we're lovin'
we're cryin'
we're callin'
'cause we're not sure how this goes]
The song has finished, its slow heartbeat replaced by a more urgent pulse. The light on the curtains is brighter, sharper. It's been a long time since night. A long time since dreams and spirits.
The hand that cups you presses harder but not hard enough, not now. This moment defines you, your body has no edges, no boundaries. As he touches you, you are everywhere drawn by his hands. Each small movement discovers more, opens more, explodes a little more. Your body has become like light itself: heavy, molten, white and more alive. Alert in this dream like never before. Each move of his hands catches the air and pulls it from your body, small gasps.
His lips bite gently at your ears, your neck, your shoulder. His lower hand is now massaging your breasts with more urgency. ("Oh God, please let this never stop")
Behind you his body starts to move, a new beat, a new song. Shifting perceptibly. Now he lifts your knee, taking the chance to stroke the inside of your thigh. This undiscovered country is a map of new nerves. You can no longer separate the individual parts of your body except one ("There", "Now", "Please"). He brushes you...a butterfly brushes you? Running his fingers over and up and down, and again...again. You quiver, trapped in the light like a small animal. Your intellect, words, volition have all deserted you. You are light, and warmth, and heartbeat. More and more you are moisture and need.
You are totally his. ("I surrender")
He has been slowly moving to reposition and now the stroking fingers are replaced ("Yes" "Now"). You can feel his thickness, rubbing against your outer lips, replacing fingers with something more basic, more needy, more welcome. He moves slightly, just enough torture every nerve in your body, just enough to match your shallow breaths. But as you stretch to welcome and receive him you feel the smile on your neck again. He stops. Everything stops. Once again the stars rotate and supernovae flare. Once again you can't breath, can't think ("Tease" "Tease")
Again he moves, a steady slow pulse and his hand drifts round to rub your clitoris. Fire, electricity, shock tugs air into your chest and expels it in short sharp shots - these are gasps.
And still he moves in that slow steady pulse. The meeting point wet from you, from him, from lust, from fantasy and dreams. This must end. This can't end.
But he pulls away again to change the angle, to put his tip....("There")...to....
Just breathe.
....to...
Heartbeat stops
....to....
In one swift moment he pushes himself completely inside you. And he is yours, and you are his and you are nobody but stars. Nobody but heat. Nobody but growing light.
Now his rocking triggers new urgencies. THIS is need, all that came before a pale shadow of this Now, this Time, this You. You move to match his rocking, pushing yourself upon him, pushing him deeper and deeper into your body, into your heart, into your soul. For the first time he makes a sound, a small gasp of his own that tells you that it is not all one-sided. That it might be more even than it seemed. That his heart is beating. And you imagine then that you can feel it against your back.
Together you move and stretch and try...reaching to get closer and deeper and closer. Still finding new areas of need ("There") but now he goes there and there and there changing rhythm to reach those other parts to make it more complete. This is your time.
A new sunrise starts, not in the east but deep inside your body. No less golden and white and molten than the Sunday morning rising outside. This Sun comes more quickly, rises less gradually but fires the same new life, the same new day. Now you cannot breath, the air is too thick, the time required too long. And the new sun is in your eyes and in your fingers and in you. Deep in you, where you can feel his firmness, can feel his strength, can feel his movement.
And this Sun comes more quickly....an....an....(indrawn breath at last) ...an....explosion. A purifying fire rushes over you, through you again and again. Now the angels have come for you. You hear them in each small death, each small breath. You cry out in sadness for the world, in awe at its beauty. You cry out in sadness that this must end. Pain and pleasure have no meaning against this totality, pure feeling, pure light.
Even as you start to slow, start to breath again you feel a different beat a different urgency. behind you, round you he flexes stronger and less gentle than before. His movements in you become fiercer, the purring beast now shows his power and his demands. Now the pulse is rising, two hearts, two bodies faster. This is passionate and primitive and ignites a different fire in you. Force him upwards, force him to share your light. Or share his. This is a dancing fire on a cave wall, this is the edge of darkness.
You can feel his body tensing, concentrating, focussed. and it sends you into the light again. A surprise as it catches you and lifts you, hands clenched, screaming rising. You feel, deep inside you that he becomes harder than ever, tighter than ever. Until he shudders and you shudder again.
And breath.
For one moment drawn out the world is just you two. Sweat and fire and burned out nerves that aftershock you still.
At last you can move again. to stretch and relax. To link back up to your body.
He leans on one elbow and cups your cheek pulling your face round a little to kiss your lips.
"Good morning my light."
