Tonight, something new is discovered, and the possibility of deeper emotion is discussed.
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"Not tonight, John. Please. I'm so sore," I told him, half-laughing. We were lying in bed together, the candlelight casting flickering shadows across our naked bodies. His hands were trailing all over me, but I was exhausted. We had made love every night for an entire week. While I enjoyed it (a huge understatement), I was also newly deflowered, my sex not yet accustomed to the harsh, demanding pressure of his. I was sore, and I had dark fingerprints on my hips. He didn't know about thoseβI hoped he wouldn't find out. John was a great one for berating himself.
His roaming hands stopped, and he rolled away. "I'm sorry, Eleanor. I should have thought about that."
I smiled. "Forgiven." I leaned over and snuffed out the candle by the bedpost.
"I want you to know something," said John after a few minutes, his voice sounding abruptly in the dark.
"Hmm?" I said muzzily, feigning sleepiness. I was, in fact, wide awake, and highly aware of his fiery warmth so close to me.
"I don't only make love to you for myself. I...I love seeing you happy. And any pleasure that I can give you, in any way, makes me...very, very happy."
I let out my breath in a small sigh, and felt my heart flutter a little. I had known John for a total of three weeks, and been in his bed for two. Could he really feel this for me so soon? Boldly, I asked the question that was hanging in my mind.
"John, are you trying to say you love me?"
He paused a moment before answering. "Truthfully, I don't know. I've only known you three weeks," he added, echoing my earlier thoughts. "As of now, I would say that I respect you. And I do care for you, and for your happiness. I would like to love you, to be in love with you. I think it will come, in time."
At first, pondering his words, I was a little hurt, although I couldn't pinpoint exactly why. It was only to be expected that he wasn't head over heels in love with me. And to be honest, I didn't love him either. But he was rightβI knew it would come.
I reached over and laced my fingers through his. "Thank you. For your honesty."
I felt his smile in the dark.
"Eleanorβ"
"You can call me Nora, if you like. It's what everyone at home calls me."