Note:
If you don't like flowery prose, similes, metaphors, gentle sex, and a dribbling of dry English humour then this, Earth Day 2010 competition entry, is not for you. If, however, you are willing to join me in a flight of fancy then I hope you enjoy the trip.
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The Fox and the Deer: part 1
Ralph Tailor is a man who enjoys life, and ever the more so when he is out walking his dog over the English countryside. Every day is an 'Earth day' for him as he pounds pathways through woodlands or lays tracks over open grassy fields.
Ralph is your typical Englishman: sound, upright, fair minded, and for the most part a just and noble man. As a middle-aged man he is in fine fettle and that being due, in no small part, to the support of his loving middle-aged wife, Jenny. They have been happily married for more years than neither I nor either of them would care to remember.
Of course, he nurtures the odd secret and, equally, nurses the odd ill. It was one of those odd ills he was churning over in his mind as he walked this one particular Friday evening in mid spring. He'd had knowledge that there may have been an indiscretion committed on the part of his wife and this troubled him in more ways than one.
If his wife had been complicit in this act then he would have to seriously consider his circumstances and his future's direction. He did find it hard to believe she could be guilty of an act of infidelity and he proffered further that if she had been involved then she would have informed him about the incident. She had, up until now, always been an honest open book!
The part of the problem that bothered him the most was that he had heard a general outline of 'the incident' from the lips of no other than the lady in question; however, to come out and challenge her directly would have exposed a little secret he had held since their early wedded days.
Thinking of how relaxing it is to wander through the countryside made Ralph fully aware of the 'Earth Day' concept and how much that day lends from Mother Nature. It was to that end he conjured up a way to broach the subject of his wife's misdemeanour. Once happy, having worked out the detail in his mind, he turned in his tracks and headed for home.
The Fox and the Deer: part 2
After dinner and while casually sipping red wine from a large glass, he caught the attention of his wife and remarked that he would like to relay a dream he had been having over the past week or so.
"A dream you say?" Jenny was a good communicator so would often repeat parts her husband's last sentence.
"Yes, it was a weird dream."
"Weird! In what way was it weird?"
"In as much that it was like a serialized story...almost like it was in chapters," Ralph paused to stroke his chin, pensively, to make it appear as if he was deeply searching his mind for an unfathomable hidden meaning.
"Every time the dream would start out the same but every time a little extra information would be tacked onto the end thus giving and revealing more vivid detail."
"Well, I've had repeat dreams before but never one as you describe, dear husband. What's the dream about?"
"Well, I'm walking over the fields at dusk. The light is fading fast as I approach the old picket fence over to the right hand side of the woods. You know the one I mean, don't you?"
"Yes I do, I love that area...'tis so pretty there," Jenny reminisced as her thoughts wandered across fields, down dales, and over grassy plains while the imaginary warmth of soft spring sunshine bathed her face.
"As I near the fence a small Deer comes wandering by and stops between me and the fence. It wasn't timid at all in fact it looked at me as if it had known me for years," continued her husband.
"As many years as we have known each other?" Jenny interrupted.
"Aye, 'ee could say that," he chirped back.
The fact that Ralph had slipped in the old West Country word 'ee then Jenny knew her husband's words would be tempered by warmth, calmness, and affection.
"Must have been a nice sight to behold for the Deer is such a delicate innocent creature," she purred.
"Stranger still, is when I tell 'ee that its face was your face: same elfin shape, same hazel eyes, same cute nose, and last but not least your full kissable lips."
"Ralph, are you sure this is your dream or are 'ee flirting with me? 'Tis not your sly manner working to get into my knickers now, is it? Shame, then is upon you, Mr Tailor?"
"Jenny, this is a serious dream as you will quickly discover. Its connotations for us could be dire," her husband fought hard to keep her attention by grimacing.
The earnestness with which he expressed his words alarmed his wife so she decided it was not the time for jest, "Dire, you say?"
Ralph lightened his knitted brow and relaxed his rigid frame; now that he had regained control of the situation, "Let me finish the dream...or should I say dreams?"
His wife's gentle hand reached across the dining table and in taking hold of his hand gave tacit approval for him to continue.
"The Deer was not the only creature there!"
"Oh! What else was there, my darling Ralph?"
"There was a Fox."
"A Fox, you say! And was it with the Deer?"
"No, the Fox was behind the Deer and some distance away but he was watching it, of that there was no doubt."
"I hope no harm comes to the Deer, she sounds so sweet!"
Ralph smiled inwardly in the knowledge that his wife had decided the Deer was female as had been his intention. He could now concentrate on the Fox; the sly cunning old Fox!
"The Fox wasn't in the original dream but showed up in the first repeat. He also looked my way but unlike the Deer, which had your features, its face had been pixelated out rather like some personality who should remain anonymous on a TV news item."
"Pixelated out, you say? How strange! I wonder what that means," queried his thoughtful wife, "Tell me what happens next in your dream?"
"The Deer seems to be unaware of the Fox so starts to graze. She turns away from him and spreads her front legs apart and lowers her head to nibble on some fresh green shoots. Can you picture that...her head down low...but her arse high in the air?"
"Under different circumstances such a sight like that could be very provocative," giggled Jenny while slowly rubbing the palm of her hand over the back of her husband's hand, the scenario having made her feel amorous, "What did the Fox do?"
"The Fox did something very...un-animal like...it stood there and started rubbing its penis, but when I say its penis I mean it was a human's penis and as big as any man's. The Fox was rubbing its penis as a man might rub his while privately watching an erotic movie, studying a dirty picture or reading a sexy Literotica story!"
Up to this point in time, Jenny was sure this was a come-on by Ralph but now she knew differently as dread now began to quell her growing sexual feelings. She willed her husband to continue though fearing she now knew the direction in which this tale was going. How could have Ralph found out she wondered; knowing only three people are aware of what happened on the previous Friday. She was sure the other two wouldn't soil her plan to make a clean breast of things, as arranged.
"Oh my god, what strange things happen in dreams but then I suppose everything is permissible in them," blustered Jenny as her cheeks flushed red.
Ralph studied his wife for a minute, or two, especially watching her eyes. He was aware, through the many years spent together, that the essence of his dream (parable) was having the effect that he had hoped for.
"The Deer looks back over its lowered shoulder and as she spots the cunning old Fox she cries out but, needless to say, she is too late."
"Oh Ralph!"