I don't know... people seem to have it in for me these days. First off, I come down the stairs this morning and there's a letter for me on the doormat from some anonymous person saying terrible things about me, really hurtful. I mean, what's that all about? Seems like I'd upset somebody just because of what I do. Well, you can't please everybody can you? But I tell you what, it did make me think. I mean, perhaps I was fucking up as many lives as I was helping. It's only ever been my intention to give the customers what they want -- satisfaction - cos after all said and done, the customer's always right, aren't they? But what if this gigolo lark did have consequences for some people? Did I really want to live with that weight on my shoulders? Seems like the older you get the softer you become... or maybe it's just part of growing up -- having scruples I mean.
I suppose everybody's got a conscience somewhere inside them. That's why I never like to go back on a job. I think once you've been there, done that, you should be on your way the hell out of there, because I tell you what, once you start getting to know people your perspective starts to change too. I mean, it don't do to get involved. Because once you start getting involved the old barriers go up. Things like emotions and concern get in the way of the job, or 'working relationship' should I say. Not that I'm against getting involved with anybody if the situation's right, it's just that it don't always do to mix business with pleasure.
What happened was; I'd had a text message the previous evening from Melanie which was completely out the blue. She wanted me to go round to her house today - not business or nothing like that - to collect something I'd left behind - so she said, anyway. Well that was a right mystery for a start because I was pretty sure I hadn't left anything behind when I was round there the other day. I'm always careful about leaving things in people's houses.
And that's when I saw the old brake lights come on and I thought, no, hold it Jason, there's something a bit fishy here. Tread careful. She just wants me back round there for a freebee or something. I tell you what though, I was tempted, especially today, because I didn't have a job on and I was at a loose end. I dunno, one minute there's dozens of rich women who want my services and next minute there's fuck all. It's a funny old world out there. But I don't let that sort of thing bother me. So although I was free for the day, I wanted to spend it driving down country roads in my old jam jar. That's all I felt like doing. I deserved a day off from shagging and what-not once in a while.
I texted Melanie to let her know I couldn't come over because I had an appointment, but that I'd let her know when I could come over and pick up whatever it was I was supposed to have left behind. Which was a bit of a lie, because I was wary about seeing her socially and wasn't sure whether I'd go back round at all, but I didn't to knock it completely on the head.
Now the funny thing was, I was feeling quite perky when I got up this morning, full of the joys of spring you might say. I was looking forward to my day off and going for a drive, having a drink and a pub lunch at the end of it. But I guess that letter from the 'Land of the Single Brain Cell' should have been a warning for me about how the day was going to go. And it's always the same with those kinds of people... in the best coward's tradition; they never leave a name or address. They just lob a few stones, break a few windows, run away and hide. I sometimes wonder what they're afraid of. Still, never mind. It takes all sorts.
When I went out the get in the Porsche, which I have to park outside, I could sense something wasn't right. It kind of looked all sorry for itself, like it was sulking. Usually, it looks all cocky, raring to go, like it's got a hard-on. When I got out to it I could see there was a fucking great score along the length of the nearside, right down to the primer, a white wiggly line in the bright red paint, front to back. I tell you, it felt like someone had just ripped my heart out, and it usually takes a lot to upset me. Not only that... when I looked down I could see I had a flat on the rear... and when I looked back at the front, that one'd been done as well. I somehow knew it would be a similar story on the offside. I walked round and saw that those had been spiked too, and to cap it all somebody had taken a kick at the driver's door. I tell you, that's the closest I've been to tears for ages. I mean what kind of pillock does that? I hate mindless vandalism, but this looked far more vindictive. I suppose they, whoever they were, think to themselves, well I can't afford one, so we'll kick the shit out of his because he can.
So that put a completely different slant on the day. I was pig sick. I went back inside and made myself a cuppa and phoned my mate Terry who works at the garage as a panel-beater. I told him all about it and he said he'd come over with the wreck truck and cart it off to hospital. That suited me because I just wanted to get out and away from this place for a while. I told Terry the keys would be under the wheel arch and to call me when my baby was all better. I knew then that I was going to have to move somewhere else pretty soon, a nicer area, somewhere where people were a bit more friendly.
So I had a cup of tea and then decided at the last minute to phone Melanie. Well, after the start to the day I'd had I figured I needed a bit of cheering up.
"Hello, Jason, what a surprise... I thought-"
"I've been let down," I said. "last minute cancellation, so I'm free. I could come over... you know, if you..."