This story includes non-consensual sex. If that bothers you, please skip this.
Desperado, song by Glenn Frey and Don Henley of The Eagles
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Kent
It was a slightly gloomy spring day, just a bit chilly and overcast. Kent wandered down the strip mall, not that he wanted to buy anything, but he was tired of sitting alone in his apartment. He didn't have a TV, since there was little or nothing he wanted to watch. He read his books, or maybe went down to the clubhouse of the apartments to play pool. He was by no means a pool shark, but he could play adequately.
There was a private party in the clubhouse today though, so he couldn't do that. During the week, he'd normally be at his job, but this was Saturday. Kent worked as an accountant at a CPA firm. That left him near the bottom of the totem pole. At the top were the partners, then the non-partner CPAs, then the CPA candidates who hadn't passed the test yet. Being just a staff accountant, he was only slightly above the support staff.
Kent had no girlfriend. He'd always been a bit shy around women, particularly the pretty ones. He found himself tongue-tied, and when he could manage to speak to a woman, apart from business, he always seemed to say something to blow up his chances. Sad, but it seemed to happen so often that Kent often didn't even bother to try any longer.
At any rate, Kent wandered down by the shops, usually not even bothering to go inside. He'd look in the windows, but never saw much to catch his eye. As he walked some rain began to fall. He looked out and could see a wall of rain, moving down the street. As miserable as he felt, he didn't want to get soaked, not when it was already chilly, so he ducked in the nearest shop.
The shop was kind of an unusual one, which sold little hand-made knick-knacks made by local crafts people. Most of it was stuff that Kent thought was total junk. As he walked through the store, trying to wait out the rain, his eye was caught by some little crocheted elephants. Essentially they were covers for a small container of cleanser, but were cute in their own way.
They were two-tone with a base color and a lighter accent. The elephant seemed to sit on its butt with four little puff balls of yarn for feet, with a darker outer section and a lighter inner one. They had larger floppy two tone ears and a trunk alternating between the two colors with a white pipe cleaner to give shape to the trunk.
As he looked at them, a clerk in the shop came up to him. She was about 5'2" and 110 pounds, slender but with a nice shape and smallish breasts. She had a cute face and brown hair not quite to her shoulders. Her hair was tucked behind her ear on the right side and she had a flower behind her ear. She had a sweet smile as she walked up to Kent. She wore jeans that weren't too tight, with a pink blouse and some nice flats.
"Can I help you with anything?" She asked.
"I... um... was... uh... just browsing."
"Those elephants are kind of cute, aren't they?"
"There's lots of cute things around here."
She brightened even further and did a sexy but embarrassed squirm. "So what else caught your attention?"
"What or who?"
"You tell me."
"I see you have a flower behind your ear. I read that in the South Pacific, a woman would have a flower behind one ear to say she had a boyfriend, or behind the other to say they were looking for one."
"Interesting. Which ear was which?"
"I can't recall."
"I just have the flower because I like the way it looks."
"It looks very nice - you look very nice."
"Thank you."
"I... well... my name is Kent."
"I'm Elizabeth, but most people call me Liz."
"Is that what you like being called?"
"It'll do, for now."
Kent looked around the shop. Liz seemed to be the only clerk, and Kent was the only customer in the place. He wasn't sure what he should do. He knew what he'd like to do, but he'd been shot down so many times that he was hesitant to put himself out there again. Liz could be flirting with him, but it might just be someone trying to make a sale on a slow day.
"The... um... elephants?"
"They are cute, and they aren't too expensive. There's a retired lady who makes them for a little extra cash."
"I do kind of like them."
"Is there anything else here you see that you like?
Kent looked at Liz, looking straight into her eyes, and found himself almost lost in those eyes. Of course there was something else he liked - he liked Liz, but that might not be what she meant. Kent thought about Liz - thought about his lips touching hers. He actually leaned very slightly forward, and saw Liz's eyes get very big. Kent blushed and pulled back, looking away as he did.
When he looked back that way, Liz was looking down and looking a little embarrassed. Kent wasn't sure if he was wrong to move like he was going to kiss her, or whether he was wrong to stop. Either way, he had screwed up, yet again. He was confused and ashamed and grabbed two elephants off the shelf, one grey with white accents, and the other blue with powder blue accents.
"I... um... I'd like these."
Liz looked at Kent, with a sad expression, turned and led him to the cash register. She rang up the two elephants, and started to bag them. Kent took the blue one and handed it to Liz.
"I'd... like you to have this - from me."
"Really? Okay. Thank you."
Kent got the bag with the grey elephant. He looked out the window to see that the rain had blown over. He looked back at Liz, wondering if he should do or say anything else. Just before he turned to go, Liz spoke.
"Come back again if there's anything else you'd like."
"Thank you. I... will."
Kent wasn't sure how to take that. Was she saying she was interested in him, or was she just being polite to a customer and giving him a routine pleasantry? He wasn't sure. He'd been wrong so often that he felt gun-shy. Liz was pretty, and Kent would love nothing more than to get to know her better. As he walked to the door, Kent turned to look, to see Liz turned away from him, looking at a shelf.
He assumed she had no interest in him, and that was her way of showing it. Kent shook his head, and walked out the door. At the sound of the door, Liz turned, unseen by Kent, with a look of disappointment. Kent walked away, not looking back. Liz took a deep breath, releasing it with a ragged sign and turned back to her work.
....................
Kent got back to his apartment, which seemed even lonelier than before. He took the little elephant from the bag and put in on a bookshelf. When he looked at the bookshelf and saw it, it reminded him of Liz, which pained him. He moved it to a spot where he wasn't as inclined to glance, which lessened the pain somewhat.
Kent thought about making some dinner, then decided he had to get out and at least somewhat be around other people, even if he didn't interact much with them. There was a pub he went to occasionally, just to get out. He went over there to grab a deli sandwich, a beer, and just get slightly away from himself.
The pub had two rooms, connected. One had the bar and some booths and tables. The other had several tables and booths along with a riser that served as sort of a stage. Once in a while they would have musicians there to play, though with more than three people, it got pretty crowded on that riser. Tonight they had a DJ, with a sound system playing mostly oldies.
That room wasn't as crowded as the room with the bar, and Kent easily found an empty table. He ordered a beef and bird sandwich, roast beef, turkey, and swiss cheese on onion roll, and also got a beer. Kent ate his sandwich and drank his beer, not paying a lot of attention to the rest of the room. He looked up at one point, and saw Liz, sitting by herself at a table about twenty feet away.
Kent was astonished to see her there, and just a few hours after he first met her. He stared over her way, until she turned her head, saw him, smiled, then looked back away. Kent realized he was staring and almost creepy in the way he looked at her, so he tore his eyes away, though he glanced back over there frequently. He never saw Liz turn back in his direction.
Kent decided she was trying to be nice, but had no interest in him, which was pretty typical for his interactions with women. That depressed him, but he was often depressed by women. Kent was beginning to think perhaps he should go back to his apartment, as depressing as that could be. As he sat there, Liz got up walked up to the DJ and spoke to him.
Liz then walked back to her table and sat down, never looking directly at Kent. He thought that was a little unusual, and wondered if she knew the DJ. As all this ran through his head, the song that was playing ended and the DJ started a new song. Kent's attention was seized by the song and he found himself listening to the Eagles sing Desperado.
"Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? You been out riding fences for so long now."
Kent found himself drawn to the lyrics, listening to every word. Each one seemed to strike a chord in him, ever deeper.
"Now, it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the ones that you can't get."
And wasn't that true? Kent all too often had been drawn to the prettiest women, shunning the women who might have gone out with him, and might have had some interest in him. Kent sat there thinking about his life, and what he had indeed passed up, along with the possible happiness he had foregone as the song drew toward its close.
"Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? Come down from your fences; open the gate. It may be raining, but there's a rainbow above you. You better let somebody love you, before it's too late."
As he sat there, Kent had a deluge of thoughts. Did Liz request that song? Was she sending a message to him? Somehow Kent felt that whether or not Liz requested that song, that the universe was sending him a message. He had spent too much time being depressed and alone, shutting himself off from others. All he was doing was hurting and depriving himself.
Should he go try to talk to her? What if she wasn't really interested in him? At this point, it almost seemed whether or not she rejected him, he had to at least try. Kent could never forgive himself if he didn't try. Kent grabbed his glass of beer, stood up on very shaky knees and walked over to the table where Liz was sitting.
