"What it is, is this. For me, everything about today, morning and afternoon, was terrible. Painful, cramps afterward, bad-tasting, you name it. I hated every minute. And then, we heard that at supper you were saying, Jenny I mean, that it had actually been good for you, with Phil. So I guess the first thing is, was that straight?"
Jenny said, "It absolutely was. I guess I think it wasn't as good as regular sex, but Phil managed it so that it didn't hurt at all, it was uncomfortable sometimes, but in the end I came, and that was really good. Phil was totally gentle, but he always is. And you know that yourself. You're right, the part about bad-tasting I mean, but the rest was actually so good, that wasn't too bad. And almost none of this was good with my instructor."
Ellen and Jennings looked at each other. I waited. Jennings finally said, "Here's the thing, I guess. It was so bad for Ellen, we both feel cheated. We talked about it, and we'd like you to do it again with her. We both would consider it a favor. I think she would, more than me, if it turns out even OK, but I want her to be happy and enjoy it. Everything else, almost, has been wonderful for me, and I even enjoyed my part of the afternoon except knowing I was hurting her, and that kind of ruined it for me. If you can fix that even a little, I'll owe you a lot."
I sighed. More anal sex, so soon? Yuck. And yet, I did love Ellen, maybe more than any of the others, and she had gone out of her way to let me catch her, and then practically ordered me to be her friend. I thought I would do most anything to help her. And it would feel good, for me. I thought, time for a reality check all round.
I said, "This is really kind of complicated, and raises a lot of issues. We at least need to make sure we all agree on them. First off, the rule is that we stick with our own partners this week. Technically, you two shouldn't even be in here. I've already had to deal with fallout from one person who thought that wasn't worth bothering with. Mind you, our case is different, and I'm kind of fed up with whatever bonehead thought up some of these things, myself.
"Second, even if Ellen and you and I are all OK with that, I have two partners who have a right to expect me to follow it. Neither one is getting the attention she would if she were the only one. I know that in their place, I'd resent something like this. I'm afraid I'm already resenting a bunch of times lately when someone else has decided that I will do this or that, without consulting me. As far as I'm concerned, Sam and Jenny have absolute veto over anything like this, all this week. And I mean it," I said, looking at the two of them, "next week things will have to work a little differently, and we don't know how, but for this week you absolutely come first, no questions asked. Don't you dare try to figure out what I really want and give it to me when it's really not OK with you!"
I went on back to the others, "Ellen, I'm sorry, I put that like I was talking to Jennings about you, not to you both. I didn't mean it like that. Anyway, there's the possibility that you, Ellen, have something physical or even psychological so that you just can't do this without too much pain. I can't promise anything. Since you've made it clear that Jennings is gentle and cares about you, and Jennings, what you said makes that clear, too, I have to consider that all too likely.
"And, what is it? Fourth, I guess. Anyway. I trust that you, um, Jennings this time again, and Jenny and Sam too, understand that I really love Ellen. Not exclusively, and I'm not just talking when I say that this is true of Jenny and Sam and about five others, and each one is special to me. Jenny's seen me with every one of the ones I'm thinking of, and even the ones I took turns with in gym when they forfeited, for the most part. Sam's seen me with Jenny, and she was as much behind bringing her in for a threesome, when she was in difficulties, as I was, and I guess she saw me with some of the forfeits before we started to work things out, and maybe after. If they say it's OK, I can trust that they really mean it, and that they know it's OK with them, personally. But I don't know you the same way, Jennings. I believe you want this for Ellen. But when it comes to watching me screwing your own partner that way, is it really going to sit OK with you? She just said she likes me better than you, I think, and that's part of the background for that question.
"And finally, Ellen, if we do decide to try, I insist that the minute you find it hurts too much, you tell me and we quit.
"All right, I've talked a lot. Those are the issues as I see it. There may be more, which you need to bring up if you see them, any of you. And as far as they go with you, any of you, I think we all need to hear what you have to say."
I shut up to let them think or speak up. Hopefully thinking first. Jennings, to his credit, gave it a little time, though I was pretty sure he had already done his thinking. Still, he was the first to speak up.
"Morris, I appreciate you working to nail down the difficulties like that. I've already talked some with Ellen about the ones that are for me, and thought about them. I hadn't thought through what this would mean for your partners, I admit, and even if you weren't willing to give them a veto I should be. But yes, whether you try and fail or try and succeed, if you'll do this for Ellen, you're doing it for me, and I'm in your debt. I don't expect to feel jealous or resentful, but if I do I promise to keep it to myself and control it."
There was more silence. Ellen said, "I promise not to keep trying if it really hurts that much, not just for an instant but going on. I'll tell you. If you can find a way around it and go on, good. If you can't, or think you can't, I'll be disappointed but not sorry we tried."
Sam jumped in on the heels of this. "If we can get on to it really soon, I'm willing to yield a chance at Phil to Chan. I'll insist on watching, that's my only condition. I know just a little of what she means to him, and he to her, and I'd rather die than stop him just so he can screw me once more, much as I want him to. I had my turn with him for this, earlier. Jenny said at supper, and then just now, how it worked for her today, but it was good for me, too, about the same way, maybe even better. At least, I even came twice. You've got my blessing, and I hope you can make it even better for her than it was for me."
So everyone looked at Jenny. She said, "Oh. I'm all for it, especially since I can hope for attention from Phil tonight or in the morning or both. Since Sam just said what she did. Ellen has been a great friend, and I'd be ashamed to say no. My only worry is for the rules about only your partner and being in your partner's room only. And I'm willing to tell them they need their heads examined if they try to get you two for that, in this case."
Ellen suddenly stood up and went over to Sam, pulling her up into a huge hug. "Thank you. I was ready to forgive you everything, on Phil's account, because he did. But now I see that as usual he doesn't mess up on that kind of thing. Thank you for your generosity! Can you please call me Ellen? And if you're willing, is it Samantha or Sam?" They kind of almost-cried at each other. Sam said, "Sam, if you will, but Samantha is fine, too. But really, Samantha died when Phil and Brown were willing to forgive me, and good riddance to her, and Sam is still trying to learn how to live differently. How to be different." They cried a little more, and Ellen turned to Jenny. They hugged and cried, too, without any words beyond a "Thank you" from Ellen. And Ellen turned to Jennings and hugged him and said, "Thank you for being generous and not jealous. I hope this will work, and kind of wipe out how inadequate I'm feeling, and you're letting me do it."
Finally, she turned to me. "Phil, I knew before we came here that if it were up to you only there wouldn't be any question. Will it really make it better for you if we wait for next week? I really, really don't want to, but if it matters, I guess I can. And thank you, once more. You were so gentle the first time, when we both knew it would hurt, and you made it so good, and then later you made it heavenly. I owe you so much, and here I am asking for more." She cried on my shoulder. Her beautiful curves were pressing into me. The other two girls were both beautiful—especially to me—but I still saw Ellen as the most beautiful girl in the whole class. And I was going to get to see her, and touch her, and be inside her again, now!
I realized I hadn't answered her question. "Since it's OK with everyone else, we will do it unless someone or something intervenes, and I hope that won't happen. But we have some practicalities to deal with. There are a bunch of those, too.
