It's been raining for hours. I've been listening to it bouncing off the nearby tin roof all night. Not that I could have slept anyway.
Today, I'm twenty-three. Today, I leave.
By stomach bottoms out and my heart begins to pound. I haven't been thinking about it on purpose because I knew this was how I'd feel. But I can't pretend it's not happening anymore.
Maybe this won't be as hard as I think it's going to be.
I scoff aloud. 'Yeah, right.'
The clock says five and I sigh. I have nothing to do until my taxi comes at eight. Everything is packed and by my door. 'Everything' being some clothes and toiletries in a backpack, a few photos of people who aren't here anymore. Mom, Dad, Aunt Sara.
I get dressed. I can hear the night orderlies at the desk down the hall starting to move around. Shift change is at six, so they'll start carrying out their obs and checks soon and as I look around my small room, I wonder if I'll miss it.
I've lived at the hospital for nine years. Has it really been that long since Mom, Dad and Sara died, since I killed them?
Pushing those thoughts away, I give myself a reprimanding look in the small mirror by the door. I haven't had an episode (technical term) in years and the consensus of the medical pros is that they were brought on by chemical imbalances from puberty hormones. I went psycho as I was becoming a woman, basically.
They say I'm normal now and I'm not a threat. I was a minor when it happened, so my records have been sealed and, when I leave today, I get to start afresh. No one will know anything about my past. I even have a job lined up at some supe academy for rich shifters thanks to Doctor Shelby. It's just cleaning and stuff like that, but I'll be standing on my own two feet. That's what I've been working towards since I became a lawful adult.
So what am I afraid of?
I leave my room and head out towards the orderly station, making sure Wilkins isn't there. We have a little history, me and him, -- in that I'm a lowly patient and he's an asshole who takes his duties to the extreme. I've found myself on the wrong end of him 'doing his job' more than once since he started working here and I have some purple bruises to prove it. But he's well-versed in the rules, knows what he can get away with, and he had the leverage to keep me quiet these days too. Plus, I'm pretty sure he's got friends in high places because I'm not the only one who's complained about him, yet he always comes out on top somehow.
'You ok there, Red?'
I give the older man sitting behind the desk in his white uniform a genuine smile. Tom has been here longer than I have, and he's always tried to look out for me. I don't want to say he was a father figure when I needed one, but the shoe fits. I think he's like seventy, maybe? His hair is short and white and he's not much taller than my 5'5".
'You go out into the big world today, right? Nervous?'
I shrug. 'Nah.'