THE FIRST LESSON
Edward Kim looked around his office. It was furnished with a large wooden table and several wooden chairs. Typical furniture found in any university library. On one wall there was a whiteboard, and on the opposite wall was the door to the room. It was made of glass and anyone walking by could easily see inside. A fact of which Edward was keenly aware of, but other than that, it was a nice quiet room. A perfect place for him to study and work on his dissertation for his Ph.D. in mathematics.
Since he was a doctoral student, he was able to reserve the room for months at a time, and it had turned into his proxy office where he had spent the last year working on the more challenging sections of his graduate work. Edward had no real difficulties with the first part of his program, but recently, his studies had turned into a chore that he had been avoiding. Looking around at the room, he sighed because he was unsure of how many more years, he would have to spend there.
Edward was a first-generation Korean American man. When he was younger, he looked like a stereotypical Asian nerd. He had been skinny to the point of being malnourished and always wore thick glasses, dressed in wrinkled T-shirts with tech slogans on them, and had patches of acne covering his face. As he grew older, his acne cleared up, he dressed better like a young professor in slacks and button-down shirts, got rid of his glasses for contacts, and while still thin, he wasn't skinny anymore after having grown into his body.
Women did not throw themselves at him, but little did he know that if he tried, his advances would have been accepted more times than not. Especially, because of his deep and raspy voice. He knew it was his most attractive quality. However, there was one problem. He never knew what to say.
Though he was twenty-eight, he had little to no real experience with women. For the most part, he was not a very social person preferring to spend his time alone, quietly working on equations or studying some new mathematical theorem. With math, there were no grey areas. There was always a right or wrong answer. For this reason, he always found that solving high-level, theoretical math problems was far easier than trying to say something interesting to a pretty woman at a party.
Because of all this, he was absolutely dreading his next assignment. Every doctoral student had to teach, and because he was so socially inept, his fear of speaking in public was immense. Since he was having problems focusing on his dissertation, he decided to take the time to improve his teaching skills. Like everything else he attempted, he analyzed the situation and broke it down into smaller, more manageable tasks. Eventually, he decided to start things off as easy as possible by tutoring undergrads individually one by one.
Though it was a seemingly simple task, Edward grew increasingly nervous as the time approached for his first tutoring session. To calm himself, he paced back and forth in his little office while rehearsing his opening intro to the lesson. He became so engrossed in his inner monologue that he didn't realize his first student had already arrived.
"Are you Professor Lee?" a sweet, innocent voice asked.
"No. I mean, yes. But I'm not a professor yet. You can just call me Mr. Lee or Edward."
"Hi, I'm Stacey," she said.
Stacey Nakamura was a second-generation Japanese girl who had round chubby cheeks with cute dimples that appeared only when she smiled. She was petite standing at around 5 feet 2 inches tall, and for an Asian girl, she was surprisingly busty and had an overall curvy figure. Edward couldn't see this quality of hers because her body was mostly hidden under an oversized hoodie.
Unlike Edward, Stacey was extremely social. Not only was she an attractive young woman, she was also a very sweet, giving person making her one of the more popular girls on campus. Everyone she met was drawn to her.
Though she knew a lot of people, there was a side of Stacey that she kept hidden. She had a mischievous, playful side to her that she only shared with people she truly cared about. She would constantly tease her close friends and test boundaries by saying or doing outrageous things to elicit shocked reactions from them. It was how she got to know people and also how she showed her affection.
"Nice to meet you, Stacey. Come in. Have a seat," he said and motioned for her to put her things down next to his chair so that they could work side by side. Stacey walked into the room and set her things down. Once she got situated, she turned to him.
"Ready," she said with a smile.
They talked for a bit to find out where she was in her studies and how he could help her. Then he started outlining his teaching methods. It was the speech he had been practicing before she arrived. As he tried to recite it, his nerves got the best of him. He stuttered a bit, then stammered, then repeated himself a few times.
Stacey couldn't understand anything he was saying. His words were coming out a jumbled mess. So instead of paying attention to what he was saying, she paid attention to other qualities about him, and the first thing she noticed was his voice. It was deep and raspy, and it mesmerized her a little. She had no idea until then but she had a thing for men with deep voices. Her thoughts wandered. She wondered what kind of man he was, and what kind of women he liked to...
"How does that sound?" Edward asked.
"What?" Stacey asked snapping to attention.
"I said, how does that sound?"
"Oh, good," she said. "Everything sounds good to me."
"Okay, great. So let's get started with some simple problems."
As the lesson continued, Stacey had a hard time concentrating because his voice kept distracting her. She got lost a few times and had to ask him to repeat himself. He must think I'm such a ditz, she thought.
But Edward was so focused on himself, he thought he was doing a poor job of teaching her. He blamed himself every time she asked him to repeat something. His explanations were confusing, he thought. This made him feel even more self-conscious, and the thought intensified his social anxiety making his words come out even more jumbled than before.
What made things worse was when their hands accidentally touched. Halfway through their lesson, while Edward was holding the textbook open, Stacey pointed at an equation, and in the process, her fingers accidentally grazed his hand. Then for some reason, she left her hand on top of his and gave him a gentle pat. To Stacey, it was nothing more than a friendly gesture. She was hoping that her hand on his would calm his nerves, but it did the opposite.
For Edward, that light touch was more physical contact than he was used to. It had been a while since he had been with a woman, and her hand on his sent a rush of emotions through him. It felt so nice that he didn't move his hand away at first, but then he thought about someone walking by his library office and seeing Stacey's hand on his. The thought made him snatch his hand away from hers.
His reaction surprised Stacey. She wasn't used to a guy pulling away from her like that. It made her wonder if there was something wrong with him. Then she wondered if there was something wrong with her. Either way, she needed to know why he acted the way he did. Her curiosity about him grew.
Edward was lost in thought as well. All these emotions raced through him, and he tried to clear his head but couldn't. His nerves, once again, got the best of him, and he froze for a moment.
"Are you okay?" Stacey asked.
"Sorry, I was trying to think of something and just got lost."
"I know the feeling."
At that moment, he didn't know why but he opened up to her. Maybe it was because she was from a completely different world than his, and there was a certain anonymous comfort in confessing your problems to a stranger. Maybe it was because she was Asian like him, and he felt a certain familiarity with her. Or maybe it was because of her inviting smile that put him at ease. But for whatever reason, Edward found it surprisingly easy to open up to her.
"This is my first time," he said.