When I first met Annie, six years ago, she was 24 and I was 33. I had just moved, and I needed to find a new hairdresser. I went to one of the local chain salons that cater to men, and Annie happened to be in the front when I walked in.
She was a little slip of a thing, about 5' 4" and 110 pounds. Small and slender, but she looked willowy and strong, not frail or skinny. Her hair was a color between auburn and chestnut, and she had it short and straight. Her face was strikingly pretty, her eyes an unusual dark green, her lips full and generous, her skin creamy and flawless.
She gave me a shy, sweet smile as she asked my name and told me hers, and I knew she was going to take care of me herself rather than handing me off to one of the others. I sat down to wait for her.
At the time, I was very happily married. I had no designs on the girl, but still, I was glad she was so pretty. I was glad that she seemed to find me likable, and I was hoping she would turn out to have the other qualities I look for in a hairdresser. Most important, of course, is her skill at her craft. Vanity, thy name is man, when it comes to hair, and I am no exception.
I have always had a special relationship with the women who cut my hair. When I find a good one, I stay with her.
I went to barbers when I was a boy, and at times when I was in the military and had little choice. Other than that, I have always chosen women. I have three reasons for that.
For one thing, I never cared about how I looked to other men. I wanted to look good to women, and I thought women would be better able to help with that.
Also, I learned early on that I really enjoyed the experience of getting my hair shampooed by a woman, especially an attractive woman. It's a strange thing. It is undeniably sensual, and yet there is an unspoken agreement that both parties will pretend it isn't, even if the one in the chair might occasionally moan quietly.
Obviously, I was not alone in my appreciation, as I saw more than one large chain of salons emerge leaning toward male clientele and offering options to extend and enhance the shampooing process, a marketing tactic that worked very well on me.
Finally, I just prefer the company of female hairdressers. I have close male friends, but I've never developed a warm personal relationship with a male barber. There is a different dynamic, at least for me. With women I have almost always had and enjoyed that undercurrent of attraction and flirtation. It is a light-hearted flirtation, usually with no intent on either side to take it any further.
Instead, we develop a strange friendship - it stays within the bubble of my visits every six weeks, but in that bubble, we become quite close. She shares little snapshots of her life with me, as I do with her. We talk about anything and everything; we can gossip about nonsense, but we can talk about serious things too. We know about and care about each other's lives, and we share very personal information because it is such a supportive and judgment-free relationship.
I do like the company of women in general, and women tend to like my company too. Some of that is luck. I am apparently pretty easy on the eyes. I still have a full head of thick hair, and although it started graying in my late twenties, Annie tells me that my shade of gray is very popular as a hair color choice for men. I am a size and shape that appeals to a lot of women, six feet and about 190 pounds, with broad shoulders and a relatively narrow waist.
I think it is also because I respect women, and I listen to them. I give their words and thoughts the same weight and credibility that I would if they came from a man. I recognize and admire character traits like strength and intelligence in women. It's not much, really, but the attitude is uncommon, and it's appreciated.
Annie prepped her station and then called my name. She asked me if I just wanted a haircut, and I said, "No, I'd like the full treatment, please."
"The full treatment?"
"I'm not sure what you call it here; the cut, the shampoo, the essential oils, the hot towel - the full treatment."
That sweet little smile again. I entered my info on a tablet on the counter, and in the comment section, she entered, "The Full Treatment."
Annie gave me a great haircut that day, and it was a joy talking to her. She was bright and sweet and funny and friendly. When she gave me the shampoo-massage treatment, her touch was magical. She could sense exactly what felt best to me. She took her time, and seemed to be enjoying herself, too. It didn't hurt that when I looked up, I saw that pretty face smiling at me. I was amazed at my luck finding her on my first attempt.
When we were done, she offered to write her name on a card for me so I could ask for her the next time, and I had to laugh. "Oh, I'm not going to forget you, Annie." She gave me that smile again and let me know the best days to catch her on shift.
In time I learned more about her. Despite her youth, she had proven herself to be reliable, competent, and smart as a whip, and she was already running the shop's operations when she was there.
She seemed to enjoy our visits nearly as much as I did. Soon she moved my regular spot to the end of her workday; usually we were alone in the shop. She told me matter-of-factly that she didn't like to have anyone waiting during my appointments. Our time together was warm and affectionate and casually flirty, but platonic. Some lines were never crossed or even approached.
She was married also; we had each been married a little over a year when we met. She seemed reasonably happy in her marriage, but I didn't sense that she had the kind of deep satisfaction I had in mine.