It was late, and the house was quiet. My husband had gone to work about an hour previously. My children, son 10 and daughter 2, were snug in their beds. The housework was taken care of, the dishes washed, and there were no chores left to be accomplished. The only thing I had to keep me company was my thoughts. Those thoughts, turning around and around inside my brain, were little comfort on such a beautiful, moonlit summer night.
It was his face that was tormenting me. David was older than me, but still very handsome; sparkling blue eyes, strawberry-blond hair, and gentle smile. He was tall, thin but muscular, and always impeccably dressed. He had no idea how sexy he was, which only added to his "little boy" charm. I loved him with everything I had in my body, and no matter how wrong it was, I couldn't stop. It didn't matter that we were married to other people, or that we were co-workers, or that he was old fifteen years older than me. All that mattered was that I wanted him, and that he wanted me.
I looked down at myself, and the old insecurities resurfaced. After 13 years of marriage, I had stopped worrying about how sexy I looked for my husband. Now, on the threshold of a new relationship, I had to pause and wonder. I was no babe in the woods myself: I was thirty-four, and had given birth to two children. I had the same cosmetic problems that afflict most average women. My breasts were large, but now sagged slightly. My stomach had a few faint stretch marks from pregnancy, and now my hips had a curvy appearance. I knew that I still had good features, my petite body, my blue eyes, long, wavy brown hair, and full pink lips. Still, I wondered what he would think if he ever saw me without my clothes on.
I questioned what I was doing, sitting on my back porch, watching the moths swarm around the light. I was dressed in a long, pink cotton nightgown with only thin straps holding it on. I hoped that none of the neighbors would be awake and looking out their windows at this late hour. The night felt perfect, the moon was close to full and rising over the rooftops. I wanted to hold him so badly my whole body ached.
I was startled by a noise in the alley. A tall figure was standing at my back gate. I stood up, ready to run into the house, when I realized it was him! All my daydreaming had brought him to me.
I crossed the yard quickly, barely noticing the wetness of the grass on my bare feet. My hands were shaking as I opened the gate and pulled him through it. "What are you doing here?" I asked in a loud whisper.
"I couldn't sleep. " He whispered back, putting his large, soft hands on my bare shoulders. " I couldn't get you out of my head. So, I went for a drive and wound up here. I saw your husband's car gone, and I just wanted to see if I could see any lights on in the house. Instead, I found you."
I led David by the hand into the house; afraid the neighbors would see him. My heart was singing joyfully because he had cared enough to come. I shut the door behind him and turned on the light. He looked down at me and gasped, and I realized that my thin nightgown was leaving nothing to the imagination.
"I don't know what I'm doing here," he said, blushing but not looking away. I could tell he was extremely nervous because he was talking rapidly. "Please don't think I'm some sort of stalker, or maybe I am, I don't know, but I just couldn't stop thinking about you, and I had to be near you, oh God, I know it's wrong, but I just couldn't help it. . ."
I put my finger over his lips and hushed him. "Sweet baby, it's alright. I'm happy you're here."
Tears came to his eyes as he kissed my fingertip, then the back of my hand. "I want you to believe me that I have never done this before. I have been married for 20 years, and I have been faithful."
