CHAPTER 1
Tanner Carlton stood outside a brothel waiting for his friend Ted Lobb who'd decided to take the fifty buck early afternoon special.
Tanner hadn't gone in, afraid it would just be his luck for his dick to drop off as a result of some unthinkable misadventure. Unless the need for sex felt desperate he avoided going near women he didn't know. He held the naïve belief that if he knew the woman everything would be fine. Besides he and Ted were homeward-bound so there was no desperate need.
Less than five minutes later Ted came out with his mouth bleeding. "The bitch hit me."
"Why?"
"I said I wanted someone else, that I preferred women with small tits. She kept my money without delivering any sort of service," Ted said, wiping his mouth.
"That's theft. I'll get your fifty bucks back."
"No don't," cried Ted but too late. His pal was already through the ornate double doors.
Ted heard some yells, thumps and crashes and a woman screamed.
Tanner emerged and said, "Run!"
They ran and Ted saw a bus station so yelled, "Over here."
The driver of the bus just about to leave eyed them impassively. "Either go and buy tickets and wait for the next bus or you pay me the ticket price plus 15% penalty."
"Will you take a check?"
"From trustworthy people yes. Put that checkbook away," the driver sighed.
"Here's a fifty bucks. Drive us until that runs out."
The driver pocketed the money and the door closed with a hiss. "Take your seats and behave."
The guys waited nervously for heavies from the brothel to bang on the closed door of the bus but no such threat to them eventuated.
"That was my fifty bucks," Ted moaned.
"The problem was when I got behind the counter I didn't know which one was your money so I took a bunch of bills."
Ted watched wide-eyed as Tanner counted $450 and divide it fairly.
"You stole this money."
"Well I wasn't waiting to calmly pick out the correct denomination. So if you feel guilty take yours back but I'm warning you they'll be hoping mad. I decked the two security guys plus the woman struggling to prevent me taking money. I yelled at her I wanted your money back."
"Does decked mean you hit them?"
"Yeah the two guys were stretched out and the women was on the floor howling her nose was broken. Christ she tried to scratch me."
"We ought to run for the border. The cops will be after us."
"Oh yeah? What do the brothel people say? Do they tell the sergeant a college kid beat up the three of them and ran with some money?"
"No they wouldn't do that. They would appear fools. Oh, I see what you mean. What do you think will happen?"
"They'll wipe the security tape and toss petty cash into the till and make up the difference and then hope the next shift or the one after gets the blame for stealing the petty cash."
"Christ pal, you should be running crime instead of wanting to run a business."
"Same difference pal although one tries to appear legit."
Late evening the driver yelled back at them, "Okay you two college guys this is the end of my run. You have to get out because the new driver will find you don't have tickets. I left you sleeping because we don't have many passengers, tonight being Tuesday."
"Well this bus is heading to the city where my grandma lives," said Ted. "I'll buy a ticket and continue on."
They hugged after Ted had brought his ticket, a bagel and coffee.
"This is the end of the line for us," said Tanner. "Almost a year after graduating at bumming round seeing our country for the first time. Let's keep in touch buddy and invite each other to our thirtieth birthday or wedding, whichever comes first."
"Here hold this stuff while I wipe my eyes Tanner. Christ we've had almost seven years together, intense and fulfilling years as buddies and now it's ending. Oh why can't the good life continue?"
"Well once I get to the top of a company I'll email for you to come aboard. You might have to start as janitor."
They laughed, the new driver called all aboard and as the bus rolled away Tanner saw the white face of his buddy gesticulating rudely at a window. Only then did Tanner realize he was holding Ted's coffee and bagel. He grinned thinking that really summed up their relationship. Tanner had almost single-handedly pulled Ted through college academically and apart from Ted getting his master's in computer science to reward Tanner for his effort he'd now gifted Tanner his late supper.
* * *
Aunt Carole said with a withering look, "Now let's get this straight. You have no money, no job or offer of a job and you want to live with us?"
"Yeah."
Tanner thought it was unlikely any woman could do the withering look better than his mom's younger sister.
"Excuse me young man?"
"Um, oh yeah that's the idea. I find a job, get rich and then pay back unpaid lodgings plus a bonus."
"You are family. No way will you pay me for a room. Say something Arthur?"
"Let the kid stay. He's the most interesting of all our relations, er apart from your sisters."
"Is he now? In what way?"
"He loves sport on TV, drinks beer... um and is er culturally sensitive."
"My word Arthur Baylis, saved by the bell. Bring you backpack through Tanner. Where are your other possessions?"
"I left all the kid's stuff back home and started off with the road trip with two pull bags on wheels but that became heavy going so Ted and I sold off our surplus stuff to raise cash which meant we cut out a few dishwashing or cleaning jobs and traveled lighter and faster."
"You can wipe that smile from your face Arthur Baylis. Tomorrow you take Tanner out and buy him a whole new wardrobe, including business attire."
"That will cost a small fortune."
"Well it's one of the penalties at being so over-eager to marry me."
"But that was almost thirty years ago."
"So? Do you have a problem about marrying me?"
Tanner said nervously, "Look guys I best go find a hedge to sleep under."
Arthur grinned and said, "Take no notice of her. You know what your mother is like. All those Broderick women possess the desire to rule."
Tanner liked hearing that and made his play. He pulled out his billfold and handed it out to his aunt. Here take this, it's all the money I have."
Carole pulled away as if she was being offered a condom. "No, definitely not. You use that money to help establish yourself and don't go spending it on drink and women."
"Women? Why would I need to spend money on women when your female friends are at my disposal, er their daughters?"
That made Carole smile thoughtfully. "Ah yes, there could be some interest. But get a job first. Come along. Now I want you to call your mom. She'd have no idea where you are or whether you are alive."
"It's Saturday night, not Sunday night. I always call her Sunday night. If I call now it will scare the crap out of her."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, sorry for my emphatic language."
"Emphatic, is that what you call it? Call your mom now or I'll twist your ear."
