The Forever Ornament

~ Many thanks goes to Weird Harold for his advice and assistance. I am truly grateful to him for taking time to help me.~

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Each spin of the Christmas ornaments, on the brightly lit and heavily decorated tree, made Clayton want to both smile and cry. Each bauble on the tree held a memory of them together.

In fact, one of them was bought just five months before while they lay in bed, completely nude and spent, surfing the web on his laptop for fun to see what kind of unusual ornaments they could find. That made him search for the single blue duck they'd found that very night, right before making love yet again.

"I can't believe you're actually going to buy that, Clayton." She giggles.

"Of course I am. Can't have the world's weirdest tree without the world's tackiest ornaments. And face it, you just can't get any tackier than a blue metallic duck." Clayton tells her matter of factly.

She snuggles in close and makes him promise to hang it somewhere in the back of the tree, where finding it would require extensive search of the entire pine. He kisses her that promise and gives her another kiss for good measure before hitting the "submit payment" button.

He'd found it. Swaying slightly and shining bright beneath the popcorn string on the very top branch. He spied another bulb. It was a glass ornament that his mother had bought them the first year they'd moved in together. She'd squealed and hugged Mama like it was going out of style.

"Oh Jeanie, it's gorgeous! I wonder how they got all that gold glitter to form such perfect circles on the inside?" She wonders aloud.

"It wasn't easy. Trust me on that one." His mother assures her.

It would come to be her favorite on the tree.

Then, there was the green pine cone that she had made when she was in the fourth grade. Most of the paint had faded off and the tinsel, which had once been glued carefully with her nine year old hands, was now down to only one or two strands, but she couldn't bear to part with it. So, on the tree it went.

Clayton got up off of his knees and searched the tree for others that held such deep memories and feelings for him. They'd never mean anything to her again. The thought made him angry but he pushed it back.

He continued to finger the different decorations: A cinnamon bun made of plastic that he'd won for her at the fair on their second date; a small statue of Ronald McDonald; a bulb with their picture pasted on the front; a Christmas tree made entirely of the napkin he'd kept from the restaurant they'd gone to on their very first date.

In the middle of the tree, a tiny, red rose encased in a miniature, glass cylinder caught his eye and caused a small laugh to escape his throat. She'd bought it for him from a Dollar Store and it was the ornament that had begun their mission to have the gaudiest tree on earth.

"Just think, Clayton. We could have one of the worst trees on the block!" She says excitedly. "We can collect so many horrid ornaments that even your mother won't come to visit us anymore."

Clayton gathers her in his arms and smiles down at her, feeling lucky that he was blessed enough to find this unbelievable woman.

"So, you want to have a tacky tree huh?" Clayton smiles and kisses her nose. "Well, all right."

"It'll be so much fun. You'll see." She squeals excitedly.

That ornament has spawned the collection of many, many more. They truly had one of the strangest Christmas trees of anyone he'd known.

He then came to the last one on the bottom. He'd put it there just so he could sit and stare at it eye level. But as much as it angered him to do that simple task, he sat and stared at it anyway.

It was a white satin bulb and the only decoration it had were four words. He hated that bulb now for so many reasons but he refused to take it down. One day the hurt would go away and he would be able to look at it without crying. But right now, he needed the tears. He searched through the salt in his eyes to focus on that bulb again.

When they finish all of the Christmas shopping, she is turned in his arms and given a very serious look.

"Goodness, Clayton. What is it?" She furrows her brows at him.

"I was going to wait for Christmas Day to give you this. I'm giving it to you now anyway. So just answer yes or no. I'll understand either way." He tells her simply. She nods for him to go on.

Clayton reaches into his pocket and fishes out the ring he'd secretly picked up as they were shopping for his mom. He holds out the box to her and tries to read her expression. He can't. She's good at hiding her feelings as to make her a constant mystery to him.

"I want to marry you, have children with you, grow old with you, have tacky Christmas trees with you, and eat really bad things on Holidays forever and ever with you. You are the only one in my life that I am completely sure of. So, please will you be my wife?"

He didn't get an answer that day. She'd told him without cracking a smile that she needed to think it over and make sure she was giving the right answer when she gave it. He totally understood. He wanted her to think about it. He wanted her to have no regrets. Even though he knew she never would.

The police knocked on his door the next morning. She'd gone shopping for his gift and fell asleep at the wheel. She never even saw the semi truck coming. She was killed instantly.

Among her personal items was a brown paper bag with his gift inside. When he finally got the courage to look inside, his heart shattered into a million pieces for the unfairness of every single thing that happened that day.

When he finally broke out of his harsh memory of that day and gathered his senses, he took the bulb from the tree and turned it in his hands. He would look at it many more times in the months to come.

It was March now and he couldn't bear to take down the tree, or the bulb that had once been inside that paper bag she'd intended to give him. The white bulb that was supposed to be the best gift he'd ever received.

A white satin bulb with only four words written in red and green.

"My answer is yes."

The End...