The Bitch And The Handyman

The bitch was texting me again and as usual, a feeling of dread enveloped me as I opened the messaging app. She was having trouble with the garage door opener in her car again. We've been divorced for almost four years and she still felt I was obligated to come to her aid when any of life's problems arose.

I sent her a text back, "We're divorced, remember?"

"Why do you have to be such a dick, you can do it in minutes, and it would take me a half hour to find the right u-tube video."

"Get one of your boy toys to do it."

"I keep telling you I haven't had another man in my life in almost four years."

This is what my life has devolved to. Usually, a couple of times a week, I would receive these "please help" messages and usually I would cave, depending on the ask. Something simple like this I would probably swing by on my way home from work and take care of it for her. Once she wanted me to paint what had been our master bedroom for her. Fuck you bitch.

Flash back five years ago and our youngest is heading off to college. Long before that she became a bitch but with the kids gone, she took it to a whole new level. I'll admit that my reactions sometimes were not consistent with what she said or did. I tried explaining to my son one time that it was like stubbing your toe on a piece of furniture, even a slight stub the next day was going to cause great pain.

After two months of nuclear warfare between the bitch and myself, I packed my shit while she was at work and headed to our vacation home. I worked from home, and it didn't matter where that home was. I didn't even tell her I was leaving. Two days later she called me.

"You fucking asshole, did you go to Florida without telling me?"

"We need a break from each other Jesse."

"You could have discussed it with me first Jack."

"We don't discuss Jesse, I say something, and you explain why I'm a fucking idiot for thinking or feeling something. You haven't agreed with me since you said yes to my proposal."

"Fuck you Jack, same old shit again."

"Exactly my point Jesse, same old shit again and again and nothing ever changes."

She hung up on me.

A month later, the kids were coming home from college for the holidays in a few weeks and I wanted to spend time with them. I sent Jesse a text telling her I would be home the week before Christmas. She told me I better find a hotel because I wasn't coming and going as I please. We were filing for divorce a week later.

Things were messy and we finally compromised on a lot of things, she got the family home, I got the vacation home. Instead of child support or other payments, I would continue to pay the kids college tuition. I would not have any faith that she could keep up her end. The hardest part of the divorce was not seeing my kids on Christmas.

I think the kids were home for a week when my daughter called me.

"Dad, can I come stay with you in Florida. Mom's new boyfriend is always here and he's always staring at me the wrong way, staring at my tits and ass. I'm uncomfortable leaving my room."

"Did you discuss this with your mother?"

"Yes, she said I'm making a big deal out of nothing."

"Ok, I'll call you back with the flight information."

"Dad, the brother wants to come down. There's something about mom's boyfriend that freaks him out too."

"Ok, I'll book you both flights and send you the details."

To my amazement, the bitch sent my daughter a text apologizing for not taking her seriously. The last day my daughter was home, she watched her boyfriend follow my daughter around the house, staring at her ass.

The bitch still let the guy stay there and the 'please help' messages began. I wasn't going to help her; she had a man there to take care of her needs. Plus, I was a thousand miles away. She eventually threw the guy out, but she replaced him with an equally inept guy, old enough to be her father according to my kids. She always had a long honey do list for my son when he came home from school.

The divorce was finalized that spring, about the same time my boss called and said I needed to come into the office the next day for a meeting to discuss an upcoming reorganization. I told him I was in Florida and could attend by zoom. He gave me the okay for that meeting and then explained that the new position he had me penciled in for wouldn't allow full time work from home. My only other option was being considered redundant.

After hanging up, I screamed Fuck until I was out of breath.

Almost nine months after leaving my home, and two months after my call with boss, I was moving into a small condo in the same town my ex-wife was living in. The big advantage was that it made it easier to see my kids when they came home, and it was a short commute to work. It was hard getting used to actually having to get dressed and go to work almost every day.

But now there was no longer a thousand miles between the bitch and I, so the 'please help' messages escalated.

Sometimes it was just easier to help her, especially if it was easy. Fixing the garage door opener was quicker than having another fight, although I always enjoyed telling her no.

About a year ago or three years after my great escape, she called me because there was smoke coming out of the ceiling fan in the bedroom. I told her to turn it off and hung up. She called me right back.

"Of course I turned it off, I'm not a fucking idiot Jack, can you replace it.?

She knew I could. I probably installed that one twenty years ago at least.

"Was it making any noise before it started smoking?"

"Yes, and it wobbled."

The following weekend, I'm on a ladder removing the old ceiling fan and I ask the bitch to hand me a screwdriver.

"You can say please Jack."

"Fine Jesse, I'll say 'please hand me a screwdriver.' But I want you to know that means, hand me a screwdriver you fucking bitch."

I started to leave, she was screaming about the mess I was leaving, there were exposed wires hanging from the ceiling, tools were everywhere, and the ladder was still in the middle of her bedroom. She was screaming through voice mails and text messages all week, complaining that she had to sleep in our daughter's room. I refused to respond.

By the next weekend, she was apologizing for the 'please' bullshit and realized since I was doing her a favor by installing the ceiling fan, I shouldn't have to say please when requesting a screwdriver.

I need to point out that Jesse hasn't apologized to me in maybe twenty years. But I still wasn't going to install the fucking ceiling fan. Twice a day she would ask the same question and reminding me she apologized. I kept saying no.

"What's it going to take Jack, to finish the job. Do you want me to get on my knees and beg. I can't afford to have an electrician come in and do it."

As I said, sometimes my reactions to Jesse were not consistent with what she said or did and in a fit of anger I said, "Well, if you're so willing to get on your knees and beg, you can suck my dick while you're down there."

I did not I really expect her to suck my dick. When I was in Florida, there were a lot of single women willing to suck my dick and my sex life was the best it had been since the kids were born. But I had been in a drought since I came back. There was a long delay before Jesse responded and I began to like the idea of some head."

"Your fucking kidding me Jack, you expect me to suck you off, so you'll install the ceiling fan. I already told you I was sorry. What kind of woman do you think I am?"

"Not only do I want you to suck me off, I want you to swallow too. As far as what kind of woman you are, let me ask the boytoy you had moved in before my side of the bed got cold."

"It wasn't that soon Jack."

"I still have the video from the doorbell cam. He had some nice luggage."

There was 24 hours of silence before she said, "Fine, install the ceiling fan and I'll suck you off. I can't spend another night in our daughter's bed. It's too small."

"To be clear, I'll install the ceiling fan after you suck me off. And I recommend wearing something sexy to speed things up."

"You are a fucking asshole."

"And you're a fucking bitch Jesse. Do you want to keep calling each other names or do you want to move this business relationship forward?"

It was Friday before she agreed, and I would be over around noon the next day.

It was my expectation that Jesse would try and find a way out of sucking my dick. I think I married her because she seemed to like giving head and always swallowed. Maybe about ten years into our marriage, she decided she was no longer going to swallow, and I didn't want her to suck me off if she didn't. That was the end of blowjobs in my house. I don't know what she was doing with her boytoys.

Saturday morning, Jesse greeted me at the door wearing a short robe over very sexy teddy. She dropped the robe as soon as I came in and asked me where I wanted to do this and suggested the love seat in the living room. I went to undo my pants before I sat down, but Jesse had already dropped to her knees and began undoing my belt. Once my trousers and underwear were around my ankles, my cock was in her mouth. I never had a chance to sit down. Back in the old days I would guide her head back and forth on my cock. Jesse was sucking with the same enthusiasm she had before we were married. It didn't take long for me to come, and she sucked every drop out of me.

"I've forgotten how much I liked that," Jesse said.

"You didn't do that for your boy toys?"

"Those fucking losers, no fucking way. Jack, do you remember how hot it made when I sucked you off, would you return the favor?"

There was a voice in the back of my head screaming to tell her no, but then she slipped off the tiny g-string she was wearing, sat in the love seat and tossed her legs over arms of the chair exposing her very wet pussy. Like a fool, I dropped to my knees and in a few minutes, Jesse was bucking and screaming, holding my face tight against her pussy. Finally, she pushed me off and I wiped my face on my shirt.

"That was fantastic Jack, I've also forgotten the fireworks you can create. Remember how I would always lick my juices off your face?"

I had no idea how to respond so I said, "We should get to work Jesse."

Maybe she was disappointed, but she stood up and said, "Let me fix you a cup of coffee while you get started."

Jesse handed me a cup a coffee and we got started on the ceiling fan again. She had slipped the g-string back on but stayed in the teddy. In the months or years leading up to our divorce, Jesse had begun to let herself go. I noticed she had really slimmed down since then. She caught me checking her out several times while we worked.

"You started running again Jesse?"

"Yes, thank you for noticing, I was really dumb for stopping in the first place. It was such a hurdle to get started again. Doesn't look like you ever stopped."

"Having to actually go into the office almost every day makes it more difficult, but they do have a nice gym."

We actually had a pleasant conversation while we worked. The job would have been completed quicker if Jesse's nipples weren't poking through her teddy. No matter the woman, that scene of nipples poking through a piece of clothing always made me hard and Jesse knew that.

I was getting ready to leave when Jesse said, "This handyman needs a tip."

She pushed me back on the armchair, pulled out my cock, gave it a few licks and then climbed on. Somewhere she had lost the g-string again. I watched my cock slowly disappear inside her pussy. She was coming before she bottomed out.

"Fuck Jack, I'm coming already."

She was slowly bouncing up and down on my cock and came again.

"God, it's been so long since I've came this hard, what are you doing to me Jack."

In my mind I wasn't doing anything but sitting in a chair while she rode my cock and orgasmed every few minutes. She began increasing her pace and her orgasms were causing her to collapse on my chest.

"Remind me next time Jack, to get this shirt off you."

She went back to jack hammering up and down on my cock and I started torturing her tits.

"The big one is coming Jack, please come with me."

She really didn't have to ask because her orgasm pushed me over the edge. We laid there in an awkward silence for a few minutes and then Jesse bent over a licked my cock clean. It had to be a decade since she did that.

It was even more awkward when it was really time for me to leave. Jesse had put on regular panties to collect my come leaking out of her pussy. Her nipples were still at attention, and I had the desire to suck on them.

At the door, Jesse leaned up to give me a kiss on the cheek, dragging those nips up my arm.

On Tuesday, she sent me a text, "What's it going to cost me to get the master bedroom painted?"

"That's a two day job, I want you ass on one of those days, a regular fuck on the other and dinner on Saturday night. And wear something sexy on each day."

"Fine, only gym shorts for you and no shirt."

We had gone out paint shopping during the week, it felt weird doing such a married couple thing with her. We actually ran into some old friends while we were out.

Saturday morning, I arrived in and old pair of gym shorts, but wearing a shirt, Jesse let me in wearing a thin sheer vest tied at the top, a half cup bra and some skimpy panties.

"I said no shirt Jack." She undid my shirt and started licking and kissing my chest, while her hands pulled my cock out of my gym shorts. I slid my hand into the back of her panties and felt the butt plug in her ass. I began playing with it.

"Is that the old one Jesse?"

"No, I couldn't find it, so I bought a new one and some lube at that little sex shop downtown. Please take me now Jack."

"What else did you buy Jesse?"

I continued sliding the butt plug in and out and she came, holding into my shoulders to stay up right.

"I bought a dildo and a vibrator. Please Jack, throw me over the arm of the couch and fuck my ass. This whole idea of trading sexual favors to pay my handyman has made me so horny, so slutty."

Jesse came again, "Please Jack, you've already made me come twice and you haven't fucked me yet."

"Okay, go bend over the couch and let me fuck that slut ass.

Jesse scurried over the arm of the couch, dropping her panties on the way."

I gave her a smack on her ass, making sure I caught the butt plug, "Who else has fucked this slut's ass?"

"Only you Jack, and I made sure it was really clean for my handyman."

Pulling the butt plug out left her ass gaping; after pouring some lube in her hole

and on my cock, I shoved it in her ass with no warning.

"Oh, my fucking god," yelled Jesse followed by a guttural moan. "I'm coming Jack, like I've never come before. Jesus fuck." She continued to moan and curse as I hammered in and out of her."

It had been so long since she gave up her ass, I couldn't remember if there was something she liked, What I wanted was to leave a lot of handprints on her ass. I gave a cheek a good slap and she shuddered again.

"Did the slut like that?"

"The slut liked that very much sir. May I have another?"

She moaned on the next one too, and the third and fourth. Jesse was in one long moan while she shuddered. She was essentially a rag doll as I fucked her. My orgasm came up on me fast and I didn't have any time to warn her. I just shoved my cock in as far as I could and shot my load into her.

This calling her a slut thing was completely new, maybe I was reluctant to call my wife a slut. I certainly wasn't reluctant to call her a bitch.

I got up and sat on the couch. Jesse got up a few minutes later and disappeared down the hallway. She came back wearing everyday panties and a carrying a damp washcloth. She knelt down in front of me and washed my cock, giving a little kiss on the head when she was done.

"The clock's ticking handyman and you have a lot of work to do."

We had a late start but finished what I hoped for on that day. It would be days before the paint fumes would die down enough to sleep in there. I jumped in the shower while Jesse ordered some pizza, I wondered if she would answer the door in that outfit, but she donned her robe. The robe was off when we sat down to eat. Jesse had also opened a bottle of wine.

We were almost done eating and I said, "I really like the outfit Jesse, you look amazing in it."

"Thank you Jack, I was hoping you would like it. The pizza delivery guy liked it. Do you like the way my nipples are poking through? Or would you rather I removed the vest and displayed my titties?"

Jesse untied the vest, her tits looked good in the half cup bra.

"Look how high my tits are, almost like I was 18 again. I felt like such a slut for that delivery guy, my pussy was so wet."

She began licking her fingers and rubbing her nipples. I grabbed her hand, pulled her over my knee and started smacking her ass. After the first few smacks, I pulled down the skimpy panties she was wearing.

"Sluts that flash delivery boys deserve a good ass beating, especially when it makes them all wet," I said.

Jesse was dripping down her leg she was so wet. I shoved my thumb into her pussy, and she came hard, yelling ''oh fuck." Pressing my fingers against her clit while fucking her with my thumb made her come again. I lifted her up, carried her into the living room and bent her over the couch. After a few more slaps on her ass, I shoved my cock into her cunt as hard as I could and continued pounding her pussy. Jesse was speaking in tongues and every time I pulled back, she squirted all over me.

It didn't take me too long to come and Jesse was a rag doll by the time I did. I went back into the kitchen and finished my pizza. Jesse came back into the kitchen a few minutes later and put her panties back on. She grimaced as she sat down.

"You're a fucking machine Jack."

"You inspire me Jesse."

"I'm going to have to order pizza delivered more often."

Jesse slept in our daughter's room. and I slept on the couch. I woke up in the morning with Jesse sucking my cock.

"I'm so sorry handyman; your slut didn't clean your cock last night after giving me a royal fucking."

After I came, she stood up and showed me her outfit for that day. It was essentially a t-shirt, skintight and almost transparent. Her nipples were clearly visible, and it didn't cover the crotch of her panties.

"Do you like Mr. Handyman?"

"Yes I do Jesse."

After coffee and breakfast, we went back to painting. We were done in record time, which was amazing because it was hard to focus on painting with Jesse walking around in that outfit.

We were cleaning up when she said, "I hope these paint fumes die down soon so my handyman can fuck me I my bed."

"I will never fuck you in that bed Jesse."

She frowned, "I guess I'll have to get a new bed then."

"Jack," she said, "I'm sorry, but you can't fuck me again tonight. Both my holes are sore from last night and it still hurts to sit down. I'll make it up to you, I promise you a rain check."

It was a technicality that she wasn't holding up her end of the bargain, since she promised me her ass and cunt, which I took on Saturday.

Wednesday evening, Jesse was knocking on my door. "Are you alone Jack," she said as she came in.

"Yes Jesse, I am. Why do you ask?"

"We never really discussed others, but I did tell you there won't be any other men in my life. I wanted to make up for last Sunday, but I wanted to make sure you were alone before I revealed my new outfit."

Jesse dropped the jacket she was wearing to reveal a leather corset, with a half cup bra and a very short leather skirt, so short you could tell her pussy was freshly shaved.

"Was your coat closed while you drove over here slut or were you flashing your nipples to everyone."