All characters are 18 or older.
Don't know if i am going to do more chapters. If you think it needs more, please let me know. As always, rate, favorite, leave a comment, or send me a message.
So, how did I end up here? I would wonder often. I was your normal single mother who worked hard to accomplish everything in life. I wanted to raise my son by example, work hard, do the right thing, and everything would work out. Now, here I am, forty-two years old, with my mental health in turmoil. I am confused and don't know how I ended up here.
My name is Marybeth. Last year, I became an empty nester because my son, James, decided to join the military instead of going to college. James was born right after my twenty-third birthday. His father was barely involved in his life, so I had the full responsibility of raising him. Even though I had chosen the wrong man to have a child with, I had no regrets. After James was born, I worked my ass off to get a degree. Then, I worked to establish myself as a professional. I focused on my career and being the best parent possible. For eighteen years, I put my life on the back burner. I had not dated a lot. I was home most evenings, including the weekends. When I watched my son graduate high school and make his first adult decision to join the military, I couldn't have been prouder of the man I raised.
On James' last day before leaving for boot camp, I had family and friends over to say goodbye to him. I watched people get teary eyed over how much they were going to miss my son. I had to hold my shit together because my son was worried about leaving his mom all alone. This was going to be the first time since James was born that I would be without him. It was also going to be the first time I would live alone. I watched James and his best friend, Billy, interact all day. Billy and James have been inseparable since we moved to this neighborhood ten years ago. At his core, Billy is a good kid. His family has their struggles and aren't always the best people to be around.
Ten years ago, I had saved enough money for a down payment on a home. I bought a decent sized condo that I raised James in. Billy's family owned the condo below us. His father has always been in and out of the household. Billy's mother, Jane, would have what I liked to call "visitors" when Billy's father wasn't home. Because of their closeness, Billy would spend more time in our home than his own. Billy was going to be attending a trade school. Then he had an apprenticeship waiting for him to become an electrician. Sometimes, it was like raising two children. I was going to miss our pizza movie nights.
As the night wound down, James and Billy helped me straighten out the condo. The realization that this would be the last time I had the two of them helping me do anything caused me to get emotional. I couldn't hide it anymore, and I started crying. I saw Billy tap James and motion in my direction to alert him that something was wrong. James immediately came to me. "Mom, it's OK. You are going to be OK. I will call you every minute I can, I promise. Plus, I made Billy promise to check in on you and help you with everything I used to do. Please don't cry."
Then Billy chimed in, "I got you MB. I'm not giving up on pizza movie night. We can keep the tradition going until Jimmy comes home. I promise."
The two of them would do this when I got down on myself. It usually helped, but I knew this would be the last time they would be able to do this for the next four years. "I love you two. I'm sorry. I didn't want your last night home to be a downer. Billy, you better keep the tradition going. But it is still my turn to pick a movie on Friday. So, don't try to con me out of my turn." James and Billy laughed at my comment, which caused me to laugh. They would always try to con me out of picking a movie. They hated the girly movies I would make them watch.
The following morning, Billy and I drove James to the airport. I held my shit together while James was saying his goodbyes to Billy and me. Before he walked away, he told Billy, "Make sure you take care of my mom. You promised to check in on her."
Billy told James, "I will, I promise."
We watched James walk into the airport before we got in my car. Once we got in the car, I started bawling my eyes out. Billy was silent. I don't believe he knew how to react to seeing me upset. The remainder of the car ride was silent. When we got home, Billy hugged me. He told me, "MB, if you need anything, let me know. I am going to study, and I'll be home all night."
"Thank you, Billy. I will text you if I need anything. I'm going to try to figure out how to live alone for the first time." Billy is a good boy. I was proud of him and glad he was trying to learn a profession. He understood that school had never been his strong suit. I told him, "Let me know if you need help studying. I suddenly have a lot of available time." We smiled at my comment and went our separate ways.
My first day alone was a struggle. The apartment was quiet, so I tried to get comfortable on the couch and binge some TV, which made me tired. It was still early afternoon, and I wasn't much of a napper. I decided to go food shopping. I am an excellent cook. I thought I would make a nice dinner, get a bottle of wine, and try learning how to live alone.
When I got home, Billy was sitting on the front porch. When he saw me, he grabbed my grocery bags and brought them to my apartment. As he was leaving, I asked him, "Do you miss him already?"
"Yeah, I do, MB."
I could see it in his eyes. He was upset that his friend was gone, but I could also see something else was wrong. "What else is bothering you." I asked.
"Honestly, I am going to miss him, and I spent more time up here than I ever did downstairs. Now, I have to be around my mother more. She's not like you, MB. She's always angry, and she can't cook. Now I have to eat shitty food," he said with a laugh.
I laughed with him. I don't blame him for not wanting to be around his mother. She has always been a train wreck. I was happy that he wanted to continue to come up to my apartment. I had always assumed he was here because James was here. It made me feel good knowing he liked my company as well. I enjoyed having Billy around. I didn't want to make it weird for him by suggesting he should continue coming up without James around. Now that he mentioned it, I could share how much I would like him to continue coming to my apartment. "We can't have you eating shitty food, Billy. I realize James will not be here anymore, but that doesn't change anything. You are always welcome here. I don't like eating alone, so you can always come here and eat with me. As a matter of fact, you can use James' keys to let yourself in and out. They are on the hook by the front door. OK?"
I could see the relief in Billy's face. "Seriously, MB?"
I smiled back at him, "Seriously, Billy. You can spend as much time here as you want. You don't have to change just because James isn't here. I am going to start dinner soon. So, I hope you are hungry."
