"Bimi," whispered Clara into the darkness, gently shaking her former teacher's shoulder. The two had elected to share a room, both to save expense for the innkeeper and to be close to one another so they could visit. Clara had been looking forward to the time with Bimi, but the pull of Lukas and the urge she felt to help play a role in ending the war was too strong. She needed to gather her belongings, but first she had to tell Bimi the truth, and where she was going. Well, the general direction of her plans; the specifics of their destination only Lukas knew.
Bimi rolled over and was alert instantly, a byproduct of years of being awakened abruptly and called to aid a sick or injured person. "Clara? What is it? Are the babes -?"
"They're fine," Clara reassured her quickly. "But I must speak with you on urgent personal matter. I'm sorry to wake you, but I'm leaving."
"Leaving?" Bimi sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "Has another village summoned you?"
"No, it's nothing like that. I..." How could she explain this to Bimi? "Three nights ago, I went into the woods to gather valdir." The whole story came spilling out, though she omitted the details of just how far things had progressed between her and Lukas physically. "I have to go with him. I have to. I feel it in my core, Bimi, and I know I'm meant to help him stop the war," she finished.
Bimi had been silent, listening. "That explains your sudden interest in Maharia."
"Do you think it's wrong for me to go?" Clara was desperate for her tutor's advice.
"No. You have good instincts, Clara, and you should rely on them. If this is what your heart is telling you, you must listen." She placed her hand, palm down, over Clara's chest. "
This
knows best. It is not for love alone you do this, but for the good of two nations."
Clara blushed. "I don't love him," she said, wondering if it was true.
Bimi gave her a look. "When you're as old as I am, you will recognize the signs of young love. Your mind is not yet willing to admit what your heart already knows."
"I've only just met him!" Clara objected. "I hardly know him at all, I couldn't possibly love him!"
"Sometimes love is wiser than we are, and it does not wait for us to catch up and realize the truth. You will believe what you must, little one, but the truth is evident. I only hope your mission is a success, and your love story does not turn out to be a tragedy." She moved her hands to Clara's shoulders, drawing her into an embrace.
Clara threw her arms around Bimi's waist, burying her face in her teacher's shoulder. If only she could just stay here, where things were simple. A part of her longed to be a little girl again, spending her days learning about herbs and directing her powers, where any hurt could be healed by her favorite tutor. Clara felt safe, here, and she knew it might be a very long time before she had that feeling again. Her and Lukas were undertaking something dangerous, and though she'd dismissed the threat to her because of being a healer, there was still a chance she might be accused of treason and put to death.
Was he
really
worth dying for? Not him, she silently corrected herself, but the mission. The chance to end the war and save thousands of lives, that was worth it. Even if her death meant only that more people might sit up and take notice, to join the cause, it would still be worth it.
And so is he
.
She shook her head, refusing to accept the depth of feelings Bimi credited her with. She was merely infatuated with a good-looking man, the matter of most importance was the cause. She'd been at the front lines, she'd seen the men dying needlessly on both sides. It had to stop, and she had a chance to help make that happen.
"It won't be a tragedy," she reassured her mentor. "If nothing else, our actions will bring more notice to the cause, and encourage others to take up where we leave off."
"I hope you're right," said Bimi, "And if I can help you at all, let me know." She rose from her bed, and went to rummage in the haversack she always carried. She produced a little parcel, which she thrust into Clara's hands. "Here."
Clara unfolded the package, wrapped with a handkerchief, and found a sizable pile of gold coins. She was so astonished they slid out of her hands and into her lap. "Bimi," she said in awe, "Where did you get this?" Though a Healer would never want for food or shelter, they were paid in room and board, or not at all, depending on the family. When a Healer became too old to work they returned to the school, where they were well-cared for until their death; but though they might never be hungry or out in the rain and cold, a Healer was never wealthy either. Occasionally a wealthy family might press a few coins on a Healer out of gratitude, but the stack in front of her now was more than just a few thankful families.
"It's best you don't know," said Bimi with a strange smile. "Just know that I have been saving it for such a time as this."
"I can't possibly take this," said Clara. "This is yours, you could retire in a nice home, with every comfort!"