to get our thoughts across."

Amy looked confused, so Beth took one of her bread sticks and slid it halfway down her throat; pausing for a second, before pulling it back out and licking the end. I turned my head and stifled what had to be the biggest laugh I'd had in quite some time, resulting in some coughing and a few hiccups.

"Ha!" Ken exclaimed. "She does that too."

Amy flushed, but said nothing.

"So, might we be sittin' with ya?" Beth inquired.

Amy waved her hand across the table in a silent reply, so we sat down and faced them. About that time, the lights dimmed and a spotlight focused on Mr. Hunter.

"Hello Students, and welcome to the senior prom for the Class of 1986."

"That's the Class of 19-8-T-Sex!" a voice called out from the dimness of the outskirts of the room.

A few giggles burst out, and Joe took it all in stride. I swear to this day, he was the coolest principal that has ever lived.

"It may be today," he responded coolly, "but back in my day - when Peg and I went to this very high school ourselves - it was the Class of Fif-T-Sex. Ten years later, it was even better; Sex-T-Sex. Don't even get me started on what they did in 1969."

Several students clapped at this, and Mr. Hunter finished his train of thought.

"And by the way Guys, I know just about every single one of your voices, so Jonathan Lewis, I expect to see you in my office first thing Monday morning with a five hundred word essay on why it is rude and improper to interrupt me."