The Descending Of Jessica Ch 11

So, in the last chapter we finally arrived at Brent's big fuck up. If you haven't read the previous 10 chapters, you probably should, or you will have no idea what is going on. I haven't as yet gotten a lot of feedback since Chapter 8, so there's not much to say here. Sorry for the delays in getting this out, but as I've said before, life has been busy. I'm still working on spelling and punctuation. I noticed just now in the Chapter 10 that I used the word "heel" when I meant "heal", and obviously spell check wouldn't catch that, but if I correct it now it will put off publishing by another four days. (note, just now I had to go back and correct some punctuation as chapter 10 was rejected as they apparently don't like that sometimes I put punctuation outside the quotation marks, or ignoring it altogether in the style of e.e. cummings and T.S. Eliot. I imagine my Twainesque occasional disregard of spelling contrivances is an irritant as well. So its going to be another 4 days anyway, but I couldn't find the heel/heal error again so it is still there. Ha! First world anarchy strikes again!)

Remember, all the names have been changed.

As always if you want to skip the the nasty part, well, I'm not sure where that will happen in this chapter. We have a lot of ground to cover. But if you want to see how the story ends, just jump to the last page. I wouldn't recommend that though as you'll miss the nasty parts.

Finally, thanks for reading my story and the feedback, comments and emails I have gotten. I realize I can be wordy, and to a lot I don't write enough sex scenes to cover so many pages. That said, its how I write and I don't pretend its for everyone. I think that's it for this prologue, and I'm really just putting off the inevitable pain of recalling the events of the next few pages anyway.

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I made it back to my campus and dorm in record slow time. What usually took me just over an hour took closer to four this trip as I pulled over and wept at every other exit. My heart was broken, my body was in physical pain from my sorrow alone, and my soul felt empty and dead. Before we dated, literally minutes before, Brent had told me I couldn't know if I could trust him but that I could have faith that he loved me. Just a couple weeks before, when Carolyn caught Steve with the same whore, I remember thinking that I would never have to worry about that with Brent. How stupid could I have been? I had learned to trust him fast, within days of our romance beginning, and had faith in his love since before them. In one moment he had destroyed both, and destroyed me.

I entered the lobby and several girls I knew from the dorm and class were there waiting for rides to pick them up and take them home. Some saw me and could tell something was wrong, but I waved off any conversation and ran up the stairs to my room. I entered the common area of my room and those it adjoined just as Trisha was leaving to go home for the weekend with her father. Well, at least I could be alone.

"I thought you were going to your pare.... whats wrong?" She said, changing her sentence to a question upon seeing my bloodshot eyes and smeared mascara.

"Brent cheated" I gasped.

"Oh no honey, he wouldn't do that, its got to be a mistake or,"

"I caught him." I cried as I pushed against the door she had just locked.

"Slow down Miss Jessica," her father Tim said with his baritone voice. "Are you okay?"

"No, I hurt!"

"You want us to get you something, is there someone we need to call for you?" Tim asked, as softly as he could.

"No, I just need to be alone." I wept as I tried to get my key in the door.

"I'll stay, Daddy you go on, make sure the boys win tonight!" Trisha said. I remembered it was their home coming game and Tim would be there to coach.

"No, you go on with your dad. I just need to be alone. Okay?"

"You sure? I don't mind." Trisha said, with genuine understanding in her voice.

"Yes. I can't talk anymore." With that I opened the door and fell on the bed crying.

"Daddy, you go on. I can't leave her like this." I heard Trisha say.

"No!Go! I just want to be alone! Please!" I begged.

"Okay, but you call me later so I'll know you're all right. Promise?"

"Yes. Please leave me now. Please." I whimpered.

Finally she shut the door and I was in the privacy I craved. I don't know how long I lay there, crying in my pillow, but at some point I curled up in a fetal position on the bed. Although drained physically and emotionally, I couldn't sleep as I was wound too tight and was too upset. My phone never stopped ringing either and it was beginning to irk me. I finally looked at it to see a dozen or so messages from Brent, and twice as many texts. I deleted the messages without listening. I didn't want to hear some bullshit and didn't think I could stand to hear his voice. I didn't delete his texts as they didn't make any noise to bother me, but I didn't read them either. I just filed them away with all his others. There were a couple of calls from Allison, one from Carolyn and three from Sarah, or "The Brat" as I was now calling her. These I would need to return,

First Allison. I rang her number and she answered on the first ring.

"Jessica! Are you okay?"

"No" was all I could say. For some reason just hearing that question caused me to hurt again.

"Look, Brent called and told me what happened. When you get here you two need to talk, I know you're upset but he has an explaina..." was all she got out before I interrupted.

"There is no explanation! I know what I saw! I don't want to talk to him, or talk about him. And I'm not coming home, I'm staying here!" I said, almost shouting.

"Jessica!"

"No! I don't want to talk about it! I'm staying here, I talk to you later," and as I was about to hang up thought to add "I love you."

"We love you too" I heard as I hit the red bar to end the call.

Since I had already called Allison I knew the Brat would be offended if I didn't call her next, so I pulled her up in contacts and hit call.

"Hey sis! Are you okay?"

"Hey Brat, how are you?"

"I'm worried."

"Don't be. Its not a problem for you."

"Yes it is! Whatever he did to hurt you hurts me too!" With hearing that I was glad at least someone had my back, although it depressed me to think Brat was hurting emotionally after all the heartbreak and havoc her young life had already shown her.

"Sarah, remember when you were at group home and felt like nobody in the world cared and how bad that hurt?"

"Yeah."

"That's how I feel right now."

"But I care about you, Dr Ron and Allison care about you!"

"I know, but, I mean, the hurt is kinda the same. Only worse. I don't really want to talk about it 'cause it make it hurt worse." I tried to gently explain.

"I thought we could talk about anything?" she asked, showing her immaturity to such matters.

"We can, just not that, not now anyway. Maybe sometime. Okay? How was school?

"Okay. I got your back. Brent is a dick. School was okay, I'm doing better in math now, I think. Remember when you told me the equal sign was like a scale and everything on the right was just a different way of saying everything on the left?"

"Yeah"

"Well that helped a lot. Thanks!"

"You're welcome. Brent is a.... a lot better at math than I am, he can help you more I bet." I stammered as I said his name and the hurt that was gone for a few moments returned.

"I'm not speaking to him."

"What? Don't be like that."

"I mean it! He hurt you and I'm not speaking to him. Ever!" Sarah shouted and I heard Ron in the background scolding her.

"You don't have to do that. Its me that isn't speaking to him."

"Then its me too. Sisters before misters."

"Where in the world did you hear that?" I laughed for the first time in hours.

"The home."

"Oh. Yeah, well,, look. Ron and Allison are great and they are going to take great care of you. So be nice around there and listen to them, okay?"

"Okay. When are you coming home?"

"I... I don't really know where home is anymore. But..." I blubbered as I was crying again, "But you're always going to be my sister. Understand?" I gasped.

On the other end Brat was crying too. "Come home now! I miss you!"

"I can't, but I'll see you soon. I promise. I can't talk anymore right now, I need some cry time, okay?"

"I love you Sissy." She whimpered.

"I love you too Brat." I cried, and could talk no more.

I crawled back into bed. I had no idea what time it was, but I knew I couldn't talk anymore right now. I probably lay there for another hour, and my phone vibrated several times until I eventually got up and checked it again. Shit. Carolyn had called again twice more and Allison had called as well. Carolyn had left messages that she was worried, and Allison had left none.

I called Carolyn back as I had already talked to Allison once.

"Jessica! Where are you?" She shouted into the phone.

"I'm at my dorm. I'm okay. Thanks for calling but I can't talk about it right now."

"I understand, I'm on my way."

"What? You don't have to come here, and you don't have a car anyway."

"I'm driving Steve's. He owes me."

"I don't want to talk about it, please, just go home. Please." I begged.

"Okay we won't talk about it. But I'm not leaving you alone. I'll be there in just a bit."

"Carolyn!" was all I got out before she interrupted me.

"Jessie, two weeks ago I was ready to kill myself and if it hadn't been for you I would have probably tried. If you think I'm going to leave my best friend alone when she's hurting at least that bad, then you're fucking stupid. I'll be there in a bit."

"I'm not going to kill myself. I would never do that for a man. And you don't know where my dorm is. So please, you don't have to come."

"Jessie, shut up. You know full well I would be able to beat out of that asshole where your dorm is. I'm almost there. I'm not leaving you alone. I won't talk if you don't want, I won't say a thing, but I'm not leaving you alone. Do you understand? Wait, I don't care if you understand, I'm just not going to do it." And then she hung up.

True to her word, in just under a half hour or so she knocked at my door. As I opened it she swept in and hugged me, and I broke down and cried on her while she told me it would all be alright and I would get through this. No other girl, or person, had ever offered me this sort of solace, and I poured my pain out onto her, not through words, just through an unspoken understanding between girls who's hearts had been broken.

We stood there for I don't know how long until I broke the embrace. I was light headed from crying and needed to lay down again, so I walked back to my bed and lay on my side looking towards her.

"Give me your phone." Carolyn said as it vibrated again.

I handed it to her as it was more than I can deal with anyway.

"Okay, I know Allison and Ron, who else would you be willing for me to answer for you?"

"Uh"

"I'm going to be your operator while you get some sleep. I'm not going to talk to that shit head, or anyone else you don't want, but you need sleep, not a damn phone keeping you awake with well meaning people who are just rubbing salt right now."

"Okay." I surrendered. "Trisha, I told her I would call, and Sarah if she calls."

"Right, who is Trisha, is she on here?"

"Roomie. Yeah, should be in contacts."

She searched through my contacts until she found her and hit send.

"Hey, no, I'm her friend Carolyn. Yeah, she's fine. I'm going to stay with her. No, you don't have to come back, I got this. Yeah, okay, will do."

"She says she's sorry you're down and wants you to feel better and she'll be back next Sunday."

That reminded me that Fall break was beginning. Shit. I wasn't going to go home, so I figured I would just stay here for the week. No place else to go.

"Drink this." Carolyn demanded, handing me a sports drink.

"No, I'm not thirsty."

"Drink it, you need the potassium or you'll start cramping. You've cried too much. Now do as you're told." she smiled.

"You ever think about changing majors to nursing?" I asked as I opened the bottle and surprised myself by gulping it all down.

"No, I never really thought about it, shou...." Carolyn replied until I interrupted.

"Good, your bedside manner sucks." I grinned, then closed my eyes to try to rest.

"Humph. Cute. Look, I might be bossy, but I'm here if you need anything, and I'm going to take care of you."

"You really don't have to, I'm fine."

"Jessie, you've already told me that lie so shut the fuck up. You took me home and took care of me. If I could take you to my mom and dad's in Ohio I would, but I can't. So I'm staying here with you, as long as it takes. Now, I'm going to call your folks and let them know I'm here. Do you want them to come see you or not?"

"Oh, I'd love.... wait, no. They would bring him so we could talk. No. I don't... what should I do?" I asked, crying again.

"I'll take care of it." she said, then stepped into the common room. All my dorm neighbors had left for the week by this time, so she could talk there with some privacy, but she left the door open so I could hear.

"Hey, no, this is Carolyn, How are you? Yeah, I heard, I'm here with her now. Yeah, at her dorm. No, she's needs to rest, but I will have her call in the morning. I'm not going anywhere. No, she doesn't want to talk to him. No, I don't either and I'm not going to relay his messages. When she's ready he can man up and talk himself. Anything he had to say right now would just make things worse. Yes, you have my number? Or you can call on hers, I'm going to be answering her phone for her for a while, but just you and your husband, and someone named Sarah. Oh! That's her new sister! Okay, I didn't see her in Jessie's contacts. Brat. Found it. She's in contacts under 'The Brat.' Okay, could you do me a favor? Every one there has been calling her over and over, and I know you're all worried, but please stop for now, she needs to rest. And she doesn't want anyone to come up because you might bring him and she doesn't want to see him right now anymore than she wants to talk to him. So could you ask everyone to stop calling for the night, I'm here and Jessie's safe. We're going to turn her phone off until morning. I'm not leaving. What? Sure, put her on." There was a brief pause, then Carolyn continued. "Hey, I looked for your number, I didn't know it was saved under 'The Brat', Yeah, I'm going to take care of her, don't worry. I know, I'll tell her, and she loves you too. What? No, I can't approve of that. Okay, I'll tell her. I'm sure she feel more like talking tomorrow. Okay, good night."

"What did Brat say?" I asked, too curious to not know.

"Oh that she loves you and misses you."

"What else?"

"Nothing."

"Oh she said something you said you couldn't approve of."

"Um, that she was going to kick someone in the nuts?" Carolyn said, suppressing a laugh, "Then Ron started,well, scolding her and she said she loved you again."

"I've spent two weekends with her and she's so lonely she already loves me. And I love her too. Brat's awesome."

"Its late Jessie, you need to sleep now, I'm turning your phone off until morning. Okay if I sleep in your roomie's bed?"

"Um, I wouldn't. No telling what you might catch."

"Is she sick or something?"

"No, but some of the people she brings over and her do some pretty sick things." I grinned.

I figured Carolyn would either go ahead and risk sleeping in Trisha's bed, or grab the spare blankets and pillows and sleep on the couch in the commons like I had before, but instead, she changed into PJ's, grabbed the spare pillow, and said "Move over."

"Uh, okay, is there enough room? You can take my bed and I can go to the couch." I said.

"Just move over, I'm not leaving you and you aren't sleeping on the couch. We'll just have a slumber party."

"I've never had a slumber party before." I said.

"You never had a slumber party? Where did you grow up?"

"In an orphanage most of the time, or at my mother's drunk ass boy friend du jour." I said as I slid over and she crawled into bed behind me.

"I,,, I never realized," she said, as she spooned me and wrapped her arm over me hugging me tight. "that must have been horrible."

"Sometimes I would get so lonely I would just cry myself to sleep at night. It was like there were six billion people in the world, all of them ambivalent to my existence. I guess in a way my mother did her best, but she just sucked at being a parent and life in general. But she was still my mom, and after the state took me to the home and her to jail, I didn't have anyone. I land at the Andersons', and that was the first time I had my own room, or my own anything. I had more than 3 changes of cloths and no one was screaming or drunk or smoking dope or cooking meth. And I had a big brother who loved me and...." That was as far as I got explaining how I felt now, because once I got to two years prior I broke down again.

"Its gonna be alright. I'm right here" Carolyn said as she held me close and let me cry. She held me through the night and never left me as I visited the world of furtive sleep and nightmares.

When I woke, Carolyn was no longer beside me. I had slept until about 10, which was way later than I normally did between 8:30 classes, a couple miles run, breakfast and getting ready, 10 was a good 4 or 5 hours late for me. Still, I was exhausted, but for the first few moments as I woke I had left my troubles in my dreams, then it all came crashing back as my mind remembered the events of the day before.

"Hey sleepy head." Carolyn said, far too chipper in my opinion, but she was just trying to be cheerful.

"Hey. I thought you might have left."

"Nope, just taking a shower. There's no one here and plenty of hot water, you should too, then we'll run out for brunch. Okay?"

"You go ahead. I think I'm just going to go back to sleep now." I said, feeling that I wanted to be alone and didn't want to deal with the world, or be in it aside from my room at this point.

"You still don't get it do you? I'm not leaving you. If you don't want to have brunch, that's fine, we'll just stay here. But I'm not leaving you." Carolyn replied.

"That's really not necessary." I said. "I'm fine."

"No, you're nice and don't want to feel like you're imposing. Or you think that by being alone all your problems will somehow disappear because you cry so much. I don't care which because either way you're wrong. I'm not leaving until classes start back, so you better just give in and deal with the fact that you have to put up with me. Understand?"

I sat up and figured I would shower and do brunch and talk her into leaving then. "All right, I'll take a shower and we can have brunch or whatever, but then you should go. I'll be fine. Did you ever consider social work as a major?"

"No. I don't like people that much. But I love you, and I'm not leaving you. Ya know why? Because when I felt like you do now, you didn't leave me. Now go get cleaned up and get that mascara off your face. You look hideous!" She grinned.

A glance in the mirror revealed she was right. I did look like an extra on the set of the "Deathly Hallows." In the shower I was able to mediate, but my thoughts brought me nothing but hurt and heart ache. I couldn't think clearly anyway, thoughts over lapped and ran together, I wondered if this was what madness felt like. I had no focus and everything, no matter how small and insignificant reminded me of Brent. And Brent reminded me of him cheating with that whore.

Out of the shower I dried my hair and pulled back, did light make up, just base, powder, shadow and a touch of mascara. I didn't fool with blush or liner or any of the sub coatings and moisturizing goops I do when I really wish to look good. I didn't care about looking good, I just didn't want to scare people. It was beginning to get cool, so I wore a sweater and jeans, as well as a light jacket.