My name is Sunita. This story begins when I was in the second year of college. I had settled into my life at college and I had a stable relationship that I was very proud of. At the end of high school, my heart was broken and I thought I would never find another stable relationship again. I thought I found someone special, but then I was ghosted by them and they made me feel so insecure. But now I had Rohit, and I was able to feel better about myself and my future.
There were a few things that annoyed me about Rohit, but I was able to put up with these. One source of frustration was that I felt he was afraid to be himself and insecure, but he also had a large ego sometimes. We had been dating just under a year and I knew he planned on going to law school after graduation.
In every way he was perfect. Our families went to the same temple in our home city and he was destined for a good career. These were important considerations for me, since I sought someone to appease my mother as much as to find love. He was never going to blow me away, but I was always pragmatic and sensible in life.
I always planned on going to med school after college and it was important for me to keep my grades up as well as to join extra curricular activities. I had been part of the debate team since high school and I applied to join. Rohit also applied to join as he felt it was a good extra for his application.
There was a selection process, but we both made it on to the team. I was happy we were doing this together and I liked that our relationship was growing. We met up every Wednesday evening and I enjoyed the group dynamic. We had a mix of different characters.
It was a few weeks in when Andre broke the news that he had been selected for the basketball team and he would be dropping out of the Debate Team. We were really annoyed that he had let the team down. In my head, I was thinking, Who would prioritise sports over academics? We needed a minimum of 8 members to compete.
"I know someone in my modern classics class. He recently transferred and he'll be ideal." Amy chimed in while the rest of us seemed despondent.
"That is a great idea," said Rohit. I never liked how he would be so quick to jump on any suggestion Amy had. Amy was Korean and looked bookwormy, but she was the type of girl that if she took off her glasses and let down her hair she would be drop dead gorgeous. She knew it, too.
We agreed for him to come to the next session and we would decide then. The group was slightly curious as to who this mystery person could be.
I knew Amy had Modern Classics every Monday and I deliberately snuck by her class to see who this mystery man could be. I was at the far end of the hallway when I saw her talking to a handsome man. He fit the typical description of tall, dark, and handsome but his back was to me. Amy had her hands all over him and she clearly had a crush on whoever this was or they were dating. He then turned slightly to the side and I saw his profile. I recognised him immediately and I quickly moved out of the line of sight as I was not ready to see him.
I was breathing erratically as I tried to regain my senses. In the final year of high school I fell madly in love with a boy.
I had never felt this before or after. He was my first and it felt like it was meant to be. We grew so close in that final year and over the summer stayed in touch but all of a sudden I heard nothing. He changed his number and I could not get a hold of him on any social media. It was like he had disappeared overnight.
I was heartbroken and I really struggled for a few months but I had to be strong and my mother helped me get over it. I blocked him on everything, and moved on with my life like he never existed but now he was back like nothing happened.
I was lucky to find Rohit when I did and my life was a lot more stable now. I did not need Azeem back in my life right now.
The next day I was thinking of my options. I could always leave the debate team but it would raise too many questions from Rohit and I was not going to let Azeem uproot my life again. I thought to myself if we had another candidate to join this will split the votes and I could easily get Azeem outvoted.
I had to pick a suitable candidate but I could not find one at such short notice.
On the day of the meeting I was so nervous and I had several times thought not to turn up but I could not let the group down. I had made a commitment to this group and I had to live my life.
We had all arrived and then Amy turned up with Azeem. They had an easy chemistry with each other with their arms brushing against each other and constant smiles. In that moment he just made me so angry. He would make her fall in love and then ghost her. I hated him so much for what he did to me.
They finally looked up at the group and his face went white when he saw me, like he had just seen a ghost. I really wanted to leave, but I held on to the table until my fingers went white. I was not going to let him hurt me again.
"Hey guys, this is Azeem. We do modern classics together. He transferred yesterday. He was on the debate team at his old college.They were state champions and I think we might be lucky to get him." Amy introduced him as we both just looked at each other, the others in the room becoming background noise.
Everyone in the room introduced themselves and then it turned to me. I was lost in my own thoughts when Rohit nudged me.
"Hi. I'm Sunita," I muttered, unable to come up with anything else as my thoughts were on a million other things and it took everything to not scream at him.
Everyone asked him questions about all number of things. They were impressed that he was part of the state winning team, and I thought to myself that I knew him better than anyone under this cool, charming mask.
"Should we see if there are any other candidates?" I asked. "We can put it to a vote now," Amy interjected quickly. She had been won over by his charms and there was no escaping that.
Everyone nodded in agreement to the idea of a vote and wanted to finalise it today. Amy asked for objections and I was the only to object. Even Rohit had been won over, but that wasn't a surprise. He always sided with the group, especially Amy.
Afterwards, we went to a bar for drinks to help Azeem into the group. I had a couple of shots and it was probably not the best idea in my emotional state. Azeem went over to the bar to get another round and I joined him away from the group.
"You are not cool. I don't care what they say. I will always hate you," I said, slightly drunk and stumbly as I punched his chest. "I didn't know. Amy said they needed me and I joined. I didn't mean to hurt you," he said with his sincere eyes and beautiful facial features.
"Fuck you, asshole," I said, a little too loudly and the group heard.
"You have every right to say that to me and you have every reason to hate me. I deserve it," he said, being all sincere.
"Seriously, man. Fuck you. I am so over you. Fuck you," I said as I became emotional and then I felt him hold my arm. In that moment, my emotions came back and I was taken back to how things were when I first fell in love with him. But, then I remembered where we were and I pushed his arm off.
The next thing I felt was Rohit next to me ushering me away. "I am sorry dude. She has had a little too much to drink." He said apologising to Azeem.
Rohit brought me back to my apartment and put me to sleep.
The next morning I awoke to a hundred questions from Rohit. I told him I couldn't remember what happened and that I was too drunk. He said Azeem was thinking of quitting and everyone was blaming me. I agreed to clear the air with Azeem before the next meeting.
Azeem was waiting for me after my Biology class. I did not want a repeat of the last time I ran into him. We found a quiet room to talk.
"I have never apologised to you for what I did. I never wanted to hurt you." He had a way of talking to you that made him sound so sincere, but I knew the truth.
"You are full of shit. I will hate you but I have moved on. I don't want you ruining what I have with Rohit. We'll just have to agree to stay out of each other's way and do the best for the group." I didn't wantto hear his excuses.
"I meant it. I hate what I did. I hate myself for hurting you. You know you are the only one..." he said, and for a moment I almost yearned to hear him say it again.
"Just stop this bullshit. Can we just agree to move on?" I said, cutting him off before he could say it.
He agreed and we settled our differences. We were 2 weeks away from the preliminary rounds and thoughts turned to how to prepare and who would lead.
Azeem was picked to lead as he was the strongest team member. Rohit would be second although he was disappointed not to be lead. He had been in the group longer and he resented that the group was backing Azeem. I wondered if he blamed me for his being held back, due to my initial behaviour with Azeem.
We met more regularly in the next two weeks to prepare for the preliminary round, and I began to put things in the past with Azeem. In a way I felt content with being friends, but that was because I buried the pain deep within.
We visited the college, staying over at the campus. It was a trip, and we were boisterous, enjoying this new experience.
At the event, Azeem had a strong start and we were on the rise. Everyone contributed something on the day, but the main debating was done by Azeem and Rohit. There was a moment where Rohit had a slip up where he confused his response and Azeem had to step in to save him. I could see the disappointment on Rohit's face and I knew he was hurt by the mistake.
We managed to win, and we all headed to the campus bar to celebrate. We were overjoyed, but Rohit was a little down. I tried to cheer him up, but he ignored me and went over to a couple of guys from our group that were playing a card game.
Amy and Azeem were together, as always, and a part of me resented the fact that he had moved on. In many ways, Amy was more attractive than me, and she was intelligent.
I had a few cocktails as Rohit continued to ignore me. I was about to walk over to him, but I was a little unsteady on my feet and Azeem was the one that got up and helped me steady my feet. I looked over at Rohit and he was still ignoring me.
"I am taking you to your room," I heard Azeem say. He then told Amy he would be taking me back to my dorm.
We were walking across campus to our rooms and I mumbled to myself, "I hate you. You know I hate you so much."
We were at my room and he was trying to go through my bag for my keys but I kept pulliny it away.
"Just tell me first. Why? Why did you do it?" I said in my drunken state.
"Why I did what?" he asked a little exasperated.
"Why did you break my heart?" I asked, feeling a sadness come over.
"Because I love you," he said with all sincerity as we were being drawn together.
"You are a liar. Liar. Liar. You don't love me. You never did. But...I did and I still do." I said as I leaned in. The chemistry between us ignited a fire, as our lips met like they had never parted, and our bodies came together. He had me against the door and I kissed him passionately. However I had had too much to drink and I was feeling sick.
