It was a draw on who was more shocked at Emily-Jane's comment: Barbara, Emmie, or Luke. Luke wasn't sure if he should leave the two women to fight it out or if he should be there just in case he had to pull Emmie off of her sister. Barbara was the smaller of the two and Luke already knew that Emmie had the tendency to fight dirty. He didn't want to have to continue their relationship in jail, but if looks could kill Blaine would be looking for a new fiancΓ© soon.
"You've been putting up with my shit? Emmie, I've been taking care of you since you were old enough to walk. Even before that, in fact, so don't tell me that you can't help me with this wedding. I helped you with yours," Barbara said, her voice tight with anger.
"And I've been meaning to ask for a refund on that one, 'cause we see how that one worked out for me. I love you, sister, but you are a major bitch and I don't want to help you anymore. You have done nothing but make the lives of the people around you miserable since Blaine asked you to marry him. We know this is a special day for you, and we understand that, but listen, heifer. You have one more time to piss me off and I'm cutting your ass off from me. I WILL NOT have you telling me one more time what I have to do and not do. As Daddy says, I am 3 times 7 and I have been known to think for myself once in a while," Emmie said, pushing her face into her sister's.
"Yes, we all know that when it comes to making decisions, you are a great thinker," Barbara said sarcastically.
Luke couldn't contain the wince as Barbara made a major mistake in the art of warfare. He could see flames shooting from Emmie's ears just like in the old cartoons. Barbara had really fucked up that one. And Emmie didn't give take much time coming back at her.
"I'm a fuck up?"
"I never said that you were a 'fuck up' as you so crudely put it. You just aren't a deep thinker," Barbara said, shrugging.
Luke covered his face with his hand as Emmie screeched at her sister. "Not only are you saying I'm a fuck up, but you also just called me a bimbo. That's it. You can definitely find someone else to help you. I've had it. I hate to tell you, Barbara, but I almost feel sorry for Blaine. When he marries you, he'll be getting the short end of the stick here. You are a total, class-A bitch, who wouldn't know the meaning of being nice if it walked up and bit you on the ass. And you know what? I don't blame your ex for leaving you. He shouldn't have fucked around on you while you were still married, but I can't say that I blame him for going out to find something more comforting than you. I bet it was like snuggling up to an iceberg when you were together."
Luke tried to intervene, saying, "Ladies, please lets-"
He was interrupted with a loud "Keep out of this," from both of them. He held his hands up in a peace motion and stepped back. He wasn't sure if he should call Blaine but before he could grab the phone, the pair started again.
"Oh, well, at least I didn't drive my husband mentally insane just 'cause I couldn't live with him," Barbara said, snidely.
"No, you just drove yours to find an 18 year old cheerleader to fuck everyday for the rest of his life. How does it feel to know that your kids have a step-mother who isn't old enough to drink yet and is only older than you're oldest child by 5 months?"
"You are so mean," Barbara said, tears beginning to fill her eyes. "Why would you say those things to me just a few days before my wedding day, the most important day of my life? You are just jealous that I have someone and you don't. Sure, he's here," she said, pointing to Luke, "but he is only here to screw you. Once he figures out that you are a major whore, he'll drop you like a load of bricks."
Before Luke could break in, Emmie asked, "I'm a whore? I'm not the one who fucked everyone on the varsity football team in high school. I'm also not the one who didn't know who my baby's daddy was, was I? How many guys did you have to test again?"
"It was only 2 guys, thank you and you know very well that it was only 2 guys. I can believe you would even say something like that. You know that I don't like to be reminded of what I was like in the past," Barbara sniffed.
"You know what, Barbie? I didn't see anything wrong with you in the past. I mean, yeah, you were a little fast but I liked you better. You were more approachable. Now, I gotta say, if I don't have to talk to you, I'm better off. I used to look up to you, you are my big sister and no matter how much you piss me off, I still love you. I just don't like you very much right now and I think you should get the hell out of here before I decide that I would like to see my fist in your face more than I would the kids,"
Luke stepped and pulled Emmie back into his arms. "Ok, there, slugger. I think you both need to calm down before you say something you both are going to regret. You need to just calm down, Emmie. Barbara, I think it would perhaps be better if you went ahead and made any arrangements you might need today by yourself. Just give her a little while and maybe you both will be fine."
The two women looked at him, and for a second, he thought that they were going to turn on him like a pack of wild dogs. He had stared a suicide bomber in the face once and hadn't sweated as much as he did in those few minutes. He knew there would be hell to pay from Emmie for speaking for her but she didn't say anything, simply turned back to her sister and said, "Yes, perhaps it would be best for everyone involved if you went ahead and dealt with the florists today. The appointment is at 10:30 and Evelyn, the florist, is a lovely woman. She has all the arrangements that you decided on months ago. I have been emailing with her and she understands the importance of good flowers, so please don't piss her off by practicing the rich bitch routine that you have perfected. She's good at her job, one of the best in Jamaica and I don't really want to have to track another florist down at this late date."
Barbara's lips tightened and Luke had already learned that it wasn't a good sign. "I do not have an attitude with everyone I meet, Emily-Jane. I do happen to have manners, unlike some people who go around cursing like a sailor and high-five random people as if I were a 12 year old boy."