The wee hours of dawn soon gave way to mid-morning and the sound of loud banging on his front door roused Eli from his sleep. Still not fully awake, he rolled over and stretched out his arm, fully expecting it to fall against the blankets as it always did. Instead, it fell across someone's body. Instantly his eyes flew open and he sat bolt upright in bed. Looking over, he was stunned to find his house guest lying there beside him. He jumped out of bed and immediately pulled on his pants, forgoing a shirt for the time being. He was about to wake Lili up and find out what she was doing in his bed when the knocking on his front door started up again.
Grumbling to himself he went down the stairs and looked through one of the small windows of his front door. Instantly he recognized his ex-girlfriend Ruby standing on the other side. Just looking at her was enough to make him roll his eyes and utter a few choice 'colorful metaphors'. He couldn't imagine why she had returned, but she couldn't have picked a worse time to do it. He should at least be allowed a cup of strong coffee before having to deal with such a colossal pain in the ass.
Eli opened the door and stared coldly into his ex-girlfriend's face, while she in turn only gave a sad regretful half-smile back. He hadn't seen her in about three and a half months and his life had been much better for her leaving. She looked the same, including the four inches of dark roots that were showing, although perhaps a bit trashier. Nothing says class like a pair of sweat shorts that didn't quite have enough material to cover her rear-end and had the word 'juicy' emblazoned across the back in gaudy sequins. Her shirt might have been okay, except that it was at least one size too small and torn at the neck in a pitiful attempt to make it more low-cut so she could show off her sagging cleavage. The purple bra that could be clearly seen through the white t-shirt was the final and perfect touch to her white trash ensemble. Eli had to hand it to her, Ruby never had self-confidence issues. How could she and dress like that?
"Yes?" He asked, already suspicious of her. He wasn't the only one less than pleased to see Ruby. Strolling in from the living room was Mr. Jingles. He took one look at his owner's former girlfriend and immediately started glaring at her with his ears slicked back.
"C-can we talk?" There was a hopeful look in her eyes, but Eli was convinced it was probably just gas. Still, he was curious to hear what she had to say. It had been a while since he had heard any good stories. Silently he stepped aside and allowed her in. Her large heavily made up brown eyes looked around then back at Eli. "Wow, you're really transforming this place."
"Oh, you like the paint job and the way I stripped and re-stained the staircase and entryway?"
"You did a great job, but then you always excelled at whatever you put your hand to," She answered sweetly.
"I haven't actually done anything to the entryway or the staircase. In fact, the last room I fixed up was the upstairs bathroom about six months before you left. Construction came to a temporary halt after you robbed me and took off," he remonstrated. "Now what do you want?"
"I missed you okay? Leaving you was a mistake and I realize that. The whole time I just kept remembering all the things we used to do together. How we used to snuggle up on the couch to watch television. The way we sometimes would cook together in the kitchen." She reached out and took his hand in hers before continuing. "Do you remember that night when we went out to Curly's catfish restaurant and ate until we thought we were both going to bust then came home and you couldn't wait to get me undressed?" She giggled and sidled up to Eli placing her hand on his bare chest.
"I've never eaten there, but I do recall that Curly's is near where Jimmy lives, isn't it?" He jerked his hand away then moved away from her. "You remember Jimmy, the guy you were having an affair with then left me for. What happened, did he finally get tired of you?" Ruby crossed her arms and she glared at Eli. "Careful, you'll crack the basecoat of your make-up."
"Yes . . . okay . . . Jimmy and I broke up. He was a self-centered ass and to be honest I couldn't stop thinking about you," she explained, trying once more to put on a show of contrition. "I missed that connection . . ."
"Really, I thought he was plugging in every chance he had."
"God you're an ass," Ruby snapped. "You know, we used to care about each other. We used to be something."
"So he dumped you and you're out of money."
"You son of a . . ." she started to say only to be cut off as Lilith came down the stairs dressed in nothing but Elijah's pale blue terry cloth robe.
"I hope you don't mind me borrowing this, but I wanted to come down and explain . . ." Lilith stopped suddenly cognizant of the tension in the room and the added awkwardness of her presence. Ruby was staring up at her in wide-eyed shock while Eli could only pinch the bridge of his nose with his eyes tightly shut in frustration. "Oh I am so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," The demoness said, quickly backing up and trying to sneak back up the stairs.
"No, no, you're fine. Ruby was just leaving," He explained, trying to move his ex-girlfriend to the door, but she wasn't ready to leave just yet.
"You act all high and mighty about Jimmy while trying to hide this bitch?"
"It's not what you think . . ." he attempted to clarify.
"Well, aren't we just two scoops of grumpy in a bowl full of bitchy this morning," Lili commented as she adjusted the tie on the robe so it wouldn't come loose and expose more than Eli's ex would want to see. "Actually, I'm the original bitch, if you must know," she continued casually, looking down at the walking white trash glaring up at her. "And I refuse to apologize for it since no one has ever apologized for making me that way."
"Lili is just a friend . . ." He continued, trying to prevent the obvious misunderstanding that was beginning to rise. The demoness could see what he was doing and immediately tried to help.
"Yes, there is nothing between him and me, we just slept together," the words barely left her mouth and Eli instantly face-palmed and managed to mumble 'oh God'.
"We didn't sleep together," he said, trying to clear things up. "We were just in the same bed."
"Riiight and now she's wearing your robe."
"Exactly," Lilith answered brightly.
"If you want to screw around with the first thing that crosses your path then fine, but don't try to make me out to be the whore for running off with Jimmy."
