Here we are sitting in the coffee shop at the airport, trying to act as if everything is fine. When we both know that these last two weeks were the fasted days of our entire lives. I can’t help to wish we were here alone, instead of having your sister here with us to see me off. I’m glad you decided to sit across from me so I can continue to look into your eyes as we speak.
We’re finally alone as your sister leaves to make a phone call. You tell me that you appreciate my coming to Scotland to visit, and that I will never know how much this meant to you. I can tell by the way that you are playing with your coffee cup, you are nervous. I just look at you and smile. You then thank me for taking care of you while I was there. I reply that I always have, even before my visit. You look at me and say softly “I know you have, I just don’t know what to say.” I answer “Why do you have to say anything?” You smile in return. As your sister is coming back to our table, they announce the boarding of my flight. You take my hand as we stand up, and use your thumb to rub my hand while we walk to the terminal.
We walk as far as you are allowed to go. The sign above the next entrance reads: TICKETED PASSENGERS ONLY. As we hug I start to cry. You whisper in my ear that everything will be all right, and promise to come to the States as soon as your stint in the Royal Reserves are over. We step back from each other and I notice you too have tears in your eyes. I say my good-byes to your sister, and turn my attention back to you. We hug once again, only this time the embrace is so strong that I can not breathe. I start crying again, only this time you let me. You cup my face in your hands and kiss me. Your mouth covers mine, and I feel your tongue enter my mouth. It doesn’t last as long as I would have liked, but any kiss is better than no kiss at all. You wipe the tears off my cheek, and tell me to have a good flight home. You smile at me, and tell me to get going before I miss my flight.
I turn around and start walking down the corridor towards the entrance of the boarding hall. Tears are running down my face like a broken faucet. I stop midway, and turn around for one last look before rounding the corner, and see you walking away with your head slightly down, and your hands in your pants pockets. I turn back around and finish the short walk to the plane.
After finding my seat, I start to sob. The smartly dressed businessman beside me is glancing my way, and probably thinks I have lost my mind, but I don’t care who sees me in this state. I stare out the window during take off, and see your car in line at the traffic light. I wonder if you have read the letter that I wrote you? I continue crying until we arrive in London. I gather myself the best I can, and leave the airplane. Walking through Heathrow with nothing on my mind except the fact that you were suppose to be with me on this return flight home, but are unable to right now for reasons out of either of our control. As I sit waiting for my connecting flight, I think about the letter I wrote you. Leaving it in the front seat of the car for you to find when you returned to it. The letter read: