The Hottie in the Window

1. Sightings

"Good heavens, there she is." Bob caught a glimpse of her shoulder length blond hair as she walked past his office window. He stood up out of his chair and drank in the sight of her as she made her way from her car to the front of the office building. This is why he came to work early. This is why he arranged his morning so he could be near his window. Just to watch this unnamed beauty walk from her SUV to the front of the building. He had barely gotten to his desk before the morning's entertainment had begun.

"What a naughty little minx you are, thinking you could get past me!" Bob had been talking to her more and more of late, chastising her for walking past while he wasn't looking, or thanking her for wearing her hair a certain way, sporting a particularly high pair of heels, or displaying herself in a spaghetti strap top and tight pair of jeans.

Bob chuckled to himself as he refocused his attention at the work on his desk. He had almost completed his paperwork when he heard a knock on his door. "Hey Bob!" Charlie entered Bob's office, eyes wide; like he just heard he was getting a pay increase. "Did you see that blond?"

"Hair down to here?" Bob indicated just to the top of his shoulder blades with his hand. Charlie nodded yes. "Wearing shades?" Again with the nod. "Five foot seven?" Nod. "Two inch heels?" Nod. "Drives the grey Ford Explorer." Stunned look. "License plate NCF-8385?" Stunned look. "Don't know who you're talking about."

It took a second for the joke to sink in. Charlie had a good sense of humor, but Bob was very quick-witted and feared no joke. As far as Bob was concerned, a groan was as good as a laugh.

"Hey, can you come look at my computer for a sec? It's doing something weird." Bob was up out of his seat before Charlie had finished his sentence. The paperwork was not urgent, and friends get better service than everyone else.

The fastest way to Charlie's office was through the lobby of the building, so they cut through like they normally do. Charlie opened the door to the lobby and completely forgot about his computer problem. There She stood in a green short-sleeve blouse and a form-fitting pair of Levi's talking to some guy. Fortunately, Bob looked up, or he would have run over Charlie. He was unabashedly ogling her and had stopped dead in his tracks to do so. Bob put his hands out and pushed him across the lobby. She noticed the commotion they were causing and regarded them with a long, lazy, emotionless glare before going back to her conversation. Bob's face flared red as he refocused his attention on Charlie and moved him across the lobby as quickly as possible. Charlie's hungry gaze didn't waver until they were into the next office.

"Nice. That was really subtle, Charlie." Bob ducked past and headed toward Charlie's office.

"What? She loved it." Charlie quickly refocused in the absence of a distraction. "You saw the way she looked at me."

"Yes. I saw." Bob plopped in Charlie's desk chair and moved the mouse to wake the computer up from the screen saver. "She was wondering if you were going to run over and try and drag her off by her hair."

"Ooo!" Charlie stared off into space. "There's an image. Grabbing a handful of hair as I lean her over the desk and do her doggie-style."

"What is your computer doing?" Bob found it much more difficult to concentrate on computer problems with the image of a beautiful blond bent over the desk screaming his name as he brought her to orgasm from behind.

2. Swindle

Tuesday started off much like Monday had. After checking email, changing out backup tapes, and filling out paper work, Bob headed off to the restroom to take care of a much more mundane task. He pushed the door out into the lobby, and as he turned left, he heard the door of the women's room open, and out She walked. Bob had just enough where-with-all to manage a "Good Morning".

"Your friend's a jerk." The expression on her face would have been understandable if he had called her a nasty name. Her pace never slowed as she rushed past Bob.

"I prefer to think of him as 'unfiltered'." She pulled up short but didn't turn around. "Anything that pops into his head comes out his mouth. Please allow me to apologize on behalf of my entire gender. Men are pigs."

She turned and closed the distance between them in two steps. "How?"

"I'm sorry. I don't understand."

"How are you going to make it up to me?" Suddenly, Bob felt like he was back in English class and the teacher was asking for the term paper he didn't complete.

"Uh...let me buy you dinner?" Maybe this was an opportunity.

She crossed her arms as she spoke. "Where?"

"Winston's Grill?" She seemed to mull it over for a second, and then held out her hand, palm up.

"I think I can get out of there for about $50." Bob knew he was trapped, and it had been a trap of his own design. No other option presented itself, so he reached for his wallet and pulled out two twenties and a ten, and handed them to her. "Thanks." She turned and went back in the office suite with a smile of smug satisfaction on her face.

3.Restaurants

"Wait, wait, wait. So this guy at work offers to take you to dinner to apologize for the shortcomings of his entire gender, and you take his money?" Jane followed Kelly and the waiter to a table in the middle of the restaurant. Kelly had called her at 2:00 and suggested a girls-night-out at Winston's Grill, and the first $50 was on her.

"Oh please. He was obviously trying to schmoose me." The waiter pulled out a chair and Jane sat down. Kelly, unwilling to wait, pulled the opposite chair out and seated herself.

"Can I get you ladies something to drink while you look over the menu?"

"Just water with lemon."

"Unsweetened ice tea." The waiter left and the girls started deciding what they would have for dinner. "I don't know. He gave you the money anyway. Sounds like he might be a nice guy."

"Or a complete wimp!" Kelly was absorbed in the appetizers.

"If he was a complete wimp, he would have never asked you out," replied Jane. "Do we want an appetizer?"

"I was just thinking about that." The ladies lapsed into silence as they perused the appetizer choices. The waiter interrupted them.

"Here we are ladies. Ice tea, water with lemon, and the Sterling Merlot." The ladies looked up from their menus.

"We didn't order any wine." Kelly didn't bother hiding the annoyance in her voice. If the waiter was going to be incompetent, this was going to be a long meal.

"Compliments of the gentleman at the bar." Kelly turned to see the guy from the office raise his drink in salute, down the last of it, place the empty glass on the bar, and walk out the door.

"Is that him?" When Jane didn't get an answer, she looked at Kelly, and saw the steam coming out of her ears. "Is that him?" she repeated.

"Yes," Kelly managed through clenched teeth.

"So 'nice' and 'cute'. HE's obviously chasing YOU." Jane went back to the menu.

Kelly spun back around to face Jane. "What makes you say that?"

"Your taste in men isn't that good." Jane decided to have the petite filet mignon.

Bob knew she'd be there. The way she walked in the building said volumes. She was angry, and her anger had fueled his resolve. He walked out into the lobby of the building on the pretense of going to the restroom. He was not surprised in the least when she started yelling the moment he came out the access door.

"You've got a lot of nerve showing up at the restaurant last night! I do not like being followed!"

"And I don't like being maneuvered out of fifty bucks by a very pretty girl who doesn't like being looked at." Bob's voice was low and calm, like the tone of voice police use to talk a jumper off a ledge. "Let's try this again. I'm going to be at The Butcher Block at seven o' clock for dinner. If you would like to join me and sit at my table, I would be more than happy to pay for your meal. Of course, you will be required to endure my company for approximately 90 minutes. That's 90 minutes for two very nice meals. I think you're getting a bargain."

Kelly was a little shocked. She had expected to really sink her fangs into this guy, but instead had gotten a compliment and another dinner invitation. She frantically tried to find something she could use against him. "Aren't you going to pick me up?"

"Do you trust me to know where you live?"

"No, I don't."

"I didn't think so. That's why I didn't offer." Bob slipped past her and into the restroom. "See you at seven." He was mildly surprised she wasn't standing there when he came out.

Bob was out in front of The Butcher Block at 6:45. He was dressed casually, but sharply. He decided to give her until 7:15 to show up, and then he would go in and eat by himself. He was very proud of himself for not jumping up off the bench when Her grey Explorer pulled into the parking lot.

"Good evening." Her lack of response was not surprising given the expression on her face. He moved to get the door for her. "You look fantastic." The storm cloud above her head just made it through the oversized door of the restaurant. Bob moved to the host station. "Hi. I have a reservation for 7:00 under the name of Ingram."

The hostess looked up after scanning her book for a few seconds. "Yes sir. If you'll follow me?" She sat them at a table on the back wall of the restaurant.

"Well, first things first. I'm Bob Ingram." He held out his hand across the table. She scanned it looking for a concealed weapon.

"Kelly Green." She shook his hand quickly. A smile crept across Bob's face. She always dreaded telling people her name. "Well, go ahead."

"No, no, I'm sure that you've heard every conceivable comment." She was looking uncomfortable and Bob didn't want to aggravate her any further. "Did your parents do that to you intentionally?"

"No. They didn't realize what they had done until I was ten." She opened the menu, hoping to stem the conversation.

"I'll bet high school wasn't very fun." Bob was hoping she'd take the bait.

"No, it wasn't. Teen age boys try to impress teen age girls any way they can. Most of them try to be funny." Kelly's first reading of the menu didn't stick. The waiter came over and asked for their drink orders.

"Did you like the wine last night? We could try something else if you'd like."

"Whatever." The wine reminded her that she was supposed to be angry with him for last night.

Bob watched her close up again and decided on a different wine. "We'll have the Zinfandel. Thanks." Bob eased off the joke he had in mind, but he filed it away for use later.

They settled into an uneasy silence as they hid behind their menus. When the waiter returned with the wine, Bob made a production of examining the cork, and tasting the wine. The waiter was happy to play along, and left them after pouring a glass of wine for each of them.

Kelly couldn't take it any more after reading the menu for the twelfth time. "What do you want?"

"I was thinking about the chateaubriand."

"No." Kelly put the menu down. "What do you want from ME?"

Bob put his menu down as well. "I want to have an engaging conversation with a beautiful woman over an excellent dinner."

"Bullshit."

Bob leaned in closer. "I'll make a deal with you. You can ask me any question and I will answer it truthfully. I will not lie to you. Ok?"

"Impossible!"

"Try me."

"Ok." Kelly's mind was racing for something to ask that he'd have to lie about. "Do you masturbate?"

"Yes." Bob saw Kelly's disgusted look. "In my experience, there are two kinds of men in the world; those that masturbate, and those that lie about not masturbating. Men are pigs." Kelly looked down, processing this new piece of information. She was having a hard time finding something to make her pissed off at this guy, and so far, he had done everything right. "What do you want?" Bob picked the menu back up. The waiter would be back soon.

"Not to be hurt again." Kelly looked up at Bob. She hadn't meant to say that. Bob sat stunned. Slowly he reached for his wine glass and offered a toast.

"To not being hurt again." Kelly slowly raised her glass to touch Bob's. They tasted the wine and returned their glasses to the table.

Bob took a deep breath. "Her name was Susan. We met my sophomore year in college. I fell in love with her almost instantly. I proposed six months later. We set the date for the summer after she graduated. She had wanted a medium sized wedding, about 75 people, which was fine with me. It was pretty much your 'groom gets left at the alter' story. I was essentially a shut-in for the next six months. I went to work and I watched TV. I even let the phone get disconnected. I've been on dates a few times in the past five years, but those were mostly set-ups by friends." Bob reached for his wine glass and took a swallow to calm himself.

Kelly realized it was her turn. That didn't make it any easier to start. "His name was Steve. I had just graduated when I met him. He was going to med school in the fall. I found a job and he moved in with me within four months. I was working and he was going to school. We were going to flip-flop after he graduated; he would work and I would go to school. One day I came home and the apartment had been cleaned out. I tried to call Steve, but I couldn't reach him. He never came home. I knew he wouldn't be coming back when I discovered the checking account had been cleaned out, too. The cops said there was nothing they could do." Kelly seemed to be trying to stare a hole in the table.

"To Steve and Susan. May they rot in hell." Kelly looked up to see Bob extending his glass again. After a final drink, the waiter returned and they placed their order. Dinner was pleasant, and the conversation ranged over various topics. Bob made an effort to focus the discussion on her and keep the banter light, discussing things like work, and hobbies. They really didn't have that much in common, but that didn't prevent them from having a pleasant meal together.

The waiter came and took the dinner plates away. Kelly excused herself to the restroom. When she returned, Bob was almost laughing to himself as she sat back down.

"What's so funny?"

"Men are pigs." Bob took another sip of wine.

"You keep saying that. What do you mean?"

"The veil that separates men from rolling around in the mud of their lusts is a thin one, and you can see them push the boundary if you look. When you went to the ladies' room, every man in this place watched you go, except for two old guys in the corner, and I think they may be dead. When you came back, I could feel their focus settle on me. I'm currently the most envied man in this room."

Kelly absorbed the information quietly. "So...you'll still answer any question I ask you truthfully?"

Bob finished his wine. "Yes. Ask me anything and I will answer you truthfully. Be careful what you ask, though. I will not spare your feelings to sacrifice the truth."

"Understood. What do you think of my boobs?" Kelly made sure to sit strait up in her chair without pushing her chest out.

Bob reflected that one bottle of wine shared between two people will loosen the tongue. "With the limited information I have at my disposal, I'd say they are excellent. I've thought that for a long time."

Kelly's brow wrinkled. "A long time? What do you mean '...a long time'?"

"Every morning, you park your Explorer, pull out your purse, your water bottle, and your lunch in a plastic grocery bag, and walk past my window into the office. I've watched you do that for over a year now. Men are pigs." This was not the first time that Bob had feared that his 'policy of truth' would send Kelly stomping out of the restaurant.

Kelly was stunned. "You've been checking me out for over a year?" Bob simply nodded. "I can't see in the building when I walk in." Her eyes became unfocused as she tried to remember anything embarrassing she might have done while walking in from the parking lot. She decided to go back to the original subject. "So you like them?"

Bob nodded. Her insecurity about her figure was an indicator. "Steve thought they were too small, didn't he?" Kelly reluctantly nodded yes, her eyes wide as saucers. "What a pig. I've never even met him, and already, I hate him."

Kelly fought desperately to regain her composure. "Well, 'More than a mouthful is a waste' anyway."

Bob suddenly got very serious. "You've never 'done it' with a girl, have you?"

Kelly again found herself on the defensive. "No. Why?"

"It's just when I hear a guy say something like that, I know immediately that he has no idea what he's doing." Bob turned to the waiter as he approached the table.

"Can I interest you in any desert?" Bob turned to Kelly with a questioning look. Kelly held her stomach and shook her head 'no'.

"Not even a piece of cheesecake to split?" At least Bob wasn't trying to get out cheep. Kelly again shook her head. "That will be all, thanks. Could we have the check?"

"I see what you're trying to do. You want to immobilize me with food and then have your way with me."

Bob made a big production of snapping his fingers in frustration. "Curses! Foiled again. How did you figure it out?"

Kelly sat back and took the napkin out of her lap. "Men are pigs." She paused, considering if she really wanted the answer to her next question. "How do you expect this evening to end?"

"I expect to be allowed to escort you to the front of the restaurant, letting these degenerates know that you are with me. Then I will bid you good evening and watch you walk to your car and drive away." Kelly was silent. The check came. Bob looked it over and placed some cash in the receipt book. "Are you ready?" Kelly nodded and while she collected her purse, Bob got up and moved to help her with her chair. She preceded him to the front of the restaurant. The gentle sway of her walk had Bob almost hypnotized by the time they made it to the front door. As she slowed, Bob said, "May I walk you to your car?"

"I thought you said you expected to..."

"I told you what I expected, not what I hoped."

"What are you thinking right now."

Bob rolled his eyes and sighed. "I'm imagining what you'd look like underneath me." Still telling the truth, regardless of the cost. Bob watched Kelly move gracefully down the steps outside the Butcher Block.

She turned after the last step. "I thought you were walking me to my car."

"Sorry. My fault." Bob moved quickly to her side as they traversed the parking lot.

When they reached Kelly's car, Bob decided it was time to violate Kelly's personal space. He moved to within six inches of Kelly's face. "I had a good time this evening."

"So did I." She looked into his eyes, unsure of what should happen next, unsure of what she wanted to happen next.

Bob held her eyes with his own, looking for some kind of sign, fearing that sign might come as a slap across the face. When Kelly's gaze slid down to his lips, he moved forward and kissed her softly, bringing his right hand up to stroke her cheek. She stared at him after he broke the kiss. Bob waited patiently.

Kelly made her decision. "Follow me." Bob sprinted off to his car. Kelly giggled to see this composed man break into a run like a little kid.

4.Collecting Data

Kelly drove up to her townhouse complex and pulled into her regular spot. Bob was close behind and went looking for a guest parking spot. She had taken it easy driving back to her place as much as she would have loved to make Bob chase her. The wine in her system made her a more cautious driver. She opened the door and deposited her purse and keys on the small table in the foyer. She had left the door open on purpose, and smiled to herself as she heard Bob close the door and follow her into the living room. She turned to face him. "I've got a question for you."