chapter 1
I lay face down on the bed. I had the remote in one hand absent mindedly flipping through the channels on the TV set on the dresser sitting across from me as is typical in all hotel rooms. Although I tried to focus on what was playing, my head was slightly spinning from the two drinks I had at lunch and the beer I was currently drinking. Closing my eyes tightly, I tried to clear my head but the spinning sensation sunk deeper, vibrating seemingly into my soul.
I closed my eyes and my thoughts quickly slipped to him as they often did since I first met him. As my mind formed the image of his face behind my closed eyes I felt a spiral of tightness grow intensely inside my center. How just the thought of him brought on a physical reaction within me surprised me. Allowing myself to drift for the moment I replayed the last few days in my head.
The day I met j I hadn't expected any of this, I had a busy week planned with clients and three other dates planned. I had been separated for four months and was thoroughly enjoying my first delve into the dating world. It was so exciting and I was drunk off all the attention I was getting. That day it was early, a coffee date. I'd seen his photos on the dating app and thought he looked interesting and maybe a little different than the 25-year-old marines I had been dating till then. The boys who ate out of my hand like little puppies mesmerized by the successful older woman who didn't want a boyfriend. I texted j when I arrived and searched around to see if I could recognize him in the flurry of cars pulling in and out. When the strikingly handsome man walking towards me waved and said hello I felt that tightening feeling in my belly for the first time. He'd taken me by surprise and trying to keep my cool I smiled brightly and pulled him into a short hug to say hello.
As our conversation progressed there was something about his laidback persona that somehow didn't match the vibration of intensity of felt from his eyes. Normally the one to be asking all the questions I felt paralyzed, drawn like a moth to whatever lay right beneath his surface. I found myself resisting the urge to reach across the table and touch him, to see if I could pick up on some nonverbal energy passing between us.
When we left the café and drove to a nearby parking lot to smoke a cigarette I found myself growing warm and could hear my heart beating in my ears. Sitting across from him in the front seat of his pick up, I was so close to this man I could feel a tingling sensation between my legs. I tried to reason with myself, struggling to find that calm confidence that I'd always kept around men and I was interested in. His golden-brown hair had strands of light gold sprinkled through. Eyelashes dark against the varied shades of blue in his eyes. A prominent nose that lead to a strong chin that was gloriously covered in a thick beard. He looked like he walked straight out of a fantasy I wrote for myself. But it was something more than just his physical looks. It was like he gave off some invisible que to my body. As if I'd known him before or maybe as though I'd been waiting for him.
As we continued our conversation all I could think about was how his mouth would feel on mine. It took all my strength not to pull him in midsentence, to see if he tasted as good as he looked. I'd almost given up hope of a kiss as he leaned in to me. His hand placed firmly behind my neck I immediately melted into the kiss. The bristles of his mustache tickling my mouth, yet I could feel the control he had with how his tongue parted my lips and met my own. The spiral of tightness deepened in my belly as our tongues touched and danced against one another. I could feel his intensity pulse through my body straight down between my legs. Shifting slightly I could feel how wet I was, just from the kiss. After what felt like an eternity he pulled away and I felt myself panting and struggling to catch my breath.
I like to think of myself as a master of my sex, I've been highly in touch with my sexual wants and have experienced many of the pleasures it brings. But here I sat disheveled and panting in the front of a truck from just a kiss from a man I just met and barely knew. I closed my eyes to compose myself and steady myself. When I opened my eyes, and looked over at him I bit my lip and looked quickly away, I had to. The way my body responded to his, the way I could still taste him on my mouth, combined with the way the sunlight hit his eyes just so left me breathless. He had slight smile on his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes. The intensity behind his stare burning brighter still. We both had to go he reminded me and I quickly snapped back and laughed and said of course though all I wanted to do was stay right there and have him kiss me again.
Back at my office I felt like I was walking on air, I needed to see him again. I canceled my other dates for the week making excuses I don't even remember. The next days were a flurry of texts and dates with j. I found myself with growing a strong fondness for this complicated man. The way he spoke and the way he laughed. His story and recklessness that connected to a certain recklessness I've always had but never found anyone to indulge. He was a contradiction, both completely vulnerable and inaccessible at once. The two other times I saw him I'd feel that intake of breath that tightness in my belly grow. With every kiss, deeper than the next I'd find myself spending my nights with my vibrator pressed against my sex imagining his mouth on every inch of me. I was intoxicated by this man.
Now it was the day, I had asked him to join me for the day in the hotel finally. I'd run it through in my head a million times about how the night would go. What I'd ask him to do, what I would do. I've always known I enjoyed being the submissive and had enjoyed a light dominance from my ex. A knock to the door let me know he was here. He'd been at work all day and he walked in his hoodie pulled over his head and I could smell the manly scent of his sweat clinging to him. Somehow I found the scent more appealing than any cologne I'd smelled before. When I stood I felt my head swim slightly from the alcohol and the anticipation that had built from me letting myself sink into the thoughts of him. His eyes had deep shadows from his long week. I ran my fingers over his face, which felt familiar yet still took me by surprise and pulled him onto the bed to come and watch whatever was playing on the TV.
We had some small talk I cannot recall before he sank into a deep silent kiss with me pressed beneath him on the bed. Closer still, his scent, which I can only describe as pure desire filled my entire space. Our tongues danced deeply against each other. Twirling and twisting against one another. It was the deepest I had ever been kissed. His hands moved up to my neck pushing my head back and kissing me down my neck. My body trembling beneath his touch and head swimming from my panting breath. His placed his fingers into my mouth and I could taste the briny saltiness of him. I licked and sucked on his fingers as he let out a small gasp. His other hand moving up my shirt to free my breasts from my bra. With a swift movement his mouth was now near my exposed breast and nipples. As his tongue licked the underside of my breast and an agony want filling my body I wanted nothing more than for him to take my nipples into his mouth. Before I could say a word his warm mouth closed around my nipple. I felt the pressure building in my clit immediately. He moved from one to the other and I felt that might be enough to push me over the edge before he moved his mouth and began moving down between my legs.
He moved so I could look at him as he unbuttoned my jeans. I sat up slightly to pull off my shirt and bra. I reached down and helped him remove his shirt and hoodie. As he leaned in I could feel his huge erection through his pants pressed between my legs. A current of shock ran through my clit all the way to my head and I could feel my self begin to throb at the anticipation of him. He pulled down my pants but left my panties on. First he began by kissing the inside of my thighs, down to the joint that meets between my pussy and the inside of my thigh. I felt my entire body shake with pleasure. His mouth moved slowly, agonizing me with every lick and kiss. Then he moved to the top of my panties. Licking and sucking my clit with the fabric of my panties separating my sex from his mouth. He let his tongue slip under the fabric to taste me for the first time. I immediately responded with a shudder than ran the length of my body and almost helplessly pulled him up to my mouth to kiss him again. Tasting myself on this man drove me almost completely over the edge. Feeling his slightly hairy chest rub against my nipples and the throbbing bulge in his pants pressed against my drenched pussy might have been all it took to put me over the edge but before I could make sense of what was happening he was pulling down my panties and put his mouth completely on my exposed pussy.
His mouth was soft at first, lightly rolling his tongue over my clit gently, but as I rose by lifting my hips and pulling his hair to bring him even closer he began to suck and twirl his tongue around my clit. In what felt like it could have been centuries but was mere moments I found my body shaking with an intense wave of pleasure. It rippled and rose from my sex making me feel as I was ripped in two. I pulled him up to my mouth once again and if it was possible he kissed me even deeper than before. Sucking on my tongue and taking it deep into his mouth. After I caught my breath I rolled him over to his back and sat atop him kissing him and rubbing my breasts in his face.
