This is the 3
rd
and final chapter of this story. You will need to read the previous two chapters for it to make sense.
Also, I wrote this last year (2018) prior to Notre Dame burning. I was sorry to see that happen. I hope they are able to restore that beautiful building as soon as possible.
*****
Chapter 3
The girls decided they wanted to see Paris for the first week. I had actually discouraged this. Not because it isn't a great city, but it really is best to see Paris for the first time with someone with whom you are in love. I actually suggested going to Amsterdam so we can smoke some weed, even though I had never smoked a joint in my life. They didn't think this was a good idea, but I thought it might be better than actually spending a week in Paris, with Janet, remembering our previously great times there together.
We flew Air France premium economy to into CDG Paris. It was great because the flight was less than two hours. All the previous times I had been to Paris I was dead tired from the overnight flight, including my visit here with Janet, pre-kids. We were on the side of the plane, by the window, and in that section, there are only 2 seats between the aisle and the window. So we needed two rows. Janet and Rachel were several rows in front of me and Meredith.
Once we got settled in and took off, she picked up my hand, "Thank you for doing this Daddy. I know you didn't want too."
"Baby, I really wanted to come to Europe with you and Rachel, but I didn't know how I was going to handle being with your mother. These next two weeks could be really hard. But if you guys could stand for 6 hours a day in the rain for me, then I should be able to do this."
"I know you don't believe it dad, but Rachel and I have seen her change. She really is trying to be better."
"I believe you sweetie. I do. I may even believe her. It's just that all those years of hurt and pain, and then she shows up one day and says, 'oops. My bad. I'm better now.' It may be too little, too late."
With quite a bit of bitterness she said, "So, does that mean you are going to go back and see that bar maid?"
"Don't be like that. You know that Maggie owns that pub. That's why Neil and I were so concerned. As far as any future she and I may have together? Well...that's still to be determined. I'll tell you this. There is 'something' there between us. I enjoy her company and she enjoys mine. The only thing your mother and I have in common are the two of you.
"And guess what? Surprisingly, the two of you may be enough. But for your entire life how often have you seen your mother and I happy together, with each other? Truly happy?"
She was silent at that. I was managing to keep my voice low, but that's because I really didn't want to fight with Meredith.
"That's right. It's kind of hard to name those times, isn't it? Well, that's because there weren't many.
"I know these two weeks aren't about reconciling the two of us, nor do I want it to be. But you should ask your mother that exact question sometime, soon. Ask her, 'since you two were born, how often can she remember me and her being truly happy with each other?' See what she says. That should tell you something about how hard this is for me.
That was enough of this, I was going to try to lighten the tone, "Anyway, I've told you before. I would do anything for the two of you, and I love the idea of us strolling through these great cities with you."
That cheered her up a bit. The rest of the flight we looked at the travel books we had downloaded on the iPad. We already knew what we wanted to do, but we enjoyed talking about the things we were looking forward to seeing.
They did a great job with the itinerary. We had a nice van carry us, and only us, to the flat we rented in the 7th arrondissement. We had a very nice four-bedroom place with washer and dryer and a great kitchen and living area. There was even a small balcony with a table and two chairs, that looked out over the Seine and had a fairly close view of the Eiffel tower. At the time they were making reservations, I told Meredith that whatever they did, not to plan on their mother and me sharing the same bedroom or bed, or I was leaving. They knew I was serious.
This would be the hardest part of these two weeks for me. When Janet and I came here before for a full week, we were still in the honeymoon phase of our marriage. We had only been married about a year. We had such a great time. We didn't even get to see all the sites because we spent a lot of time in our room making love, back when Janet did more than just lie there.
These weren't just memories but some of the only memories I have of me and Janet together back when we were happy. I wasn't sure what kind of impact it would have on me to revisit some of the places we had visited all those years ago when we were in love. Not good, I expected.
The girls picked out a nice restaurant a couple of blocks from the Trocadéro and we strolled there. We had a nice dinner and actually were enjoying ourselves. We walked from there up to the Arc de Triomphe and then turned to stroll down the Champs-Élysées - Rachel on my arm and Meredith on Janet's.
After the stroll it was late enough, being summer time, that we hired a chauffeur-driven, big-assed Mercedes S-class for a night tour of Paris to see the lights. It is a beautiful city during the daytime, but amazing when lit up at night. I rode in the back in the middle and let my daughters sit beside me so they could each see out a window. Janet was in the trunk. Ooops, did I say that. I meant she was in the passenger seat. I wanted to be in the middle, because I didn't really want to see all the sites that I remembered so fondly.
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Wednesday
The next morning, I got up early to run. The company from which we rented the flat had stocked us with basics like milk, cream, coffee, jam, eggs, etc. but I knew the girls would appreciate fresh croissants and other baked goodies for breakfast. So at 5:30am, I snuck out and found a local boulangerie around the corner that was baking and preparing to open. I knocked on the door and pleaded for him to open up a few minutes early. I thanked him profusely and selected the items I knew everyone would like, plus a few extra items, just in case. I even found Janet's favorite, Chausson aux pommes, which are basically puffy apple turnovers. She had them every morning the last time she and I were here. I again thanked him, and did my best to tell him in my broken French, demain matin, aussi - tomorrow morning, also.
I returned as quietly as I could and left the baked goods on the table. I set the coffee pot to turn on, and then I left for my run. I ran along the Seine for an hour, wanting to burn up some of the energy that might convert to anger, and returned to the apartment, tired, around 7am. As I got in, no one was awake yet. I started the coffee and went to take my shower. As I opened the bathroom door to come out, I could smell the aroma of the delicious coffee that was calling to me. You could also smell the baked items I had picked up.
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who smelled it, because I bumped into Janet who was coming out of her bedroom. I only had on a pair of shorts, and she had on her PJs under her robe, which was her normal morning attire. I could see her appraising me as I turned towards my room to grab a t-shirt.
She was looking through the baked items. I asked her if she would like some coffee, and she nodded. I prepared it with cream and sugar, how I remembered her liking it, no longer sure if I was doing it correctly or not - wondering if I ever did it correctly or not. I would have to be careful, because even little thoughts like that were quick to provoke my anger.
She was sitting out on the balcony next to a little tea or coffee table. I set the cup next to her, and she thanked me. I prepared my own cup and sat down in the other chair on the balcony to read on my iPad. She sat there sipping her cup watching me.
