I'm a nervous wreck. My palms never sweat, but of course they are now! I don't know why I am feeling this way. We have been talking online for a long time and have become close friends. No admissions of love. Actually, it's been quite the opposite. Both having been hurt in the past, neither really wants to risk it right now. We, have, however, had some rather racy conversations. I think it only added to our friendship. We have an understanding with each other and feel safe in that. I had vacation time available and asked if you wouldn't mind if I came out for a visit. Just to make sure we behaved and didn't give in to our body's desires, I brought along my 3yr old. He would be a distraction for sure. I wanted to go site-seeing and you were more than willing to be my host. I booked my flight, nice hotel room and a car for the trip. I planned on staying a week so we could deepen our friendship and I could see as much of the area as possible.
So, here I am getting ready to disembark the plane. I grab my son and our two carry-ons and head down the taxi-way. I've been going over in my head exactly how to greet you. Do we wave, shake hands, embrace? What would be proper? I decided to let fate guide me and walked with new confidence towards the area you would be waiting. I'd only seen a couple pics of you, but I made sure you knew exactly who to look for. I grabbed my son's stroller that was waiting right at the exit and adjusted him and our bags then headed towards the luggage area. As I came down the escalator, I spotted you immediately. The look of concerned concentration and intuitive depth emanated from you. Butterflies filled my stomach as I approached you. You turned slightly to the left missing me by a millisecond. I snuck up to your side and said just loud enough for you to hear.
"Hey handsome, wanna go get a room and mess around for a while?" A redness started to rise in your cheeks when you turned around and saw me. Your face immediately changed into a huge beaming smile. You quickly grabbed me and embraced me. I only wrapped one arm around you as I was holding my son's stroller with the other. You planted a quick kiss on my cheek then knelt down in front of the stroller. In the back of my mind, I swear you tried to cop a feel, but I told myself it was my imagination. We are just friends, after all.
"Well, hello there little man. I have a lot of fun things planned for you and your mommy." You gave his hair a little tussle and stood back up. "How many bags do you have?"
"I have two suitcases and his car seat." My mind was still racing and my body was reeling from your embrace. Yes, this was going to be a fun week.
We walked over and grabbed out luggage. The whole process took over an hour due to a mix-up with car seats. We then walked over to the car rental booth where I picked up the keys.
"Are you hungry?"
"Yes! Our layover wasn't long enough for me to grab anything. I practically had to run to my connecting flight. All I've had are a couple bags of peanuts and some soda."
"Good, I know just the place to go. Go grab your rental car and meet me at the QT down the street. We can drop my car off at my place, check you guys into your hotel, and then go eat. Sound ok to you?"
"Sounds perfect." You leaned over and kissed my cheek and shivers ran down my spine. I tried to act nonchalant but I think you caught that. I watched as you strode away in the opposite direction. My mind again racing to the possibilities that this week would bring. I snapped back to reality reminding myself we were only friends. I went to my awaiting car and drove down the street to meet you at the QT. When I pulled up I saw you leaning against your car, arms crossed in front of you, chatting with a woman. Immediately a swell of jealousy rose in me. It nearly prompted me to get out of the car and make a complete ass of myself. "Dammit girl, get a hold of yourself or you won't even have a friend at the end of this trip." I pulled up beside you and waved. You flashed your big beaming smile and the woman standing there raised her eyebrows, turned and gave you a friendly sock in the arm. I saw you chuckle then you gave her a quick hug and walked over to me.
"Well, little lady, ready to get moving?"
"Sure am. Lead the way oh great navigator of the city." You chuckled then brought my hand up to your lips and gently kissed it. I hadn't even noticed you had taken my hand in yours. I looked up into your eyes and thought I saw something there, but I didn't want to read anything into it. You fancied your self a proper gentleman so I just chalked it up to that. You let loose of my hand then headed towards your car. Yes, this definitely was going to be a fun week.
I followed you to your place so you could drop off your car. You ran inside to quickly grab something. I saw someone peeking out the front window and wanted to hide. Thankfully, you came out and hopped into the passenger seat. I pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the city. We had light conversation as you interjected directions once in a while. You directed some of your conversation to my son. It seemed to flow so naturally from you. Part of me expected you to reach over and put your hand on my leg. Actually, part of me was hoping you would, but friends don't do those sorts of things. As soon as I pushed the thought out of my head, you rested your arm on the back of my seat while letting your hand hang over and softly caress my shoulder. At a red light I looked over at you. You slid your hand caressingly against my cheek and gave me a soft smile. My mind started reeling again. What am I supposed to think? What am I supposed to say? Should I be feeling these things?